


There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me

by Mangoslayer87



Category: Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) & Related Fandoms, Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne is a famous actress, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Christmas, Christmas Angst, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Home for Christmas, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, Not Beta Read, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 81,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangoslayer87/pseuds/Mangoslayer87
Summary: Haunted by the memories of the death of her beloved adoptive father, Anne left her hometown three years ago, breaking not only her heart but that of her ex-boyfriend, Gilbert Blythe as well.Now a famous actress, she is back in Avonlea to celebrate Christmas with her adoptive mother, Marilla. Gilbert Blythe never left the small town on Prince Edward Island in the hope that one day she would come back. What will happen when the paths of the two former high school sweethearts cross again?Based loosely on the songs Dorothea and 'Tis the damn season of Taylor Swift's new album evermore=COMPLETE=
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Marilla Cuthbert & Anne Shirley, Matthew Cuthbert & Anne Shirley
Comments: 51
Kudos: 80





	1. Coming Home For Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Who comes up with the idea of writing a fic while you're already writing another? Right, that's me! This one was supposed to be a one-shot but I decided to do a 3-4 chapter fic. I'm just too wordy to write a one-shot.
> 
> The fic was inspired by the songs Dorothea and 'Tis the damn season' from Taylor Swift's new album evermore. The first chapter can be seen as a prologue. 
> 
> The title of this AU comes from a line in 'Tis the damn season. 
> 
> Enjoy reading and feel free to leave a comment. I would like to hear your thoughts on this. I'm always open to constructive criticism, but please keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue!

Three years! That is the exact number of years that had to pass before the day arrived when Anne Shirley-Cuthbert finally came back. It has been three long years of missing, three years of tears weeping in silence, and three years without the most important souls that life ever gave her, the people for whom her heart bore all her never-ending love. One of them was Matthew Cuthbert, the man who first showed her what it felt like to be wrapped in a warm embrace, his loving arms that became the safest and dearest place for her before she found a second pair of strong arms, the ones of Gilbert Blythe, loving her equally but in a different, much more intimate way. Matthew was torn from life by the hand of death who knew no mercy when it closed the tired blue eyes of Anne's beloved adoptive father who left his daughter on a freezing winter day in the month of December exactly three years ago. The day her father died was the darkest and coldest day of her life. It happened in a lonely moment when the silence lingered over Green Gables, the Cuthbert farm on the outskirts of Avonlea where she was sitting in his rocking chair next to Matthew's bed, holding his cold hand in an attempt to hold onto him as long as she was allowed to. She wanted to cling to him so badly but in the end, the strength in Matthew's rough but also tender fingertips was lacking and so his hands had to let go of the feeling of Anne, who had to witness how her adoptive father took his last breath before his aching chest stopped to heave and his heart lost its beat, the rhythm that was always one of her favorite sounds in the world. 

Almost everything Anne had she lost that day, her dear father who died of a heart attack, a piece of herself that Matthew took with him, and Gilbert Blythe, her ex-boyfriend, whom she lost as well when she made the decision to leave Avonlea, not able to cope with the pain and the memories the farmer town held. But now she was there again, in the place that kept all the aching memories of days gone by to celebrate Christmas with her adoptive mother Marilla, the festival that is usually a festivity of light and love, for which she long ago lost all the adoration she once had for it. The last time she celebrated Christmas was four years ago, a time that now felt like ancient history to her. There are days when she still feels the kisses on the soft cushions of her lips, which she exchanged with Gilbert under the Christmas tree, wrapped in his sheltering arms and the soft fabric of an emerald green knitted blanket that still smells like him, the love of her life. Sometimes she can still smell the scent of cinnamon stars and gingerbread, which Marilla baked with love, and perfumed Green Gables with the cozy odor of Christmas. And how could she forget the hug from Matthew, who gave her a new charm for her charm bracelet on the last Christmas that they had together? It was a silvery shining pendant in the shape of a heart, a symbol for the Anne who loves and is loved by so many others, now hanging on the bracelet that Matthew had given her on her sixteenth birthday. As beautiful as these moments were once for her, she hated them now, because they reminded her too much of the days when her lips still wore a smile and the sound of happy laughter that vibrated merrily through the rooms of Green Gables. After all these years there was nothing she could do but hate the Christmas season, the joyous season of light that became a season of darkness. 

'Tis the damn season and Anne Shirley-Cuthbert hoped nothing more to get through it quickly to be able to leave the small town that bears the pain of loss and broken hearts in every corner, which gaped in invisible wounds in her heart. There are some wounds that never heal and then there are those that have to be torn open to find closure, to stop the agonizing pain of a bleeding heart. The time had come for Anne to face old faces and old feelings, and although she did not feel ready to meet all the people again, her heart cried out for this one person who will always be the one who will carry it, even if he might deny the fragile piece of her being. One thing she knew for sure when she stood with her luggage in hand in front of the green lacquered door of Green Gables; In the end, the road not taken will always lead to him in her hometown. 

* * *

A paralysis froze her slender physique the moment she stood shivering in front of the house of her parents that became her home when she was adopted by the siblings at the young age of thirteen. Canadian winters are harsh and as many bitter winters, as she had lived through in recent years, she had the impression that this one would be particularly cruel. The icy breeze that swept through the area of the farm made her red fiery tresses dance, waltzing in the blowing waft that sang a song about homecoming, the feeling of returning to the place where there will always be a blazing bundle of flames in the fireplace that will do its best to give off its warmth as long as she is ready to be warmed by it. Standing outside, surrounded by white glistening layers of snow that reflected the golden beams of the celestial eye, she felt the iciness to her bones, inducing a numbness that tormented the entirety of her constitution. Maybe it was the cool gust of the cold December wind that numbed her insides, whispering through the bare branches of her dear Snow Queen; the cherry blossom tree, rooted in the frozen soil in front of her bedroom window, that bears the tendrils that she climbed with Gilbert Blythe in those summers that weren't cruel ones, and in which her world still knew the melody of laughter and the feeling of warmth, as they wove their way through the branches up to the place at the top of the crown, from which they had a view of the vastitude of the landscape that made Green Gables the beautiful place it always was to her. 

But the cause for her paralysis could have also been the fear that now that she was back everything might crush into her like a wave, pulling her down to depths that scared her so much and were the actual reason why she avoided stepping into the cold water for 3 years. She felt it, this certain feeling, that was sucking out the strength of her bones and muscles the moment she stood stagnant on the brown bast doormat with the words 'Welcome home' written on it. Welcome!...She was never more aware of the meaning of this word than at the moment when she stared at the 7-letters of it. Anne wondered if Marilla and the townsfolk of Avonlea would welcome her with wide-open arms, after all, it was she who avoided the city as if it were a dark forest that was haunted by the ghosts of the past who screamed the pain into the silence of the black void that her departure caused. The loudest screams that echoed in her head were those of the young man whose hazel eyes she still sees every night in her fitful sleep, the ghost that is alive and wears scars on his heart that was broken by her. Three years ago it landed on the cold floor, although she once promised him that she would hold it with the tenderness and the protective grip with which he held hers and she couldn't help but hate herself for shattering the one thing that was so dear to her. 

Her blue orbs settled on the Christmas wreath made of green branches of fir and spruce, decorated with a red silk bow and little Christmas ornaments. The straw stars that she made with Matthew many years ago caught her eye immediately. Her sorrowful blue eyes, which normally hold an ocean, suddenly held tears of remembrance. The afternoon, when she made the Christmas decorations with him, reappeared in her mind's eye, the way all the glue stuck more to his fingers and forehead than to the yellowish straws and the fit of laughter in which both fell, everything was there again, albeit blurred behind her eyes, the falling tears of which slid down her cheek and dropped to the ground, the same way her heart did 36 months ago.

She tried to lift her arm to knock on the green lacquered wooden door but she was incapable of it, she just couldn't knock on the entrance, replaying the moment in her head when she stood there on that gruesome day so many years ago, watching two men from the Undertaking, dressed in dark suits, and how they took Matthew with them who had lain in a wooden coffin, lifeless as his heart left him, as he did her that day. 

Her warm breath met the cold air, exhaling the oxygen she sucked in a second before, in an attempt to let out the pain that was just overwhelming her, hitting her with the power of an avalanche. Coming home was simply associated with all the agony, which rested so deep that she felt it from her little toe to her scalp, piercing through the body that had lost its knowledge of what it felt like to be without the sense of ache a long time ago. A golden bell that hung on the Christmas wreath rang suddenly when the door opened. The decorated greenery wiggled to the left and right on the green wooden surface of the main entrance that revealed Marilla Cuthbert. She appeared somewhat surprised, bearing her typical stern look that became softer when she saw eyes that had not looked at her face to face for 3 long years. Shocked, her lips released a gasp. 

"Oh, Anne!" The elderly woman, clad in a dark blue cotton blouse and a brown skirt covered her mouth with her hands, astonished to see Anne at Green Gables' front door. And although she knew that Anne had agreed to celebrate Christmas with her this year, it was such a surprise to see her now. She figured Anne wouldn't come until December 24th and fly back to Los Angeles right after the holidays. But there she was now 5 days earlier than expected, receiving a gentle smile from Marilla, who after a long time perceived the sentiment of motherly happiness again. She needed a moment to let the fact sink in that Anne, her dear and long-missed daughter was standing right in front of her. Sighing deeply, Marilla took one step, then a second one until she was standing directly in front of Anne, curling her right arm around the back of Anne's neck to give her what she thought Anne had must miss so much in the last few years, the security of arms that bore warmth and the feeling of home. 

"It's so good to see you, my girl. You won't believe how much I've missed you for the past three years." Her words were a whisper as she hugged her, not really able to fathom that she was there, her daughter, looking tired and exhausted, but she was back, her Anne was finally home. Marilla knew what a rarity it is for Anne to come home, bearing the knowledge that it must be a stressful thing to be an actress.

For almost two and a half years, Anne has been a member of the show ensemble of Lavender Fields, a 1800s historical period drama about a young woman who took over the headmaster position of an all-boys school in the fictional town Lavender Fields. She portraits a fierce female teacher who is struggling with prejudice and misogyny, playing the lead role of Cordelia Abbott, who fell in love with her colleague Oleander Roosevelt over the course of the seasons, played by Hollywood's heartthrob Royal Gardner. Last season, Lavender Fields was honored with the great privilege of being nominated 10 times for the Emmys, which earned Anne her first nomination for best leading actress in a drama series. And although in the end, the prize went to Zendaya for her portrayal of Rue Bennett in HBO's drama series Euphoria, Anne felt very honored to have been nominated at all.

Anne stumbled into show business by accident. Almost two and a half years ago, she was approached by a casting agent for the show at Venice Beach, where she was walking a horde of dogs. When she first came to Los Angeles, the city of angels, where she stayed with her old high school friend Cole Mackenzie, who owns a thriving art gallery in Santa Monica, she took all kinds of jobs, some to distract herself from all the hurtful events in the past and some to not to be a financial burden for her friend, after all, she lived with him, and even though Cole told her it wasn't necessary that she give him money, her pride couldn't accept it, though she appreciated his charity. She was a dog walker, a waitress at a dinner, babysitter, and cleaning lady until two and a half years ago on a hot sunny day in July she had the great opportunity to enter the world of glitter and glamor, but not everything that glitters is gold.

The job as an actress was a new adventure for her at first, but it quickly showed its downsides. Lavender Fields was a surprise success even the producers hadn't expected, but the performance Anne did was extremely charming and the on-screen chemistry with Royal Gardner big enough to grab the attention of the audience and the media. The paparazzi lurked around every corner, following her every step in hopes of getting a good picture of her, preferably one with a young man by her side. But unfortunately for the photographers and luckily for Anne, she only ever appeared in public with Cole, whom the media world knew was homosexual since he never made a secret of his sexuality. Many people she met in Los Angeles and the world of glamor turned out to be fake friends, just looking for that place in the light of Anne's fame that they wanted a piece of. Excessive Parties and champagne problems quickly became commonplace for her, at times so consuming that she no longer recognized herself in the mirror. She hid her real face behind a mask, while the pain that filled her found a hiding place in her heart. And as often as she smiled in front of the cameras, it was always fake, just like her masquerade.

While her daughter was away, there wasn't much Marilla saw of Anne. Her pictures showed up in glamor magazines, spreading rumors about Anne's life that made Marilla shake her head and caused an eye roll from her whenever she held one of those magazines in her hands. The filthy news of gossip ranged from having an affair with Roy Gardner, the co-star of Lavender Fields, to being the reason he left his pregnant wife. At some point Marilla stopped reading the articles full of lies, knowing that these were all absurdities that were by no means true. Anne had her chances of having some fun with attractive young men. She could have had famous actors and singers, producers and artists but she never hopped on the train for the reason that her heart belongs to someone else, being sure that all the roads not taken will always lead to him.

Anne and her adoptive mother had weekly FaceTime calls, but for Marilla, nothing was comparable to the feeling of seeing Anne outside of TV screens and magazines. Now, she was tangible in every possible way and Marilla couldn't be happier to have her daughter back. In the act of the embrace they currently shared with each other, Marilla's cheek touched her daughter's, and she noticed the dampness of her skin and the warmness of the liquid pearls that streamed down the redhead's face. She wondered how much-suppressed pain still weighs in Anne's fragile heart, feeling the weight of her own agony as she stood in the penetrating winter cold. 

"You're finally home. My girl is finally back home!" She choked out the words that Anne received lying rigidly in Marilla's arms, her arms hanging down by her sides. She obviously didn't have the ability to wrap them around Marilla. Her limp shoulders just carried too much emotional baggage to have the strength for a hug.

Instead of hugging Marilla, she placed a kiss on the wrinkled cheek of her adoptive mother. It was a small token of daughterly love but she had to show her that she missed her too. "Oh, Marilla, I missed you so much! I'm sorry I didn't come earlier, but my work is pure stress. It has taken up all of my time in the last years that I just managed to visit you now. Are you mad at me for not coming back earlier?" Anne sobbed hearable, scolding herself for taking so long to face the fear of coming home. It was only half the truth that she uttered because she had time for a visit. In fact, she had more than enough time for it, all she lacked was the strength and willingness to do it.

With her thumbs, Marilla wiped away the tears of her daughter, which rolled unstoppably from her eyelashes. Her forehead rested on Anne's while her hands were placed on the redhead's temples, rubbing them soothingly and with motherly warmth. Tired eyes fell shut and the elder let out a deep sigh in which was all the relief she felt at that moment. "Fiddlesticks, Anne. You're here and that's all that matters. I can't say that I wasn't looking forward to your visit sooner, but now you're back. I can see and feel you and that's what makes me happiest right now. Oh, Anne, I am so happy to celebrate Christmas with you this year and as hard as it may be for you, remember that you are not alone. You have me and there are so many others who have missed you over the years."

"Really?" Anne gazed wide-eyed into Marilla's gentle blue eyes. Her expression held a questioning look. It has always been a preposterous notion for her to be missed by others, to be missed, means to be loved by someone and she had the assumption that she did not deserve to be loved, not after having left broken hearts behind from which she didn't know if the shattered pieces had been picked up by now.

Marilla nodded, brushing red tresses in calming motions with her palms. "Of course Anne, do you think you can disappear and everyone goes on with their lives as before? No, my dear, it certainly wasn't like that. You may have been missed less by some, but all the more achingly by others." She wanted to say, especially by a certain person, but she didn't, simply not knowing how much a mention of him would affect Anne. "Now, let's go in, you must be freezing. I've baked my famous plum puffs for church tomorrow, but I'm sure no one will notice if two are missing. If you want, I can make you a nice hot cocoa, and then you can tell me how you've been doing lately. How does that sound?" she asked, taking the leathery brown Louis Vuitton rolling luggage from Anne, smiling at her famous daughter as she awaited her answer. 

Anne buried her hands in her emerald-green wool coat, the coat she's had since high school and was once a gift from Matthew. It feels like one of his hugs every time she wears it, even if the pressure of his arms and the touch of his hands were no longer palpable on her back. She saw Marilla turn and step over the threshold, entering the farmhouse that the actress left three years ago and has never dared step inside since then.

"That sounds fantastic Marilla, but only if I can get a lot of cream on top of my cocoa." She tried to smile sincerely but her eyes betrayed her, giving away that it takes more than a hot chocolate to get used to the feeling of being home again. One last time she inhaled the icy winter air, an attempt to find some calm in the chaos of her emotions until she finally found the courage to step over the doorstep to enter Green Gables, where she experienced the most beautiful and painful moments of her life. She found her trembling right hand on the doorknob, in the process of closing the door, as she shifted her puffy teary eyes once more on the doormat. "Welcome home, Anne!" she whispered to herself. Anne closed the door behind her, which fell into the lock with a loud click, standing in the empty hallway and feeling so lost and out of place in the big house where people used to laugh heartily. Back in the days when Matthew was still alive, there was always music playing in the background, to which Matthew swirled her in circles and Gilbert danced with her. Now only silence could be heard in the house and Anne didn't know how to endure this stillness for 8 long days without collapsing. Deep inside she knew that all that had lead her home was the power of love and that one smile that she had missed so much in the past three years, wondering if she would see it and him in the next few days. She shook her head, desiring to clear her mind when she heard a sound.

The top steps of the stairs creaked as Marilla descended them. "I brought your luggage to your room. You know where to find bed linen and all that, but first let's go to the kitchen and warm up with hot chocolate, okay?" A smiling Marilla told her, making her way in the direction of the kitchen before she noticed that Anne wasn't following her, so she turned around, eyeing her daughter questioningly. "Is everything all right, my dear? Her quizzically words left her mouth worriedly during the time she brushed her hands over the white apron that covered her skirt.

Anne's face was pale, any color her cheeks had worn faded in an instant as she tried to grab hold of the banister with trembling hands, her voice weak and almost breaking as she asked the one question that had been her only thought since she left Los Angeles. "Is he here Marilla? Is Gilbert in Avonlea?"

Her eyes were closed when Marilla nodded to her daughter, only guessing the pain she and Gilbert must have felt in recent years. "He never left, Anne. Do you want to know what I think? Something tells me that he stayed because he always hoped that one day you would come back, back to him, Anne." 

The redhead had to swallow her tears, which were dripping waterfall-like from her eyes, liquid pearls that were flooded to the surface by her heart that was broken by herself. Already in the kitchen and unable to see what condition Anne was in, Marilla addressed Anne anew. "I'm sure you will see him in church tomorrow." She called out, pouring some milk into two cups filled with cocoa powder. 

This sentence was enough to pull Anne to the ground. Her knees quaked and became weaker, losing all of their strength just as she sank to the cold floor where she sat flabbergasted while she wondered where she should get the power from in order to face the person in whom she was putting the pain she carried in her fragile being, lingering there as heavy as stone in her heart, that secretly called his name. 

"Tomorrow!" She breathed heavily, her heart racing as she whispered her words into the emptiness of the hallway. "Tomorrow I'll see you again, Gil."

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. My Only Wish This Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne has to face the ghosts of her past. We learn more about her past with Gilbert and she finally meets him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! The chapter is long, so I'll warn you in advance. I don't know if you as a reader prefer shorter or longer chapters, please let me know for the future. Anyway, I wanted to build up tension until the moment Anne and Gilbert met again, so the chapter is longer than the first. My phone broke in the last few days in which I had saved quite a bit of dialogue that I had to rewrite, but I hope you like the chapter anyway. 
> 
> I'm curious if you will find all the references to Taylor's songs because this chapter contains quite a lot. 
> 
> Enjoy reading and feel free to leave a comment. I would like to hear your thoughts on this. I'm always open to constructive criticism, but please keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue!

It was a foreign feeling for Anne to sleep in her old wooden bed. The white single sized foam mattress, which years ago gave off such an enormous softness and warmth, was now hard and cold. This small place next to her, which she secretly reserved for this one person on so many nights was now empty and all the love that once ricocheted in bright laughter in the room from one wall to the next has not been perceivable for a very long period. All she could hear was stillness but not the calm type of silence. It was much more a quiet that was accompanied by a coldness that lingered there, making a shiver run down her spine that settled achingly in the chambers of her heart that felt the cracks and gaps only he could fill, this vacancy that misses the missing pieces that broke to shards three years ago when the heart of glass fell to the ground and was broken by herself.

Lying in the bed that bore so many beautiful remembrances, Anne felt like a boomerang in human skin who once decided to leave, but came back, only that in her core there is the heavy gravity that is attracted by the magnetic force of a man, which he is for her, always was and possibly always will be, the one who led her back to the place where her heart is anchored in the depths of his, albeit he might not know or want to admit that the breakable crux of her being never left its safest haven. It was once warm, this room and the bed in which she lost everything to him when they skipped the night of the prom and made love instead, seizing the opportunity to lose their virginity when Marilla and Matthew were out of the town, visiting Charlottetown with the Lynde's over the weekend to see a musical there.

Their hearts and souls connected when they first met, but on the summer night in May five years ago their bodies finally got tangled up, speaking the language of love when they loved each other from skin to skin for the very first time. He was the first and last she let get so close that he could see every pore and count each of her orange freckles that he traced with the tips of his fingers like stars in the firmament, he mapped out the scars of her childhood, caressing them with his loving lips, finding constellations on her surface in shapes his love formed, hearts and images of holding hands on the layer of the body that was his Milky Way, which heaved him many times into galaxies where he could see thousands of golden clusters caused by the ecstasy he felt with her. Her old bed used to be the warmest bed she had ever known because it was one of the places where he shared his love with her.

As was to be expected, Anne's night was very restless, with nervousness she tossed from one side to the other most of the time, seeing hazel eyes every time she tried to close her blue ones and that blinding smile that she had missed so much over the years. His damn pretty dimples haunted her in her dream, the two little spots that formed when the sun rose up for her and he gave her that smile that always carried the happiness that she put in his heart. But she knew that there was an ache in this place now, which was put there by the ache in her. 

After everything she has done to him, how is she supposed to find the courage to face him? She looked thoughtfully at the white-painted ceiling of her room, her hands folded on her chest while the fingers of her right hand tapped nervously against the surface of her left, asking herself if it would be too late to pretend to Marilla that she is sick and therefore not able to attend the service. If there was one thing she was talented at, it was playing pretend. That would be the only way to postpone the moment Anne knew had to come one day. The ghosts of the past always catch up with someone, hiding in the closet where she used to play hide and seek. She knew that all too well but was in no way ready to face hers.

It was the gentle knock on her bedroom door that brought her out of the black hole in which her thoughts had pulled her. Taking a deep breath and straightening up, she gave Marilla permission to enter the room, caressing the corner of her eye with her thumbs to stop the tears that were starting to form there. "Come in." She called, trying to keep her voice steady so as not to admit that she was crying. It wasn't that she didn't want to show weakness, she just felt too powerless to face the confrontation with Marilla's questions.

"Good morning Anne! Did you sleep well? I hope you got enough rest after your exhausting trip." Marilla's hands were folded as she stood in the doorway, wearing a loving smile on her face that Anne didn't think she deserved after all she'd done. She should have come home sooner, so much sooner to be there for Marilla, who lost her beloved brother and last blood relative. But all Anne could think of back then was her own pain, her loss without wondering how the others must have felt, whom he was so dear to. 

All attempts to smile genuinely failed and as so often in the last past years, Anne couldn't help but fake a smile. "Morning, Mar. I must say that it was strange to sleep in my old bed, but I was able to rest well." She lied to her adoptive mother so as not to give her the indication that she was feeling uncomfortable at Green Gables. She didn't want to worry her any more than she already did. The smile she gave her was forced but she was used to the burning feeling of her cheeks whenever someone received a feigned smile from her. If there's one thing she's learned in her job as an actress, it is the ability to act out something she doesn't truly feel.

Anne watched Marilla enter the bedroom with a gleam in her eyes that she hadn't seen in Marilla's pupils for a long time. The elderly woman pulled away the white bedspread that covered her famous daughter and folded it up, placing it over the end of the bed at the moment she spoke to Anne, sitting on the edge of the soft fabric of the mattress that felt so heavy for Anne, laden with memories that weighed so incredibly agonizing in her heart. "Well, that's good to hear, Anne. But now get ready. Breakfast is waiting for you in the kitchen and then we can make our way to church." Marilla hummed, patting Anne's knee before she stood up and headed to the door. 

Marilla offered Anne a cheery smile as she stood in the doorway, turning all her attention to her daughter while her left hand rested on the frame of the green lacquered door. It was one of those smiles that expressed motherly love and reached Marilla's eyes that shone with joy. "Anne, do you mind driving us to church? I don't like driving when the streets are covered in snow and I'm sure you don't want to drive with Rachel and Thomas." Her question came along with a hopeful tone in her voice that evoked a sigh from Anne, who did not want to disappoint her mother, knowing that she had done this enough in the past few years, even if Marilla would probably never admit it. But what else should Anne assume? Marilla must have felt the letdown in recent years, every time her famous daughter refused to visit her because the redhead saw the pain in her mother's blue globes that she had put there and she hated herself for it. 

"Sure, Marilla. Of course, I can drive us to church," Anne said in a halting tone, climbing out of her bed. She brushed her hands over the black silky smooth fabric of her nightgown that had the initials of her name embroidered, clutching the sides of it tightly as she slowly made her way to the bathroom to get ready for the sermon, avoiding the gaze of her adoptive mother as she passed her. The bathroom door fell into the lock behind her and Anne's gaze wandered from the green marbled tiles to the large mirror in which she watched her reflection. Her complexion was pale, all light and color had lost her face, sucked out by the pain that tugged the strands of her heart and was felt to the marrow and bone by her. Propping her hands on the sink, she found some type of stabilization. She breathed deeply while her pulse was racing uncontrollably. Her shattered heart was beating loudly in her chest, knowing that it was only a matter of time before she would face the drummer boy who set the rhythm of it. 

Trying to stabilize her breathing she began to count to ten, hearing how Marilla apparently put her hand on the door and the muffled sound of her voice. "Thank you, my dear, that's very kind of you. I can't wait to show off my famous daughter in front of everyone." Her mother chuckled in jest, assuming that Anne must be in the shower when she heard the water running. 

Anne, however, had purposely turned the faucet on to silence everything around her. It was enough already that her heart beat so loud that she was afraid Marilla would hear it on the other side of the door. Reddish fiery tresses were bobbing up and down when she shook her head, being able to see in the glassy reflector in front of her how the pearls of hurt escaped her eyes that were once so full of life, but now seemed so burned out and empty. Crying all the tears her heart had shaped, she let her feelings out, and although they had no weight, they were like rocks, harboring a heaviness that deeply filled her whole being. 

When she looked in the mirror and wept for the memory, his face appeared in it, the image of him lovingly wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her on the side of her neck while she was brushing her teeth. "No!" Anne cried, shaking her head vehemently to get the picture out of her mind. "No, no, no!" 

His image then disappeared, and all that was left was the memory of happy days that were just painful fragments for her now. Sighing deeply, Anne whispered into the mirror, addressing the one who wasn't there but whose presence she felt so intensely. 

"I'm not ready, Gil. How am I supposed to face you knowing that I broke your heart?"

* * *

  
  


Anne parked the car between the church and Avonlea High, the place where she met Gilbert almost ten years ago and where her feelings for one another grew over the years that was friendship at first but turned into love throughout the period of their high school time. It was in their freshman year when Anne first met Gilbert under the bleachers of the sports field where she was hiding from Billy Andrews and his friends, who at the time had made it their goal to make Anne's life a living hell. Billy and his clique never missed a moment to make it clear to her that they don't want ugly orphans like her at school. There wasn't a day that she wasn't exposed to the hateful comments that he and his dumbasses of friends shot in her direction. All of that changed the day Gilbert Blythe entered her life, the first friend she ever made. Albeit Anne didn't need to be protected and could take care of herself well enough, he defended Anne against Billy Andrews when his fist made the acquaintance of Billy's face, punching him square in the face after he dared to bully Anne because of her short hair that Marilla had to cut after Anne wanted to dye her hair black, but turned out to be a total failure when her red tresses suddenly turned green.

Gilbert was fascinated by Anne from the start, which quickly turned into an admiration that he first expressed from afar, sometimes with a gentle shy smile, other times with a poem he left in her locker, seeing hidden in a corner how she tore the notes into small pieces most of the time. Anne was different, fiery, more passionate about learning than anyone else, and the most beautiful girl he had ever met, with long red hair that cascaded from her shoulders like liquid fire, the vibrant copper tones that became his sunrise and that even on the coldest day had the ability to warm him. He loved her freckles, the tiny constellations of her complexion that he admired like the stars in the sky. Before he met her, Gilbert was never interested in astronomy but he began to love the knowledge of stars when he gazed at the tiny dots on her skin, in search of all her galaxies that became the entire universe to him.

She, however, couldn't relate to Gilbert's behavior at first, wondering why the most popular boy in school was writing her poetry. But she was able to admit that he was a rather handsome boy, one of the cutest boys of the school with a dark mop of brown locks that many girls wished they could run their fingers through. When she walked down the school corridors and sat in the classes she had with him, she always felt that piercing look of his eyes through the layers of her clothing that felt so different from all the others. While the looks of most of her classmates were rather cold and derogatory, Gilbert's held a sense that was doing strange things to her, feeling like a warm hug from a distance that shook her insides the way an earthquake does, tearing her heart open from which the butterflies were freed that only could fly because of him. 

At first, she didn't dare look into his eyes for fear of finding something there that she might like but then the day came when she literally stumbled into them as she tripped over her own two feet and landed into the arms of the boy who had approached her after his field hockey training. Standing under the bleachers with him, she found something in his eyes that she liked and in time began to love. In the depths of greenish-brown orbs, she found that warming fire in the two windows of the home that she discerned in him and became the favorite place of her heart. His bones were the scaffolding, and his arms the door that let her in, his heart the fire that kept her warm, and his eyes the windows of the house in which she found her home, the place that was once her dearest.

It took them three long years to admit their feelings to each other, three long years of secret longing, screaming hearts that broke when Anne accepted Charlie Sloane's invitation to the sophomore year winter ball, at the time responding to the rumor that Gilbert would accompany Winifred Rose to the dance, the British blonde who was considered one of the prettiest girls of the school. Gilbert had already bought the tickets that rested in his pants pocket ready to ask Anne if she would like to accompany him until he saw Moody Spurgeon pat Charlie Sloane on the shoulder and praise the shy boy for being brave enough to invite the fiery-tempered Anne Shirley-Cuthbert to the school dance. In the end, he danced with Winifred, wishing to hold Anne in his arms, who wished to have him by her side.

It was after the death of Gilbert's father, John Blythe when his heart discovered its bravery and was finally ready to confess all the feelings he harbored for Anne. He saw with his own eyes that life is too short to wait for something to happen and so he did something himself to end the longing he felt for her. That was almost six years ago, more precisely at Christmas, when he gave her nothing but a love letter in which he poured out his heart and put on paper everything that his lips could not say. Six years ago they shared their first kiss under the mistletoe, a kiss that held the magic of Christmas and the fireworks of New Year's Eve. The two torches that they both carried for each other all these years became a blazing fire in whose dazzling haze their two hearts glowed that had found each other. Flames filled with warmth and heat burned for almost 3 years until Anne turned off the light and blew it out when she left Avonlea, leaving him with a broken heart behind.

Everything Anne associated with Christmas had to do with him as well. Twinkling lights and decorated Christmas trees, the fall of snow, and the smell of gingerbread and Christmas cookies, everything that makes Christmas the magical festival it usually is, reminded her of him. Constantly, the holidays lingered like bad perfume that just won't fade away and settled in every pore of her epidermis, dripping into the cells of her skin where it fabricated a stinging sensation that was a mix of longing and hurt. 

Trudging through the snow with Marilla beside her who had her hands clasped around a carry tray that contained her favorite plum puffs, Anne felt this mixture that was like poison for her body, intoxicating her with every step that she neared the church in which he would also be, taking the last strength out of her that she had. "I can't do it, Marilla. I can't just go into the church and pretend I've never been away and nothing has ever happened." Anne said suddenly, desperately rooted to the spot, her eyes narrowed, which were directed to the ground on which a slippery layer of snow lay that covered the footpath.

"Anne!" Marilla fixed her gaze on Anne. The redheaded actress seemed scared, giving the impression of a shy deer that is afraid of being surrounded by people. "Is it because of Gilbert? Is he the reason you don't want to go to church?" she asked with a questioning facial expression, seeing from the far distance how the pastor greeted the first churchgoers. The snowfall on this December day was a gentle one, settling quietly on the town that had been preparing for the Christmas holidays. Strings of lights and decorations hung in the windows everywhere, festively decorated wreaths adorned the houses and a Christmas tree shone in front of the church as a sign of arrival and speaking of hope. 

Marilla sighed. "Let me tell you one thing, you can't run away all the time, Anne. At some point, you'll see each other, and believe me when I tell you it's better when he finds out from you that you are back than from someone else. "

"But does it have to be the church? Don't you think it would be better to do all of this without an audience? Everyone will think I'm a snobbish and arrogant starlet who forgot where she came from and that's why I haven't been here for so long. But that's not how it is, Marilla. I just didn't have the strength to come back to the place where everything reminds me of Matthew and him."

Anne watched the soft snow that fell quietly from the feathery cushions of the heaven above, settling softly on her red tresses, which were specially curled into soft waves, the hairstyle that Gilbert loved most on her. Her hair, which was blowing in the icy wind that hissed through the snow-covered streets of the city, sounding in a whisper through all the bare trees that had just as little color as Anne's pale complexion, was rather unconsciously styled the way she wore it now. Maybe a part of her just wanted to look good for him. Opening the palm of her right hand, she gazed up at the white clouds that hung on an even whiter sky. Gentle winter kisses rested like soft feathers on the heart line of her hand, the arch that went from her index finger to her little finger and had such a clear structure, protruding long and deep on her palm, telling of the emotionality that she feels more intensely than others, with every fiber of her being, however painful it may be.

Thinking of Gilbert, the pain that littered her heart was on its way to be let out. First tears welled up in her ocean blue eyes, in which waves streamed that were about to break. "Everything reminds me of Gil. The school, the café on Cornelia Street where we always studied together. Even the church where we sat next to each other every Sunday and secretly held hands. Everything, just every corner reminds me of Gilbert. I broke his heart and mine too. I ruined everything and I hate myself for it. Marilla, I hate myself so much, for leaving you and him instead of going through the grief of Matthew's death together."

The tearful face of Anne broke Marilla's heart. She could always guess that there had to be some deeper reason why Anne had avoided Avonlea so much in the past few years and to get that confirmed stabbed her heart that had to learn what it meant to bore a mother's love. She glanced left and right to see if there were any other people around and put the plum puffs she was holding in her hands on the ground in the snow, using her teeth to take off her tight black leather gloves.

"Oh, my little girl," she said, rushing to Anne who sobbed bitterly and was seeking shelter in the warm embrace of her adoptive mother.

"You did what you thought was right then. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but you've been wearing the band-aid long enough. Now it's time to tear it off and let all of your wounds breathe. Do you understand what I mean by that?" Marilla had the feeling that the tears that she wiped from Anne's face at this moment will not be the only tears that she has to dry during Anne's stay. She knew very well that Anne's heart was simply covered by too many scars that kept gaping, making it impossible for her to feel the feeling of happiness after all these years.

Anne nodded, understanding the meaning behind Marilla's words although she did not know if her wounds would ever close. "But what if it hurts so badly that the wound never stops bleeding. Three years have passed and I think of him and Matthew every single day. What if the pain lasts a lifetime, Marilla? I don't know if I have the strength to endure it any longer." She whimpered, gazing into Marilla's blue eyes that held an expression that said, ' _Everything will be fine.'_

Marilla didn't really know what to do and so she did the only thing that immediately crossed her mind. She embraced Anne, squeezing her tightly while Anne had her face buried into the slim shoulder of her mother who wanted to show the show star that she is not alone, not with her pain, and certainly not with the grief over Matthew's loss. For minutes they stood together surrounded by snowflakes that gathered in the air to dance the waltz of winter, which can be harsh and cruel, but also has so many instants filled with warmth to offer. It took quite some minutes before Marilla let go of Anne, directing her words to her the moment she got rid of her own tears that left her eyes.

"Listen closely, Anne. Losing Matthew will leave a lifelong pain, the ache will always be felt, but the intensity will eventually decrease but Gilbert is alive, Anne. All you have to do is to step into the church and ask for forgiveness. Christmas is the time of miracles, maybe yours is waiting there. But to get an answer to this you have to be strong and find out if his heart beats for you the same way your heart beats for him. You still love him, don't you?"

Marilla's question was answered by Anne with a determined nod of the head and words that held a certainty that Anne has never lost in recent years, knowing that there will always be only one for her, Gilbert Blythe, her first, last, and only love forevermore.

"I never stopped loving him." She confirmed, bending down to pick up Marilla's plum puffs from the ground. Using her right hand, Anne brushed the snow off the plastic surface of the carrier, carrying it in her left hand while weaving her right arm into the crook of Marilla's left. Choosing waterproof mascara that morning turned out to be a good decision, considering how many tears she cried in the past few minutes as she shifted her teary eyes to her right side, glancing at Marilla whose eyes were directed to the church for a moment that was already within their range of vision. She turned her puzzling gaze back to her daughter, asking a question with her eyes that doesn't need words. Anne just blinked and tried to smile, even if it was not easy for her. 

"I have to tell him, Marilla. I want Gilbert to know that I could never stop loving him."

  
  


* * *

  
  


They felt heavy, her slack legs that carried her, following the whisper of her heart that told her it was time to face all the ghosts of the past that had gathered at Avonlea Church to celebrate the weekly church service. Perhaps it was the thick layer of snow that made every step harder as she neared the church more and more. The snow under her shoes felt so icy and full of ballast. In a way, it felt rather strange to step over the snow-filled walkway as if she was walking this path for the first time in her life. The last time she sat in one of the pews was on the day Matthew was buried. It was also the last day she held the hand of Gilbert, who did the best he could to be there for her but couldn't stop her from staying in Avonlea in the end. He had seen how she climbed into the taxi, her eyes empty as if her life ended with Matthew's. And although he ran after her, he wasn't fast enough to hinder her, to stop her from leaving him. 

The creak of the church door was as loud as it had been three years ago, except that Anne could hear it this time, the squeaking of the door hinges that was shrill and sounded like someone was scratching a blackboard with their fingernails. That sound was deafening torture, which Anne could not register three years ago, watching Matthew's farewell service in a bubble that deafened her and silenced everything around her back then. Today, however, her heart may have been paralyzed but her perception was sharpened, hearing the reaction of the townsfolk as she entered the house of God.

Sudden gasps and whispers from some people could be heard who fixed their eyes wide open and in disbelief on the redhead who left the town as a Queens student and came back as a Hollywood actress. Anne heard a woman who sounded very much like Mrs. Andrews who stood in a corner, whispering behind her hand. 

"This is Anne Shirley-Cuthbert"

The woman gasped while the whispering gossip of some of the Avonlea women grew louder, in a tone that Anne couldn't ignore, who tried as best she could to block out the gossip, not daring to look in the direction of the group. 

A voice similar to Mrs. Pye's began to utter condescending, mocking comments that were able to get Anne's attention anyway. "Who would have thought that after breaking poor Gilbert Blythe's heart she would dare to come back to Avonlea again." The words she spat ran through Anne's ear canal and hit her bruised heart with the stab of a Swiss Army knife. The arrogantly speaking woman seemed to didn't care if Anne could hear her words and so the redhead had to overhear how Mr. Pye obviously hadn't gotten enough of sharing her opinion with Mrs. Boulter and Mrs. Andrews. 

“I bet all the fame made her forget where she came from. It seems like Avonlea just isn't good enough for a Belladonna like her to hang out with the townspeople. I guess I'll never understand why Gilbert Blythe wasted his time with someone like her. She isn't even pretty. I heard that she's the reason he never went to Toronto even though the UofT offered him a medical scholarship. Can you believe that?"

"Poor Gilbert Blythe. I wonder if Royal Gardner is in town too. Can you believe that he supposedly left his beautiful pregnant wife for someone like her?" Mrs. Boulter said exaggerated. 

Anne had heard enough, tilting her head to the marble ground and clasping her upper body with her hands, she decided to escape the comments of the women and looked for a corner where she could have a moment to herself. After what she had to overhear, she needed a moment to let all the whispered words sink in. There it was, the fear that she had all along, of the fact that everyone would believe she hadn't cared about them in the last few years. People seemed to assume that life in Hollywood was just dazzling spotlights and bathing in success for Anne. They obviously believed that it changed her. If only people knew how nerve-wracking and lonely life as a person of public life can be. And although she didn't care about their opinions, the words hit her deeper than expected.

The piercing looks of the people could be felt through the thick layer of her emerald green wool coat and all Anne wished at that moment was to be in another place, or maybe to travel back in time to make up for all her mistakes. She wished she could set the course for the paths that should have been taken anew. Gilbert didn't go to Toronto, which meant he never fulfilled his dream of studying medicine. Anne overcame a feeling of guilt, swallowing hard as she wondered if she was really the reason why he never pursued his aspiration. How badly must her departure have hit him?

While all these tantalizing questions were rushing through Anne's mind, Marilla was in conversation with Rachel Lynde, who at least gave Anne a smile, waving at her before she turned her focus back to her chat with her friend. From one corner Anne heard several people laughing, which instantly caught her attention. Among the happy laughter, she recognized that of a person who was once so dear to her. Anne's blue eyes suddenly met familiar brown eyes and the lips, from which a laugh just came from, turned downwards, shocked eyes held an ache that was just as put there by Anne as that in the blue eyes of Marilla and Gilbert's hazel ones. 

Diana Barry excused herself for a moment, leaving the group with whom she was in a cheerful interaction some minutes ago. Only a few steps separated her from her former bosom friend, from whom for three years she only saw what could be seen in the glamor magazines and Celebrity blogs on the Internet. Sometimes Cole also told her about how Anne was doing and what she was up to, and of course she followed Anne's path on TV, watching Lavender Fields every Sunday and wondered what had happened to Anne, her best friend, who three years ago suddenly left without even saying goodbye.

Anne didn't know the people in the group, but the way they stared at her, they clearly had to know Anne. To be honest, Anne didn't care who these people were either. If she wanted to know who Diana was hanging with while she was gone, she would have asked her, but her problems were of a different nature and just too big and painful to wonder if Diana made new friends while Anne was living the dream of a Hollywood career that for so many days was more like a nightmare to her, dressed in a daydream.

The raven-haired young woman bit her lip as she stood in front of Anne. As far as one could tell she was angry, eyeing Anne with a shocked expression. Her hands, resting on her sides were clenched into fists. It happened in the blink of an eye when she slowly unclenched her right hand, using the flat surface of it as she slapped Anne in the face. Anne's visage tipped to the left in the act as she raised her hand to her cheek, the pain of which was nowhere close to the pain she felt deep inside. Even if she did not expect this reaction to her return, she could understand it. Many hearts broke as she left and one was unmistakably Diana Barry's, who right now couldn't comprehend what she had done, covering her mouth with her lips as she stared wide-eyed at Anne.

Rubbing her cheek, Anne raised her head, seeing Diana's shocked state. "I guess that was exactly what I deserved. I didn't even know you had such power in you, Diana Barry." She tried not to make the situation worse with her words, so she decided on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

But then something unexpected happened. Diana's lips lifted, it was a smile that spoke of relief that Anne didn't know whether it came from the slap or because Diana was happy to look into those familiar blue eyes again that she had missed for such a long time. "Oh, Anne!" Diana said, weeping some tears the moment she encircled the back of Anne's neck with her hand, which was still feeling the effects of the impact with the redhead's cheek. "You are here. After all these years you are finally home." Not able to fathom that Anne was back, Diana wanted to hold onto her, embracing her tightly with a warmth that knocked the air out of Anne's lungs. In her wildest dreams, she never thought she would be greeted by Diana like this.

Anne was too emotional to get a single word out and so she just enjoyed the feeling of Diana's hands running in soothing circles over her back. The reunion of the two friends was of course not hidden from the curious glances of the people who whispered to each other. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was back and that quickly spread to Avonlea's residents, who gave Anne suspicious looks which she felt coming from all sides, but paid no attention to them given that she was too busy absorbing the moment she longed for for so long.

It was the loud impact of an object falling to the ground that abruptly ended the moment between Anne and Diana. The floor was covered with crumbs and bits of apple that must have been part of the apple pie that fell from the hands of the person who looked at the back of Anne with eyes wide open.

Gilbert Blythe appeared not only shocked but petrified as he stood there, rooted to the spot and unable to move or speak while his hazel eyes glanced at the person who was once his everything. His gaze was fixed on the red flowing hair, that always felt like a sunrise and a sunset for him, the beautiful color of the strands through which he ran his fingers, adorned them with blossoms and wreaths of flowers, and in which he had smelled the scent of rain when he danced with her in the summer rain, only surrounded by the moon and the stars he whispered to in the years she was gone, breathing his most secret wish into the night sky as he asked the moon and all the stars to guide her back to him.

Seeing Diana's shocked look in her eyes, Anne let go of her friend and turned around, seeing hazel eyes for the first time in three long years that still held the pain of days gone by. Only the heartbreak which was visible in his handsome features stopped Anne's heart from losing its beat, which contracted like a noose was wrapped around it, taking away the breath that only he could ever steal from her.

"Gil!" Anne breathed heavily who called him by the nickname she once gave him. His eyes, which stuck to hers like a magnet and seemed so empty, began to shimmer as tears formed in them, which his heart wept, expressing the words it otherwise cannot say.

"Don't you dare to call me that." he said, turning around to escape her and the emotional roller-coaster within his head and heart. But then he turned one last time before he stepped out of the church, scanning her face with all the hurt his eyes held. 

"You have no right to call me by that name. The Gil, you once knew doesn't exist anymore. Remember, you took him with you when you left me."

The same Gilbert who once loved her with everything he had now only had words that kept tearing her heart to pieces. The lips she kissed had lost their winning smile and Anne knew that she was the trigger that aimed at the core underneath his chest, destroying all the love it once held for her.

Anne watched as he stormed out of the church, where the excitement was huge. The encounter between her and Gilbert was not hidden from anyone. In every corner were people standing, whispering behind their hands and sharing what they were witnessing. Anne hated being there, wishing she hadn't come back to Avonlea in the first place. In the past few years she has run away from her pain over and over again and as challenging as it was, she had to stop and finally face everything that weighed so heavily on her.

So Anne ran, she ran after him, even if she didn't know whether she would reach him. But it was time. Anne wanted to come back home, back into the arms, which hopefully would let her in for one last time, granting her entry into the home she found in him. Hoping that the fire still burned in his heart that she ignited, she ran in the direction the compass in her left chest was leading her, following the heart that hers was beating for. 

* * *

Gilbert was shivering and it had nothing to do with the wintry cold. She was back, just like that unbearable pain that pressed against his rib cage, the expression of his heart that never had the strength to let go of her, clinging to the love it had once received from her to an extent that was immeasurable. He knew the minute he saw her that he would never get over her, not tomorrow, not in a month, and not in a year either. Hell, not even 3 years were enough to forget her, her face in which he counted the stars, her smile that was his sun, brightening his day after his father's death lay over him like dark fields of mist and then her eyes that held the ocean in which he bathed and sank, drowning in love that he always thought would be his forever. After all that they both had together, how could he be able to banish the love of his life from his heart?

But her love belonged to someone else now, as all the magazines wrote that Anne now holds the heart of Royal Gardner. Anyone who has watched Lavender Fields could see the chemistry between them. Gilbert assumed that she must be happy without him, she had to be, with a glamorous life in Hollywood and this damn successful, handsome Royal Gardner.

"Royal, what kind of name is that anyway?" Gilbert huffed, shooting away a stone that was lying on the ground in front of him with his black leather shoes, his cold hands buried in his black winter coat, which was not exactly able to warm him.

He was sitting in the white gazebo in the church garden, which was decorated with fir garlands and red bows, spreading a Christmas mood that Gilbert could not feel, too busy thinking of Anne and Roy Gardner, whom he felt jealous of, not because he was a money-maker and a successful actor, but because it looked like he now had the key to Anne's heart. How is he supposed to live with the idea that Anne's heart is now beating for someone else?

Inhaling the crisp winter breeze, he dared a glance at the Christmas tree, which stood in the middle of the gazebo, adorned with velvet bows in the color of love, and gold stars that reminded him of how he always admired the small clusters of her milky skin, stargazing while his fingers, lips and eyes drove over the Milky Way, that he loved with his all. And of course, he missed her, he felt that more than in any other moment before, but seeing her hit him like the impact of a meteor made of stardust coming from the universe that holds all of her galaxies, just as he had held her heart for all these years, never dropping it even if she let go of his. 

The panting noises of a person and the stamping of footsteps through the crunching snow suddenly startled Gilbert, whose thoughts were everywhere except there. Sitting on the white bench of the Gazebo, his gaze began to focus on legs climbing the steps to the belvedere. When he raised his head higher he suddenly saw the one emerald green coat he would recognize among a million. There she was the love of his life who had broken his heart into a million pieces. She had found him. 

"How did you find me here?" he asked Anne, who was holding on to the wooden frame of the balustrade, having to breathe deeply after everything that had befallen her that morning and the way she left behind. 

Anne, almost breathless, took a moment to stabilize her breathing and bring it back to normal. When she connected her eyes with the magnetic force of his, gazing into his hazel orbs filled with visible pain that were holding tears caused by her, she didn't know if it was that look that broke her heart again or the fact that she understood the language of his expression so well, the emptiness in inexpressive eyes, the missing smile on his lips from which she so badly wanted to know whether after all these years they still tasted like the peppermint taste of candy canes. The cheeks that she made to blush so many times in the past were pale as chalk, colorless, as if his life had lost all the vibrant hues with which it was once painted. She shook her head, letting red wavy tresses dance in the whispering wind while she attempted to focus on the reason why she was there. 

"Call it intuition, but maybe I know you just too well to know where your hiding spots are," she said, having her hands clasp around the balustrade to keep herself from running to him because all she wanted was to pull him into her arms and then never let him go. Seeing him avoiding her gaze, she knew he wouldn't allow anything like that. Not now and maybe never. Just the thought of it was enough for her heart to bring the painful feeling that was buried in it to the surface and so pearls formed in the ocean of her eyes, which did not come from the core of seashells but from that of her being.

"Can we talk? Please, Gil, it's important?" 

Gilbert's arms were crossed over his chest as if he was trying to protect his heart, which was pounding loudly against his rib cage. Focusing his gaze on the Christmas tree, he did his best to defend himself against Anne's magnetic attraction felt by all the fibers and muscles of his body. Under no circumstances, he was ready to fall into her gravity.

"I don't think there's anything left to discuss, Anne. You made that clear enough to me when you left me." 

His words were a cracking whisper, bearing the ache that the ache in her put into his crux. The wound she had left never closed, bleeding invisible tears in the place that was always his most vulnerable, the spot for which he never gave a key other than to her, Anne, the keeper of the key to his heart.

"Gil!" She cried pleadingly. Anne hated herself for what she had done to him and although she left town because of the pain of Matthew's loss, which was so achingly weighing within her, she regretted that she didn't even try to let Gilbert in, in this painful cocoon she stepped into on that fateful winter day three years ago and has never found her way out of there ever since.

The icy wind, in which the snowflakes danced a snow waltz, whipped relentlessly into the gazebo, carrying with it a coldness similar to that found in Gilbert's words, which he addressed to her without even looking at Anne.

"I told you not to call me that. You can't just come back after years and pretend nothing had happened." There was such an ache in his utterance. His arms now hung limply down his sides, knowing that nothing could protect his heart, that he offered her willingly as a target. Sighing deeply, he dared to take the step that was once so easy for him and almost always came like second nature, as if it were a matter of course in his body that would forever feel this attraction to her. He turned his tear-filled eyes to hers, which contained the same shimmer of pain as his hazel orbs. He had to swallow, not his pain, but hers, that did something with his heart that was used to the shattering feeling by now. The pieces of his heart got a little smaller as they continued to break more and more. 

"You were my everything Anne, the love of my life, and then I had to see you get into that Taxi. You left me without an explanation. You broke my heart Anne-girl. And I'm still picking up the pieces you left behind." He cried, tears dropping from his handsome face. 

Anne tried to wipe her tears from the corner of her eye, but they didn't want to be dried. He called her by the nickname she hadn't heard coming from him in a long time. This was her breaking point. Everything had to be let out and so the liquid pearls continued to flow unstoppable from her freckled cheeks while her gaze was fixed at his colorless expression and although his face lacked the vivacity of days gone by, it was as handsome as the day she left him. Everything came up again, all the memories of Matthew and the time with Gilbert. His words hit her so hard that she almost stumbled backward, finding a hold on the balustrade, on the surface of which lay a glittering layer of fresh snow.

"I was hurt. I had just lost Matthew and everything was too much for me. The pain to live without him was just unbearable. Everything here reminded me of him. I had to go and besides, I didn't leave without an explanation. I would never do that to you. That's why I wrote you a letter in which I told you that I was going to Los Angeles to see Cole and that I needed some time to myself. I wrote to you that I love you, left the address where you could have found me but you never came." 

In this moment, her voice cracked in the same way as the broken shards of her heart, which was broken by herself, like glass dropping to the cold ground when she made the hardest decision of her life and went to L.A. "You never came, Gil." She breathed in an almost whisper, watching how his features turned to stone, telling of a kind of shock that numbed his whole constitution. 

This information was new to Gilbert, who had never received a letter and never knew why she really left, provoking doubts in him as he assumed he might not have loved her enough to persuade her to stay.

"What letter? I never got a letter." he asked seemingly shocked by that newfound information, wide-eyed gazing at Anne, whose expression looked incredulous, wrinkling her nose while she wondered if it was really possible that he had never seen her letter. 

"What?" she replied as she shook her head, not able to fathom that her note never reached him. "You must have gotten it. I'm speaking of the letter I secretly put in your jacket pocket during Matthew's funeral. I didn't have the strength to tell you personally that's why I wrote you the letter. And after I didn't hear from you after a few weeks, I called you but you just hung up. Don't you remember that?" 

Gilbert decided to get up, needing movement to somehow get rid of the rigidity that was spreading in his body. Walking on the spot, he felt this stinging in his chest, but he realized that it was necessary to expose himself to this pain, because how else could this heaviness get out of his heart that settled there with the weight of bricks? 

His curly locks tilted to the left and right as he was shaking his head. "No! Mary must have misplaced it when she gave my jacket to the wash. I can't explain it to myself any other way." Gilbert shared his assumption while he paced nervously up and down before he suddenly stopped, locking eyes with her as he walked towards Anne who leaned with her back against the white lacquered balustrade of the Gazebo, surveying him from head to toe as he came nearer to her. A few steps separated him to be very close to Anne, but he needed the distance to have space to breathe, even if it was harder for him than he thought the moment he started counting freckled stars, finding new constellations on the milky layer of her lovely face that weren't there three years ago.

"I wish I hadn't hung up the phone like I did but hearing your voice was just too much for me. When you left, not only did my heart break, but my whole world collapsed as well. I thought we would mourn Matthew's death together, as we did with my father's. I wanted to be there for you the way you were for me but instead of letting me in, you shut me out. I guess, my love just wasn't enough.

Anne could hear it, this breaking noise of his heart, knowing that sound all too well. Seeing this sadness in his hazel globes was painful mainly because it was expressed by the person who was once so happy. She wanted nothing more than a cure for his ailing heart that was just as bruised as hers but she was furious, how could Gilbert believe that his love wasn't enough for her when it was everything to her? The place in his arms was always the safest place she knew and she desired nothing more than to find her way back to them. 

Anne brushed some of the hair off her face that was stuck on the tears she shed and took a few steps towards Gilbert, to whom she had something to say that had been unspoken on her lips for years.

"Gilbert Blythe, how dare you say something like that?" The redhead started, narrowing her eyes furiously as she was in the process to gather her thoughts. She inhaled deeply, searching for the courage for everything she wanted to say to him. The time had come for her to be brave and so she started to unburden her heart, wanting to tell him that he was the best thing she ever had.

She definitely had his attention, because he stared at her, sinking into her eyes that still held all the depths as before. Somehow he had the impression that her eyes spoke for her, but then she opened her mouth, which he would have loved to caress with his.

"Your love was everything to me. I have never loved anyone more than you and I know that I can never love anyone as much as I love you. YOU were my everything and I can't tell you how much I've missed you over the years. I know I made mistakes, but my heart will always be yours alone, do you hear me, Gil? You have been my safe haven, the place where my heart is anchored for almost half of my life and you will be my greatest love for evermore."

That piercing look which she received from him spoke of something he apparently did not expect and which he found lacked credibility even though his racing heart spoke another language, discerning the truth in every word she said. Her words were all he had longed for in the past few years, but he couldn't believe them, not after all the rumors that said she was dating Roy Gardner. 

"Tell this to your Royal Gardner. He certainly won't be pleased that his girlfriend is confessing her love to someone else." He averted his gaze from her and stepped to the huge Christmas tree that was standing in the gazebo where he was untying the thread of a bow to give his hands something to do that he wanted to weave through her red hair, as he always did back then. 

Anne watched him, whispering softly, "You should know me better, Gil." 

There was so much tension in the air, made up of frustration, anger, pain but also so much love. Gilbert turned and both looked at one another, staring at the wounds they had inflicted on each other. For a few seconds, they stared into the other's eyes, consuming all the pain they held, which was injected into their veins like bad blood, only making the ache worse, the eyes moist and the knees weak, exhausting and intense lingering over both of them.

Gilbert's lips escaped a heavy sigh. His eyes rested on her face the moment he buried his hands in the pockets of his black winter coat. "To be honest, I don't know if I even know you anymore. You've been gone for so many years and all I had was your face in magazines and on TV-screens. You were no longer within my grasp. How am I supposed to know you then?" His question was accompanied by a fear of having lost everything he ever knew about her. Anne was now a famous actress, what if life in Hollywood changed her and left nothing of the Anne he once knew and loved?

Anne had had enough and closed the distance between him and herself. She tried to reach for his hand, but he flinched, withdrawing it for fear of getting used to the touch that would let go of him in the end anyway. Anne gasped as her chest tightened. In order to heal all his wounds and hers, she would have had to stop touching them, but she couldn't, and if she couldn't touch him with the tips of her fingers, then at least she wanted to try it with her words, hoping that he will be able to discern the sincerity in them.

"Because I'm your Anne, Gilbert, yours. All these years there was only you," she told him, placing her hand on her heart. In all these years she never fell out of love and never would, not if there was a chance he never did either. She hoped for it, otherwise why should he be jealous of Roy? She saw Gilbert clench his jaw when he talked about Roy, a clear indication of jealousy, after all, she knew him enough to decipher his behavior. "You were my first thought when I woke up and my last thought before going to sleep. When I had to do kissing scenes with Roy, I imagined you would stand in front of me. That was the only way I could convey the feelings credibly. Everything else are just rumors from gossip magazines that just couldn't find better headlines. Roy left his wife not for me, but for Cole. The two met and fell in love on the set of Lavender Fields. He's a really good friend of mine, but nothing more."

Staring flabbergasted at her, Gilbert scratched the back of his head. "I did not know that." 

Anne nodded, rubbing her arms to protect herself from the cold wind. The gazebo was good shelter from the December breeze and the coldness, but not enough not to feel it. "Of course not. Nobody knows about it except Cole, Roy, and me. Gil, please be honest with me. Why didn't you go to Toronto to study medicine?" 

Gilbert had to sigh, letting out the relief that Anne apparently never gave her heart to anyone else. Still, he couldn't let her get near him, not yet. But he wanted to be honest with her, after all, she was candid to him. He could see that in her eyes, in which the tears were slowly drying.

"Because I wanted to be here when you come back. All these years I've been waiting for you," he told her frankly, witnessing her lips form into an 'O' shape before she uttered the word. 

"Oh" 

"Yeah, oh," Gilbert said, tearing his gaze away as he paced anew through the Gazebo, his hands still buried in his coat pockets. He was restless just as his heart, quietly screaming out for her.

Anne wanted to scream and say it from the top of her lungs. _I love you, please love me back_. Instead, she had to remember that he never lived his dream and became a doctor and she was the reason for it. She had to gulp, only slowly beginning to realize how immense his love must have been for her.

"But you always wanted to be a doctor. That was always your biggest dream," she muttered under her breath, noticing how Gilbert shook his head vehemently as he turned and looked deep into her eyes, which were about to fill with a glimmer of hope

"Wrong, Anne," he said with a determination in his voice, raspy but melodious settling in her ears.

"My greatest dream has always been you. From the moment I saw you for the very first time, I knew that you were special. I saw your face and my whole life changed. And my heart was so full and almost about to burst when you returned my feelings. Do you remember our first kiss under the mistletoe hanging above the front door of Green Gables? I wrote you the letter in which I poured out my heart and when I was about to leave you suddenly stood there. You looked like an angel in your white lace dress, but when we kissed, I imagined you in a different white dress. In my mind's eye, I saw you as my bride standing next to me in the orchard. Exactly, Anne, I remember that you always dreamed of getting married in Green Gables' orchard. We were young but I knew you were the one for me. You were my biggest dream, Anne-girl. Everything I wanted to achieve, I wanted to share with you, but before I had the chance you were gone.

Those words were enough to unbalance her heart that couldn't stop falling for him. It would never stop loving him with everything it weighs, be it with the pain it bears or the love that was always meant for him. All that Anne's heart contains will love him till the end for the reason that what they had was and always will be a once in a lifetime love. She had problems coping with the fact that he didn't become what he should always be, a doctor who fights diseases and takes care of his patients and she hated herself for preventing him from studying medicine.

"I hate myself for getting in the way of your dreams. If I had known all of that, I would have come back sooner, but until today I was just not strong enough for that. You were born to help people and you should have been a doctor. You would be a wonderful doctor because you have always been someone who cared deeply for other people. I will never forgive myself for preventing you from doing it." She let him know, her words filled with genuine. 

Although his eyes looked empty, there she still saw the flickering fire that once lit and which so often warmed her. Gilbert's expression softened as he took a few steps towards her. Three years of pent-up frustration and feelings could finally be let out on this cool Sunday morning and as painful as everything was, there was also something liberating about it.

"It's just like it is Anne-girl. We can't turn back time anymore. It's long too late for that. Besides, who says I have to be a doctor to help others?" 

"May I ask what happened to you? I mean how do you live now? What do you work as? I have so many questions for you. But I don't want to force you to answer me," Anne retorted inquiringly, looking shyly to the side when she realized how close Gilbert was suddenly to her.

It was this attraction that was simply nothing to counteract that drew him onto her radar. For the first time since they stood in the gazebo, Gilbert smiled, well, it was more of a grin than the smile she knew from him and Anne wondered when his winning smile began to look like a smirk. Anyway, she was glad to even see that there was something that was able to lift his lips, not knowing that she was the reason for it.

Gilbert had to clear his throat. "Well, I'm a biology teacher at our old high school. Bash and Mary now have a young daughter. Her name is Delphine and she is the cutest two-year-old girl ever." There it was, the winning smile she longed to see and she couldn't help but smile as well.

"I have a small apartment close to the school. There are no children, no wife, and no girlfriend. After you, there was never anyone else, Anne-girl."

Maybe love doesn't make sense, but maybe it doesn't have to. Everything was so nonsensical for Anne, but if she can love him from afar for three years, maybe there was really the possibility that he loved her from a distance as well, without ever giving his heart to another woman. Probably the distance between the two only made their love for each other grow stronger albeit they did not know that the other's heart knows only their name after all the years. Anne forgot to breathe for a short moment when their eyes met, nothing has ever stolen her breath like those hazel eyes in which she found her home again, the warm fire that burned only for her, although he could have warmed so many others with it. 

"Why not? You could have had anyone, Gil. Why did you stay alone?"

Clenching his hands, he turned around, not having the strength to tell her what he had to say to her face to face. The words he addressed to her were a low whisper that was almost inaudible when his voice faltered. 

"Because I never wanted anyone but you." 

All the years in which every piece of her ached for him, all the nights in which she closed her eyes and talked to the same moon as he suddenly felt no longer so painful, but much more like a silent conversation between two hearts that spoke the same language, telling of a love over distance that neither of them knew was felt by each other with the same intensity. That hole in her heart, where he used to be, felt those stitches digging through her heart walls, but maybe it was the needle through which this invisible string was threaded that stuffed the hole again and will always tie him to her simply because it is the string that connects his heart to hers.

Anne didn't know how to answer him and so a silence fell between the two of them. Sighing deeply, Gilbert decided to look at Anne, unclenching his fists that rested on his thighs as the blue moon in her eyes collided with the warm sun in his. They stood there and said nothing and even if they did not touch skin to skin, they touched heart to heart, being a part of the eclipse of a love that waited three years for this moment. The two stared into each other's depths, saying nothing but that nothing was enough for both of them because it was this nothing that meant everything to them.

It was Anne who cleared her throat and put an end to the moment. "Uhm, you are a teacher and an uncle?" she asked awkwardly, not knowing what to say otherwise. Anne had no choice but to change the subject. Everything that happened and was said was too loaded, holding an intense and heavy weight that could be the turning point that she hoped for but did not dare to approach right now.

"Hmm." Gilbert hummed, getting lost in her blue eyes. 

He stared at Anne intensely. His gaze wandered over her whole face, contemplating the blue of the ocean in which he wanted to drown as once in her love. He admired the stars on the Milky Way and saw the hill in midst of her pretty face, brought to perfection by its maker, and then his gaze settled on the two soft cushions that reminded of fluffy clouds in the sky into which his lips wanted so much to sink. But he couldn't, not after everything that had happened between them. The expulsion of his breath contained all the despair he felt meeting the cold winter air that surrounded the church garden. Anne was so close and yet so far and it was driving him crazy. All he wanted was to pull her into his arms and hold her for as long as she would allow. 

He tried to smile as he chose his next words carefully, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm doing what you wanted to do before you went to L.A., and became a famous Hollywood star. You always wanted to become a teacher and shape the minds of the younger generation. I just wanted to live your dream for you. I know you, Anne and I know which of your smiles are real ones and which are fake. And in the past few years, I've seen way too many forced ones. You weren't with me, but deep in my heart, I knew you weren't happy. Am I right or are you happy with your life, Anne-girl?" 

Anne was not a bit surprised that Gilbert recognized her masquerade in front of the headlights. He was always the only soul who could always tell which smile she faked. She knew herself that there have been far too many forced smiles in the last few years that never ignited the glow in her eyes like a real one would. And it was true, before Anne became an actress, her greatest wish was to become a teacher, to accompany young people on their way into adult life and not only teach them vocabulary and forms, but show them new perspectives. Gilbert's confession left her visibly speechless. Her mouth was wide open while she was looking for words that weren't easy to find. 

"I don't know what to say." Her words left her mouth in a stutter but she wanted, no she needed to tell him the truth of her heart. So she walked closer to him. This time he allowed her to reach for his hand, which gave off the familiar warmth that dipped into her epidermis and almost lifted her feet off the wooden floor. It was this feeling of flying that she still knew from the moment he held her hand for the first time, after winning the field hockey school championship, standing under the bleachers, the place where they had met. The way they stood together under the gazebo had a bit of the feeling from back then, the sensation of their pounding hearts as if they were 14 years old, only that they now knew what love feels like. Almost ten years later after their first meeting both knew that it was always more than a teenage love between the two. Anne's heart was at home, it was always in safe haven whenever he was holding her hands.

"You say you'd live my dream but do you want to know what I'm really dreaming of? You, Gil. I dream of you because there is nothing I want more than you. If I only had one wish free for this Christmas, then I would wish you back in my life. Because how am I supposed to be happy without you?... Can you tell me, Gil? For me, luck always had only one name, yours. You were my greatest happiness so tell me how to be happy when I don't have you with me? Do you want to know what I am most afraid of? To have lost your love. I can live without so many things, but not without the feeling that I had when I still knew I was loved by you."

It was so hard for her to breathe as the tears, which had almost dried, made their way back to the surface. The glistening drops that she cried fell from her eyes but they were formed in her heart where all the love was rooted which it only harbored for him. Still holding his hand, she was overcome by this fear that suddenly shot through her veins like lightning, hitting the essence of her being with such a force that she thought she would collapse any moment. What if she had lost his love? All the pain overwhelmed Anne, who wanted to flee into his arms, to the safety of his strength and never to step out again. It was the hardest thing she ever did to leave him even though she loved him. And all she felt now was remorse and the feeling of having lost him with her actions. She knew now that he was waiting for her and never loved anyone else, but whether that also meant that his love for her never wavered, she did not know, and she did not dare to dream of that either. 

When Gilbert saw how the heart of glass shattered, that only beats for him, his own pain came to light, which weighed so deep that he had the feeling that he would never get rid of it. As much as he would have loved to hold onto her, her love, which he saw in her fragility, and her, whom he wanted to hold and kiss from now until forever, he let go of her little hand, seeing how her eyes filled with more and more tears when his touch was no longer tactile to her. 

Gilbert couldn't stand looking into her face any longer, which is why he turned around and started to leave the Gazebo. Everything was far too much in this instant. When he got up that morning, he assumed he would have a normal Sunday, going to church and then spending time with his family, but that Sunday was one that turned out to be a little martyrdom for him, fraught with pain and tears, love and hope, which was just plain confusing and exhausting to him.

He avoided looking at her again for fear of crossing the line he was so compulsively trying to draw between them. She will always be his weakness, but he wasn't ready to give in to it. For now, all he needed was time to figure out his feelings and to be really ready to let her into the heart that was afraid of being left by her again if he would allow her to enter it. 

"As if I would ever be able to stop loving you." 

The words he whispered were drowned out by Anne's sobbing noises that echoed through the Gazebo she was still standing in as he stood on the last step that led out of it, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his black pants. He looked over his shoulder, watching Anne try to wipe her tears away with the scarf that was wrapped around her neck. 

"Give me time, Anne-girl. I have to deal with the fact that you are back first. Can you do this for me?" He informed her, lifting his right upper arm to his eye to get rid of his own tears with the fabric of his winter coat.

Her sobs subsided as Anne nodded, her red hair cascading over her shoulders in a vibrant contrast to the deep green color of her winter coat. "Yeah, I think I can do that. After all, I owe this to you after surprising you by showing up. You still have your old phone number, don't you? Do you think I can call or write to you" 

She looked expectantly into hazel eyes, which held a tearful glimmer. All Anne had was the hope to be able to pull him back into her life and she tried to hold onto this glimmer of hope with all her might, because if she didn't have that anymore, then she knew everything would be lost.

Gilbert just shrugged his shoulders, secretly trying to stifle a smile that wanted to be let out. It was good for him to know that it looked like she wasn't going to give up fighting for him.

"All you can do is try, Anne-girl. Miracles don't happen overnight. We'll see if your Christmas wish comes true." He turned to leave and jumped off the last step into the snow, witnessing how Mother Nature let the kisses of winter descend from white clouds that resembled cotton candies. When he heard Anne's soft voice, calling his name, he stopped, standing in the snow that was so high that it covered his black leather boats.

"What do you want for Christmas, Gil?" She called after him, standing on the step of the Gazebo, her blue eyes fixed on his rearview.

For one last time, he looked over his shoulder and with it into the face that he had seen in his dreams for three years and had missed so much. "My wish has already come true."

It was all he said before he built a growing distance between her without saying goodbye to Anne, trudging through the snow until he eventually disappeared in the middle of the snow shower. Everything in Anne screamed 'run after him' but she didn't, wanting to give him time to process everything. What she could not see when Gilbert left was the smile on his lips that only she could induce from him, making the light in hazel eyes shine again as she brought the winning smile back to the face of the young man who had received his Christmas present from her even though she didn't know that. And all Anne could do was wonder the moment she was looking into the distance in which Gilbert could no longer be seen, asking herself if he still had enough love in him to grant her her Christmas wish, hoping for her Christmas miracle as she made her way back to the church.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. In the next chapter Anne gets an unexpected visit and who knows, maybe there will be a Christmas miracle for her


	3. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bash turns out to be the greatest Shirbert shipper. Anne receives unexpected help decorating Green Gables' Christmas tree. Shirbert is simping for each other. This is a chapter full of hope, forgiveness and a lot of mutual attraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, dear readers. This chapter consists of almost 15k words full of Shirbert. After the angst of the last chapter, this is more hopeful. 
> 
> Enjoy reading and feel free to leave a comment. I would like to hear your thoughts on this. I'm always open to constructive criticism, but please keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue!

Two days had passed, two long days that made Anne ponder, questioning and doubtful thinking of the one who never left her consciousness and now occupied it all the more. But that wasn't a new circumstance considering that for the past three years she hadn't been thinking about anything but him, always wondering how he is doing and whether he's thinking about her at the same time. The encounter between her and Gilbert did not leave Anne without a trace, who for the past two days could only think about the one who held her heart. Hours and minutes that passed in an excruciatingly slow rhythm were spent by her dreaming of hazel eyes and that glimmer of hope in them that she discerned in that intense moment under the Gazebo where they had unburden their hearts to each other. His eyes held the same hopeful expression her eyes also carried, this feeling that there might still be a chance to win him back. Anne knew it now that even if the pain of the past three years was plagued by agony, she would endure it again, as long as it would mean to be back with Gilbert in the end, to arrive where her place is in life, at the side by Gilbert Blythe. She was certain that she would choose him over and over again, he just had to want it, but with the silver lining she saw on the horizon, doubts still arose. What if it was too late for both of them? What if the heart that was once hers no longer wants to hold her in it? A minute, a split second, everything he would be willing to give her she would take without thinking, every chance to circle in Gilbert's cosmos, to be near him and to inhale his perfume that smells of apples, peppered with a note of cinnamon and musk, the smell of home, that his strong arms were for her over all the years she had with him, and into which she longed to fall, to land in the warmth that his body gives off, all this would be enough for her. For the last time, all of her hungered for was the pleasant sensory expression that was just always Gilbert, the warmness that was produced for her by the blood that flows through his veins, kindling the fire in him, whose flames always rose in heights, writing a name with its smoke in the sky that had four letters. One last time she wanted to make it into his heart and then never leave it again.

Anne didn't hear from Gilbert after the conversation last Sunday morning, but it was okay for her, at least she promised him to give him time to collect his feelings. The redhead didn't need this time herself, she had the certainty of being clear about her feelings and knowing one hundred percent that he will always be the only thing that she needs in her life to be happy. There were brief moments of happiness after him, the Emmy nomination was one, but that happiness was dwindling and gone as quickly as she felt it, only being able to lift her lips for a moment, expressing pride over the success that she had achieved in Hollywood in such a short time. She always felt the greatest happiness in her life because of Gilbert and she missed it, that honest smile that he brought out of her, even in the simplest moments. But those were the things that made her most happy, the little things in life she shared with him, a kiss on the tip of her nose, reading together while her head rested in his lap, and everything that made their relationship to that what it was, her home and the parachute that helped her to land in the soft cushion of his heart that she loved as much as his loved her. Only his love was responsible for the fact that she once had so many reasons to smile. The smile she missed so much had long been a foreign feeling for her face that had almost got used to pretending joy where there was none. One of her greatest wishes was to find the smile that comes from her heart and reaches her eyes, but to get that she had to hope for Gilbert's forgiveness, he alone can lift her lips and make her heart jump. Only Gilbert has the ability to make her eyes shine, as if he were holding a match in his hand, so that it could ignite the flickering in her blue eyes and therefore she hoped for her own little Christmas miracle, him and his love that she saw in hazel eyes when they collided with hers under the Gazebo, surrounded by thousands winter's kisses.

In addition to all the thoughts of Gilbert, there was now the fact that Matthew's third anniversary of death was approaching and Anne did not know how she was going to get through this day in the place where everything reminded her about him. The memory of him and his death was just everywhere, palpable as a gap deep within her, in all rooms of the farmhouse and the whole small town. Matthew was just everywhere she went, even if it was just the thought and the memory of him, chasing Anne like a ghost that would not let her go. As much as she wanted to hold onto him, she wanted to be able to let go anyway, at least get rid of the pain that just didn't want to decrease. In the last few years she could distract herself from everything with work or glitzy Hollywood parties, although only for a while, but she was far from the place where he left her, but now she was exactly in this place, in the house, where he took his last breath, right where his weak, sick heart lost its rhythm. And she didn't know how to get through tomorrow, the day Matthew left this earth forever. How was she supposed to spend this day where she looked into his blue eyes for the last time and had to let go of his hand for the rest of her life.

Dressed in her knee-length black silk nightgown over which she wore a dressing gown made of the same fabric, she sat at the dark brown wooden table in the kitchen, the sun illuminating the room in an amber glow on this fine winter day, dancing on the white wallpapered walls while Anne rested her head in her hands and stared blankly at the place at the end of the table, which was always Matthew's. 

"I miss you, Matthew." It was her whisper that sounded through the kitchen where only her words and the dripping water that came out of the faucet could be heard. Marilla had set out for the Lynde's on that December morning so shortly before Christmas, leaving Anne alone in the house that kept Matthew's imprints in every corner and every room. "You would know what to do. Oh, my dear Matthew, have I lost Gilbert? Can't you give me a sign so I know if it's worth fighting? Just one sign, that's all I'm asking for." Anne leaned back in her chair, the legs of which squeaked on the wooden floor of the room the moment she wanted to create some space between her body and the table before she leaned forward and rested her head on the wooden surface of it, burying her face between her arms as she compulsively attempted to block out the world around her. She wasn't able to bear the silence in the house that was once so full of merry chatter and laughter. Outside, the wind blew through the bare branches of her dear Snow Queen and Anne had the impression that she heard Matthew's voice, whispering reassuring words that came along with the cool winter breeze. "Have patience, my love. Everything will be fine." It may have been her imagination, which was always very big and imaginative, but she heard his voice clearly and distinctly, as if he was standing behind her, his hands with the protection of a father who wanted to take care of his daughter resting on her shoulders, which twitched when a gust of wind swept through the tilted kitchen window.

That was the moment, she started doing what she had done so often since arriving in Avonlea. She began to weep, shedding tears on the table as she let out all the pain that weighed so heavily on her heart. During the last few days, she had the feeling that she would never be able to stop crying, because again and again a new memory came up that formed a lump in her throat, which painfully drowned her words there, which were now spoken with the help of her tears. 

She cried for some minutes, some tears were silent ones while others were accompanied by an ache that she let out with audible sobs and painful gasps. Her loud whimper drowned out the noise in front of the house where a car had arrived, the engine roaring loudly through the Green Gables grounds, having to work hard considering the Canadian winter temperatures. That December 22nd was a frosty day. From Green Gable's roof and the branches of the trees that fenced the farm hung crystal-clear icicles, shimmering in the daylight like silver diamonds, cut from ice. The meadows and pastures were covered with a white winter blanket, which glittered on the ground just as it did in the heights of all the treetops where the rays of the sun reflected the glittering snowflakes. It was the magical picture of a winter wonderland, seeming surreal as if it were a winter scene of a snow globe. From the fluffy clouds in the light blue firmament, feather-like kisses of winter descended on Avonlea, which mother nature sent to earth to present the Earthlings, the beauty of the coldest season and, as it seemed, to give them a joyous anticipated white Christmas.

Only the booming knocking on the green lacquered front door of the farmhouse ended the red-haired actress' emotional outburst. Anne wondered in surprise who was making their way to Green Gables that snowy morning. Could it be that this might be the sign she was hoping for? 

While she wiped the tears from the corner of her eye with the knuckles of her two index fingers, she got up from the hard wooden chair on which she was sitting, tying her black dressing gown made of the finest silk before she glanced in the mirror that was hanging on the wall in the hallway, checking her appearance, simply for the reason that the last thing she did wanted was to come across as an emotional wreck in front of the person standing in front of the farm's main entrance. With her right hand, she ran through her tousled hair, trying a fake smile until she found one that looked almost believable. "Who could it be?" She thought in a low whisper just as there was another knock on the wooden front of the entrance, causing her to sigh heavily. 

"I am on the way," she called, even if she didn't know if the person on the other side of the door could even hear her. Her voice was shaky and weak, afflicted by the pain of the tears she wept earlier. Opening the door, she surprisingly had to face someone familiar, a person she didn't expect there. 

"Good morning, Anne of Green Gables. It's been a while since we last saw each other!" Sebastian Lacroix's sunny smile greeted her on this cold winter morning, which had the ability to make the early hours a little warmer when Anne saw the warmth in Bash's expression. She always assumed that he must hate her for breaking Gilbert's heart. To see him so merrily took her by surprise, given that she would never have expected to be approached by Bash in such a way. 

"Blythe told me that you found your way back home. It's really good to see you. We all missed you very much."

Anne was visibly astounded not only to see Bash but also to hear that Gilbert apparently talked with him about her. She would have loved to ask him what Gilbert said exactly, but she refrained from that, being a little scared of Bash's answer. The question she secretly asked herself was if Gilbert was happy about her visit to her hometown, or whether he didn't rather wish she had never come back. In the past, he was always like an open book to her, but when he met her last Sunday, he seemed to do everything possible not to reveal his feelings about her unexpected visit to Avonlea. Anne came to the conclusion that he was afraid of letting her in and then having to let her go again. The center of her life is now Los Angeles, a fact that would complicate matters if Gilbert were willing to give her one last chance. But she didn't want to think that far yet, that would only destroy the hope she had. 

However, in the end, her curiosity won out and so she asked the question that was on her mind. "Gilbert told you about our meeting?" She was freezing in the wintry coldness of that early December morning, only clad in her sleeping clothes whilst she was standing in the doorway waiting for Bash to answer, whose lips held a knowing grin. 

"Anne, he has been waiting for you to come back for years. Do you really think he can keep this to himself for a long time? Besides, there is no other topic for the whole town than your reunion. You two gave the people quite a show in church on Sunday."

Bash saw the hue of Anne's cheeks match that of her hair. It was clearly uncomfortable for her to be the chosen topic of the town's gossip. Rubbing her arms, she tried a smile, determined to change the subject when she wanted to know what led Bash to Green Gables. Anne shifted her tired gaze to the bearded man in front of her, a cheery smile dancing on his lips. All the thoughts and feelings regarding Gilbert and the longing to weave her delicate fingers through the curly structure of his hair, to leave tiny kisses on his face and all over the parts of his body to which he would allow her access, were the reason why she had suffered massive sleep deprivation the last two nights. Instead of getting rest, she spent the nightly hours losing herself in waking dreams, a world in which he was still hers. Her dreams were comforting and a valued place to which she could travel with her thoughts and where there was no heartache. The sad thing was that it was only a figment of her imagination that only made the longing and desire for him grow.

Shaking her head, she wanted to remove Gilbert from her mind, at least for the moment, to be able to focus on Bash, who was busy giving himself a little warmth, blowing into his hands which were warmed by dark blue woolen gloves. As it looked to Anne, however, his gloves couldn't give him enough protection from the cold, at least not as much as Bash might have hoped. She giggled, amused by his antics and glad that he was still as easy to talk to as it had been in all the years. He could have left and come back later, not needing to talk to her, the person who was trampling on Gilbert's heart. But he stayed to meet her with the kindness and serenity that made him the loveable person he is and with which he addressed her all the years before. She never realized how many people missed her, and knowing that she was loved enough by some to be missed felt like a warm balm for her gashes that will never fully heal but as she thought in this instant may be able to fade away someday.

"It's really nice to see you, Bash. I have missed all of you very much in recent years. I think you probably know how hard Matthew's death hit me. His loss was so painfully hard that I had no choice but to leave Avonlea. Everything here reminded me of him and I hope that one day you can forgive me for breaking Gilbert's heart, even if it happened involuntarily. I left him a letter that, as it turned out, he never saw." The words she directed at him were accompanied with a heavy sigh but also with a genuine smile that reached her eyes in which a glimmer shone. It felt liberating for her cheeks to hold a smile that wasn't causing her muscles to cramp. Even though that smile was a slight smile, it was one that was shaped by her heart. 

Sebastian nodded understandingly, his previously cheerful-looking eyes now held an expression of sorrow. "Matthew's death was difficult for all of us. I know how much you loved him and I can understand that everything here reminds you of his death, but we would have been there for you. You could have shared your pain with us, maybe then everything would have been a little easier for you."

"I know and I'm really grateful for that, but I couldn't do that back then. It wasn't just this place that reminded me of the loss, but also the people. Many of you had to deal with Matthew's death yourself. I didn't want to be a burden to you too," she replied Sebastian, who had enclosed his torso with his arms, warming the upper region of his biceps with his hands while he tried to flee from the cold and the hissing gust of wind that came along with the icy breeze, which swept over Green Gables, coming from the southeast direction.

Anne, who was freezing herself, wearing only slippers, her thin nightgown and dressing gown, apparently wanted to return to the heated rooms oft Green Gables as soon as possible. So she came to the decision to direct the subject to Sebastian's actual reason for his visit, hoping not to have to be exposed to the cold wind for too long. She loved winter, just like all the other seasons, but everything would be nicer with the right clothes for the weather.

"May I ask what brings you to Green Gables in this weather? You hate it when it snows. I could never understand your hatred of winter. Winter hides so much beauty and magic. When the snow quietly descends from the clouds to the earth, I sometimes have the feeling that the world has stopped for a moment. Everything seems calmer and purer when it snows. It's just beautiful. "

Seeing old Anne, whom he always appreciated and loved as if she were part of his family, elicited a hearty laugh from Sebastian. "Oh, I missed your view of the world, Queen Anne. It's the Canadian cold that I hate. It's just not for someone who grew up in the warm climate of Trinidad. But now let me tell you why I'm here. We bring you your Christmas tree, which Marilla chose from our Christmas tree farm yesterday." He informed Anne with a bright smile on his face. 

For Anne, however, it was news to learn that Bash grows Christmas trees and sells them during the Christmas season. "Marilla didn't tell me about that. She must have forgotten that, but it doesn't matter. You can bring the tree into the house if you want. After all, you know your way around well enough." Anne saw that he didn't have a tree with him yet, but assumed that it was still on the loading area of the truck that Sebastian had parked a few meters from the house, and on the back of which she saw a pile of fir trees when she let her gaze wander in the direction of it. 

Due to the bitterly cold of that morning, Anne wanted to get back to the warm house quickly. So she went back inside and concluded that Sebastian would follow her with the tree. Anne didn't see the man in question grin before opening his mouth. "My assistant will bring the tree into your house. Should it be brought back to the parlor? Up until now, you've always had your Christmas tree there, if I'm not mistaken." 

"Marilla would not allow anything else. Her sparkling clean floors are her sanctuary. One must have mercy on those who dare to pollute them." 

Bash heard Anne giggle in the parlor. Hearing how the giggles of the young woman who had suffered so much pain in the past echoed through the parlor made him somehow happy. Like so many who knew Anne well enough, he too could imagine how much she must have been in search of happiness in recent years, which he knew she would only find in her hometown, there, where the young man lives who will always hold her heart, even if she might not truly believe it.

"Your wish is my command, Queen Anne." His Trinidadian accent reverberated a last time through the hallway and then he turned to get the Christmas tree Marilla had brought. Freezing from the winter weather, he trudged through the deep snow as he made his way to the red truck that Anne knew once belonged to Gilbert. She wondered if it was still in Gilbert's possession, imagining that Bash had borrowed the car because it may be helpful for him in order to deliver the Christmas trees. Anne, waiting in the parlor for the fir greenery, suddenly heard low whispers outside the front door, an obvious conversation between Bash and the person she assumed must be Sebastian's helper.

"I can't go in there, Bash. She'll think I sent you out because I'm too cowardly to face her." The voice that Anne would recognize among a million made her heart skip a beat. It was unmistakably the melodious sound of Gilbert's soothing tonality, which used to talk and sing her to sleep, sounding more gently than a lullaby through her ears, into which he whispered the three words every time before going to bed, which she longed so much to hear spoken out of his mouth anew. Standing behind the white-painted door of the parlor her curiosity was piqued, and although Marilla had always told her it was impolite to eavesdrop on other people, she couldn't help it. She stilled for a moment, trying to be as quiet as possible while hearing Bash chuckle.

"Blythe, you moke. Go in there now and bring your sweetheart the tree. Be a man, get her back, and don't tell me you're not thinking of conquering her heart for a second time. Damn Blythe you probably don't even have to do much. She was crazy about you when you were together and my intuition tells me that she still adores you the same way you adore her. I saw it in your eyes when you told me she was back in Avonlea. You love her and no one can tell me otherwise. So now take the damn tree and tell her how you feel about her. Believe me when I tell you that one day you will thank me for it. "

For a moment Anne forgot to breathe. The excitement over Bash's words took away the air that got stuck somewhere and couldn't be breathed out of her. To avoid losing the ground under her feet, she reached for the side of the door. She had to hold on to something, otherwise she would be lifted into spheres that she did not yet dare to enter, not as long as she did not hear from Gilbert himself that he still loves her.

Gilbert just sighed, swinging the Christmas tree that was leaning against the house facade over his shoulder. "What exactly will I be thankful for someday? You just toss me in the cold water without warning and then you think I should thank you for it. I don't think so, Bash." He rolled his eyes, not exactly keen on Bash's idea, which could either end in disaster or could turn out to be the best idea the man who was like a brother to Gilbert ever had.

"Listen, Blythe! Don't you understand that I'm doing you a favor? I'll give you some alone time with Anne, so have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Sebastian squeezed Gilbert's shoulder as a sign of encouragement before he shamelessly winked at him, and headed for the truck, leaving Gilbert puzzled on the step in front of Green Gables' main door, who watched with his mouth wide agape as the farmer drove away in his truck, who also had the audacity to wave at him with a grin stuck to his face as he drove past him.

"But Bash, how am I supposed to get home?" Gilbert called after him, hoping that Bash would hear him who was almost at the farm's gateway. Somehow, the hazel-eyed young man had luck because his call moved the elder to hit the brakes as he came to a halt in front of Green Gables' gates. Opening the car window, he yelled across the yard, "You are young and fit, Blythe. Use your legs and walk home." With these words said, Sebastian set off to deliver the other Christmas trees, while Gilbert didn't know what to do.

* * *

"World-class!" Gilbert sarcastically muttered under his breath, turning around after inhaling the icy winter air as he sought the courage to help him enter the house he seldom entered in the past three years. After Anne's departure, there was no longer any reason to visit this house in which he had experienced so many things with her. Of course, there were mandatory visits for Marilla. She suffered at least as much from the fact that Anne was no longer there as he was. But he never spent more than an hour at Green Gables, where everything reminded him of the love of his life, and the place where he confessed his love to her. Green Gables was so much more to him than just an old farmhouse. When Anne lived there it was always a second home for him, where he was welcome whenever he had the desire for a visit. Exactly where he stood now, in the frame of the front door, he and she kissed for the very first time under a mistletoe. That was almost six years ago and he wished for nothing more than to be able to press his lips against hers again. He missed the feeling of her tender lips on his, this tickling of her breath and the dance between his and her tongue, which was always intense enough to steal the air to breathe. Up in her room, he lost his virginity to her and made love to her countless times afterward with his mind, body, and soul. He loved her with everything he had to give her, but most of all he loved her with his heart that was now pounding unstoppably against his thorax, indicating that it never stopped loving her after all.

In the end, it was the fond object of his affection who got him to come into the house, leaning against the door frame of the parlor, propping one foot on the frame while she had her hands crossed behind her back. The sight of her knocked Gilbert the air out of his lungs as his gaze wandered from white fluffy slippers to the milky creamy surface of her well-toned bare legs. From there, his gaze led to just above her knees, around which the silky fabric of her nightgown and the matching dressing gown was wrapped around her skin, his Milky Way that always offered the most beautiful sight at the stars. The alluring black silk material hugged her curves perfectly, as well as her hips, which he wanted to press against him, and those perfect round breasts in which he wanted to bury his face in order to hear her heartbeat very close to him, the rhythm that always played the melody of their love for each other. She looked like his own goddess of love, Aphrodite, whose attraction was undeniable. His rough hands twitched, sensing the urge to run the tips of his fingers through her red hair that fell in gentle waves from her slender shoulders, shining like a fire on a dark night, a vibrant contrast to the black fabric of her dressing gown, which together with everything she wore underneath he would have loved to tear off her body in order to show her how much he missed her in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years in which he had to live without her love. And although an angel was standing in front of him, he could not say exactly whether he was in heaven or not rather in hell. Everything in him was getting hot, and it was only Anne and his hormones, which were going crazy, to blame.

"Good morning, Gil. Of all possible people, I would have least expected to see you here. But come in first. You can bring the tree into the parlor, but please take care of the floor. You know how Marilla can be when someone leaves dirt on the freshly cleaned floor. "

_I can imagine some dirty things on the floor._ Of course, he didn't speak his thoughts out loud, but damn how much he would have wished that everything between him and her would have been the same as it was back then, then he could have done everything with her that he could only dream of now.

The sweetness of her voice, which he hadn't heard in the last few years but with which his heart had daily conversations, did something to him as it caused a feeling deep in his stomach that he hadn't felt for a long time. He could feel how the butterflies, which had been in a firm hibernation for three years, in which he too had nothing to feel but an aching type of cold, opened their wings wide and fluttered against his rib cage. It was at that moment that he knew that only Anne could remind him of what butterflies feel like because she was the only person who could ever make them fly. That beat in his heart that started racing faster as soon as he laid his eyes on her sounded like her. It always sounded like her, the red-haired beauty in which he could see the pain that carried her heart, but whose brokenness and vulnerability only made him love her even more, not because he thought she was weak, but because he saw in her a strength that he could only admire. He didn't know where he stood with Anne but he figured that this morning might be the best opportunity to find out.

Anne went ahead, not being able to see how Gilbert did nothing more than nod and swallow hard, having to witness how her hips and her buttocks, clad in the smooth fabric of silk, swayed to the right and left with every step she took. This attraction, which was not just sexual in nature and came much more from the gravity of her being, which acted like a magnetic pull on him, drove Gilbert crazy. No other woman has ever managed to arouse him as much as she does and not only with regard to her body language, but with everything she did, her intelligence and her kindness, this heart that beats in her chest and carries so much love that he has always wondered how it can contain all of this without bursting with the burden.

"Shall I put the tree here?" he asked in a rather shy way, pointing the tip of his nose at the place by the window where the Christmas tree was always to be found in the years when he celebrated Christmas with the Cuthbert's. Anne tried to lock her eyes with his, but he deliberately avoided her gaze because he was afraid of losing control of himself and his emotions if he were to be captivated by her mesmerizing blue orbs. She always managed to put a spell on him and he knew all too well the danger of never finding his way out of it. This enchanting effect worked from the day he saw her for the first time in the corridors of high school and he was sure that Anne must be a mythical creature that was out of this world, not when she had the power to throw his life upside down in such a way that his world shifted as she became a part of it.

"Hmm!" Anne only hummed in response, realizing that he wanted to escape her gaze. Secretly she wondered if she had done something wrong. Gilbert seemed tense and she questioned if she was the reason for the state he was in. Roaming the room with her eyes, her gaze came to a halt at Matthew's ancient secretary desk made of mahogany wood. "But wait a minute. I have to get the stand for the Christmas tree first."

“Oh, okay!"

He had his strong arms wrapped around the piece of fir greenery that he wanted to throw to the ground to have them free for her. All he desired was to reach for her, enclose her in his warm embrace, and never let her go again. Her feet slid across the smooth parquet floor as she made her way to Matthew's old desk, under which the Christmas tree stand was standing, which Marilla had already stored there in preparation, as well as two large cardboard boxes which, as Anne knew, contained the decoration for the tree.

"The tree seems pretty tall." Anne tried some small talk, not wanting an uncomfortable silence to spread in the room. There was already enough tension in the parlor that Anne didn't know how to classify it. It was in no way discomforting, but much more crackling, like a bonfire that is just about to ignite and the heat release of which could already be felt, although the wood was first scorching and no flames were visible. Perhaps it was just the fire of their love that ignited and was never extinguished. The blaze in her heart always flickered for him, and all she wanted was to melt in the warmth of his touch that once branded her forever, with the tips of his fingers writing his name on her skin, which reached down to the depths of her heart that will bear his name for a lifetime. Everything she was made of ached for him, and if there was an ache that she was sure she would feel forever, it was the one for him.

In the meantime, Gilbert lifted his eyes to the Colorado fir tree, which was almost taller than himself, his fingers playing with the net in which the tree was wrapped, trying to keep them from reaching out to her at all costs, because that was basically everything he wanted, to feel her in his arms and hands, which had been waiting for the moment for three years to be allowed to touch her again. And even if his hand was held by hers last Sunday, it was not enough for him. He wanted more, but he didn't know if he would ever get it for another time.

"Marilla picked a splendid specimen. That was the most beautiful tree we had. We were a bit surprised that she bought a tree this year, but it makes sense now that you're back. After all these years, she has finally a reason to celebrate Christmas again."

His words surprised Anne, who wasn't sure what to do with them. Suddenly she wondered how Marilla must have celebrated Christmas in the years she was gone, without Matthew and herself in the big and empty farmhouse. "Gil!" She started trying to get his attention, which she always had, even when he didn't dare look her in the face.

“Yeah, Anne-girl?”

Hearing her nickname spoken from his lips did something to her. It was that raspy voice that almost cracked as the words escaped his kissable cushions, coloring her cheeks a red that burned like hot magma on her skin, dipping into her pores from where it warmed her entire body. "Can you tell me how Marilla celebrated Christmas in the last few years when I was not here? I'm almost ashamed to have to say that, but I never thought about it. She must have been so lonely in this house without Matthew and me."

Anne decided to use the time she was waiting for his answer to fetch the Christmas tree stand and so she bent down to take the stand for the tree out from under the secretary desk. Gilbert meanwhile made every effort not to pay any attention to the way her nightgown raised higher and exposed even more of the skin that he wanted to cover with thousands of kisses. But he had no success with that, his gaze fixed on her bare thighs, which he wanted to caress with his fingers and tickle with the tip of his tongue. 

"Pull yourself together, Blythe." He admonished himself in a whisper that he hoped she wouldn't hear, but he had to admit that the voice in his head sounded more like Bash's than his own. Annoyed by his own behavior, he rolled his eyes. She asked him a serious question and all he could think of was her bare skin and his fingers and lips that wanted to blanket the Milky Way on which tiny stars spread, wishing to trace every cluster and to express his admiration with his lips while he leaves kisses of love on the smooth layer of her physique. Only Anne managed to make him feel like he was a pubescent teenager who was just beginning to discover the virtues and qualities of the opposite sex.

He exhaled exhausted, getting rid of the frustration that had built up inside him and that had to be let out before he exploded. Anne stood leaning against the antique bureau, holding in her hands the stand for the tree that she was looking at, which was so old that Gilbert could see from a distance the paint slowly peeling off. Gilbert knew he owed her an answer to her question, but he knew just as well that she wouldn't like what he had to tell her. He swallowed, sighing heavily as he searched for the right words that he couldn't find and instead saw no other option than to bring the painful truth into the light.

"Anne-girl, that may be hard for you to hear now, but in the last three years, Marilla has never celebrated Christmas. She turned down all invitations on the excuse that Christmas is a festival that is celebrated with the family, and she didn't want to be a burden for other people. But now she has you and I have not seen her as happy as yesterday when she bought the Christmas tree from us. You brought her back the happiness and joy of Christmas. You alone are Marilla's Christmas miracle that she herself might not have thought would come true this year."

While her eyes filled with tears, Anne approached the Christmas tree and thus Gilbert, who was still holding it, slowly being able to perceive the loss of strength in his arms, and just waiting to be relieved. She placed the metal object on the floor, giving Gilbert the opportunity to lift the fir tree into the stand. He asked Anne to hold the tree for a moment so that he could screw the rusty screws on the stand because the tree should have a secure hold so that it cannot fall over. Anne gave her approval with a nod, tears were still slipping down her face, which rolled into the close-meshed net in which the tree was wrapped. She had to see Gilbert kneeling at her feet, with his strong hands securing the tree, feeling the heat rising in her chest while she wished secretly for his fingers on her. Little did she know how difficult it was for him to concentrate on his task when all he could think of was the smooth surface of her legs, on which he desired to place a kiss. He would have wanted to put the world at her feet at this moment, as a token of his love, which he was more and more sure that she would reciprocate. Anne couldn't leave him behind in the past few years, and the more time he spent with her, he realized that he couldn't do that either. He loved her, but the time had not yet come for him to tell her.

When his lengthy stature rose from the ground, creating the usual height difference between him and her, Anne heaved her head in search of the warmth of hazel eyes that she hoped would be able to dry the pearls of pain that dripped from the corners of her blue orbs; this time he allowed her eyes that hold an ocean to stumble into his, lifting his arm that wanted to reach to her cheek to silence the tears that escaped her with the tenderness of his touch. 

"Please don't cry, Anne-girl. I know you and I know what's going on in that pretty head of yours. Stop blaming yourself for something that can no longer be changed. Everything that is important now, is this year's Christmas. Christmas without you is not the same. How should we enjoy the festival of love in recent years if we didn't have the person we love with us? I thought of you every day, Anne- girl but the time around Christmas I still thought of you a little more. You were always Christmas to me, the light that lit every room, and the greatest gift that life could give me, and without you, it was just a holiday, that was always lacking something and you know just like me that I'm talking about you "

She leaned into his touch, which was what she needed right now. The caress of his fingertips against her skin made her feel loved by him. He didn't have to put any words in his mouth for that, this gesture alone was enough to tell her what his heart felt but his lips were unable to express. In his hands that rested on her cheeks, she drowned, plunging into the sensitivity of his touch to drown in the love that surrounded the room. As she sank into the warmth of his hands, he sank into the gaze of her eyes, which told of pain and love, of fragility and hope that he would have liked to put in a mason jar to capture the glow that her eyes contained to brighten his darkness with its beauty. He wasn't sure if this was just a single moment between them or the beginning of something that never really ended. Perhaps that moment of intimacy was the rebirth of their mutual love, which never really died.

"Gil!" She breathed suddenly, with her exhalation tickling the palm of his hand, which half-covered her mouth, while he continued to stroke her cheek in caressing movements. "Would you help me decorate the Christmas tree? I want to surprise Marilla with it. I'm sick of being sad all the time. Marilla deserves the most beautiful Christmas you can imagine, and that's what she should get this year. This is my Christmas present for her. So will you help me? "

His lips, waiting to meet hers, curled into a smile, harboring a softness whose warmth was strong enough to set everything inside her on fire. He blinked his hazel eyes, which at first were afraid of colliding with hers, but could no longer help but get lost in the depths of hers, knowing that the magnetic core that was behind his cornea and was drawn in by the gravity within her was just too powerful to be separated from her eyes. He could never refuse her a wish and he certainly wouldn't start with that today. "Of course I'll help you Anne-girl. Can you bring me a pair of scissors? Then I can free the tree from the net."

She just nodded to Gilbert, whose fingertips carried the memory of her skin and were busy making new ones while his index finger ran over her right eyebrow, slid over her cheek, and came to a stop in the place between her nostrils and upper lip. Even if she wanted to feel his lips on hers, she would still have been content with his fingertip on them, the lines of which she wanted to absorb, consuming like a candy cane that tastes the same as his breath. His lips and the breath of his exhalation always tasted of the freshness of peppermint, which she missed on the pink buds of her mouth and wanted so badly to feel on her tongue. Instead, his hands parted from her face, which he clenched and then opened again, already missing the heat of her cheeks that shimmered a bewitching red and the feel of her skin pressed against his, even if it was just his palm, though the warmth of the skin to skin contact could still be felt in his hand.

Gilbert watched as Anne made her way to the commode from the top drawer of which she took a metal scissors. He tried not to blush for the umpteenth time as she leaned slightly forward, the silky fabric she wore clinging to her in such a way that every hill and valley of the body that was his map of the world was mapped out from him with the intense gaze of his eyes. He wished to be the material that hugged all her curves, wanting to cover her body with his hands and everything his being contained to give her the warmth that was only given off by his body because of her. The lovesick young man needed to cool off, so he shifted his gaze to the window, looking out at the creation of winter. Outside, the snowfall was picking up, making the white blanket that covered the Green Gables landscape only grow taller. The silvery-white flakes danced with each other in a way he would have liked to have done with her, circling around each other in movements that brought them closer and expressed a beauty that he appreciated but could not be compared to the beauty that was about to join him at the window, witnessing the magic of winter herself, although she had the feeling she was experiencing a moment full of magic that morning, which had more to do with love than with the season. 

"Isn't it beautiful to see the snow falling so gently and quietly on the earth? It never snows in Los Angeles and I've missed feeling the chill of the Canadian winter. For some people, it may be icy and cold but I just think it's beautiful. "

Her ramblings lifted his lips, his smile sticking to his face that he could feel, and that slowly became familiar again with the feeling of showing an expression of happiness for which she was responsible. He had his eyes fixed on her, while she was admiring the winter wonderland outside Green Gables.

A sigh escaped his lips as he let himself be blinded by her inner and outer beauty. "Yes, so beautiful." His words were a whisper that hit the back of the exposed skin of her neck, causing her breath to hitch, her fiery red hair was falling over her left shoulder as Gilbert stood behind her, toying with the idea of bending over, tilting his head a tiny bit to one side then lean in and kiss the right side of her neck, where he saw the blank space that he wanted to brand with his mouth and tongue. It came as a surprise to him when she turned around, filling the gap that gaped between him and her with her presence. Everything that separated her and him was a hair's breadth, the last bit of space in which he could still breathe, even if he was about to lose the function of inhalation and exhalation when he gazed at the stars on the milky complexion of her face, glowing brighter than the Star of Bethlehem ever could. He knew he was staring at the clusters of the galaxy that would always light his way home and would be the only light for him that he wanted to follow for the rest of his life. What else should he do? He was like a moth, drawn to a flame, the fire within her and the light that she radiated.

Anne was no different from him, concentrating on a particular curl that fell from his forehead and made her want to take it in her hand and weave her fingers through it. In his eyes, she saw a curiosity and a reluctance, as if he was fighting an inner battle with his feelings. And she wondered if his heart was waging the same war against the mind as hers. She would have loved to brush her fingers over his strong jawline to caress it with her touch and put his splendid chin into the hollow between her thumb and forefinger to pull his face towards her and close that very last gap between him and her with her lips. But all she could do was stare at him. He's always been handsome, but he's gotten a lot more attractive in recent years. Everything about him seemed more manly and grown-up than she had stored it in her memory, only his eyes still held the same expression as they had been since the first moment almost ten years ago when her eyes stumbled into his for the very first time.

Both fell into this maelstrom and the web that their mutual attraction wove over them, entangling hearts and exchanging glances in which they got lost, a labyrinth built out of the walls of their hearts, in which they found their place, which all these years was reserved for them by the other. And nobody wanted to give up this place again, which felt like a home, whose doors opened and then closed forever, hiding the key, because the people who are at home there never wanted to lose it again. The past three years have shown them how cold homelessness can feel, but while they stood there looking into eyes that blazed with warmth, they knew that they saw into the fire of their home that it will always be for each other, no matter how many miles separate them. Everything will always lead them to one another, the invisible string that connects them would take care of that, they were sure of that when the corners of their mouths lifted and they smiled at each other.

"Gil!" She breathed softly, never being able to take her eyes off his attractive features. "I-I-I think-" Her stutter was cute, as Gilbert thought, who clearly liked the flustered state Anne was in.

"What do you think Anne-girl? You can tell me." He gave her one of the sunniest smiles she had ever seen coming from his lips, running the knuckles of his left hand over her cheeks, stealing her ability to think.

"I-" She had the feeling of forgetting how letters are put together to form words, being overwhelmed by his closeness and the open expression of his feelings, which spoke of nothing but love and adoration for her, even if she did not hear the three words from him, that had always meant the world to her, but which she didn't really need at this minute to know that she was loved by him. Everything he said and everything he did made her believe that he was about to utter the three words his eyes expressed, his touch had written on her skin and his heart felt with a depth she knew that it was unwavering.

Everything was so tainted with a passion and intimacy that they arbitrarily held back because they did not dare to live it out, and so it was Anne, seeking retreat as she built a distance to hold back the eruption of emotions that filled her heart to the brim, at least for the moment. And even if she wanted to take this step over this line, which was becoming increasingly blurred, she could not yet do it. In order to surrender to her feelings, she had to be sure that her feelings would be reciprocated by him, and that the power of his love was as powerful as hers. She wanted him, in any form, but she couldn't give him her body if she couldn't be one hundred percent sure that he wanted her heart too, that felt that he wanted to hold it, but had to fight against the doubts in her head.

Anne turned away from him, looking at the floor to hide her red cheeks from him, which felt like she had run through a burning fire, casting flames on her skin that burned under his touch and his gaze that was wild and fiery. "Uhm, I think we should start decorating the tree. Who knows when Marilla will be back and it should be a surprise for her."

"Yes, maybe we should." Gilbert had to swallow, biting his lip and burying his hands in the pockets of his brown corduroy pants so as not to throw them at her. He didn't want to adorn the tree with ornaments and stars, but her with his kisses and expressions of his love, caresses, touches, kisses, and breaths against her skin. It wasn't just the feeling of Anne's touch he longed for, but everything, her smiles and nightly conversations before going to bed, her heartbeat near by his side, whose rhythm could always tame the chaos in his soul and worked better than any lullaby. He wanted to sleep next to her in the evening, only to wake up the next morning with the feeling of the heaviness of her head on his chest, because he knew how much she loved the beating of his heart, the sound of which played a symphony named after her, his muse, who was an inspiration and a work of art in one for him.

"Then let's start decorating the most beautiful Christmas tree the world has ever seen. I'm all yours, Anne-Girl. You just have to tell me what to do."

The interior of the parlor was so warm, giving off a heat that spread throughout the room and was noticed by both of them, knowing that the heat was being heated by the tension between them, which was the gasoline, that started to go up in flames as soon as their eyes met for the first time that morning. Anne had to fan some air on her face, still feeling the effects of his closeness and gaze below and above her surface, which tingled and burned like sunburn on a hot summer day, only that this burning was triggered by the man in front of her who set her whole being on fire as if it were made of paper. She felt a lump forming and had to clear her throat, seeing from the corner of her right eye how he was eyeing her from head to toe, drinking her in as if she were the most precious thing his eyes ever got to see.

"It is best if we remove the net from the tree first. Uh, where do I have the scissors?" She spun around in search of the scissors, swirling a pirouette that lifted her black nightgown a few inches. For Gilbert, she had the elegance of a ballerina, who could fill opera houses with her grace and beauty, and at whom he would throw flowers and air kisses from the front row at every performance, as her biggest fan. From her face, he roamed his eyes over her neck, then over her breasts, until they fell on her hands, where he saw something that made him chuckle.

"Are you looking for the scissors that you have in your hand?"

The actress looked down at her left hand, which held the object she had been looking for. Actually, she should have noticed the coldness of the object in the palm of her hand, but everything felt so warm that it was not registered by her. "Oh, how stupid of me? I don't know where my thoughts are today." She laughed even though she was embarrassed. Gilbert always managed to unbalance her composure, which she lost when she felt like she was floating on the open sea, where she was exposed to everything, like him and his damn grin in that one moment.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel the same way." Gilbert, however, was able to empathize with her and had the feeling that he knew what she meant. He stole her every thought and she stole his. Two thieves who wanted to take nothing less from one another than the most precious thing they have, their hearts that beat for the other.

He stretched out his right hand, the strong protruding veins on the region of his arm, not covered by his shirt, was visible to Anne, who had to gulp, wondering since when she found veins sexy, or whether it was just his, which she found attractive.

"Please give me the scissors so that I can finally free the tree from this ugly net."

"Here, Doctor Blythe." She handed him the metal utensil, realizing what she had said, she covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide open, staring at Gilbert in disbelief. Anne, who, along with Gilbert, was considered to be the two brightest students in high school at the time, felt so incredibly stupid after this sentence. He couldn't become a doctor because he'd rather wait for her to come back than pursue his dream on the other side of the country. 

"I'm sorry Gil. I didn't mean to upset you with my stupidity."

Annoyed at herself, she rolled her eyes, her hands on her hips, as she saw Gilbert shrug, apparently not bothered by what she had said. Busy cutting open the net, he completely missed what Anne had said. Sure, he had heard her words but didn't feel offended in any way until he realized that she was still blaming herself for the fact that instead of becoming a doctor, he was now teaching biology in their old high school. He had to put an end to it all, so he put the scissors on the windowsill and addressed what he had to say to Anne with a smile.

"Anne-girl, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm happy with what I'm doing. Shaping the minds of young people is just as satisfying for me as curing diseases. I don't need a Ph.D. What good is all of this for me if I can't share it with you? Don't you still understand that all I ever wanted was always you? You will always be everything for me, the one thing I need to be happy. You know as much as I do that I could never offer you what you deserve, but if I had only one chance to show you that you mean the world to me, believe me, then I would use it. "

Anne stared deeply into his eyes, clinging with her hands to the string of lights that she had pulled from one of the boxes while all she found in his piercing gaze was the honesty that sounded in his words.

The truth was, Gilbert had had enough of prancing around her, walking on tiptoe, only to not take the step he was sure both were ready to take. He wanted to be able to feel both of his feet on the ground in preparation for the inevitable, the unveiling of his feelings, and the rocket launch into the celestial sphere when she tells him she feels the same for him. 

"If you want to be loved and I mean by myself, tell me and I'll be yours forever."

All he saw on her face after his utterance had subsided in the room was the look of shock and he didn't know if she reacted this way because of his boldness, or if it was the reaction to something that she didn't feel the way like he did. He waited for minutes for an answer, but it didn't come. All she could do was shake her head because there was nothing else she could do. Her inhalation got stuck in her throat, as did every word that was sent from her heart to tell him that she wants nothing more than to be loved by him, but she remained silent. The English language has millions of words and she couldn't find any to tell him that she loves him, albeit all she wanted was to tell him that the crux of her being belongs to him. But this sentence from him, which hit her heart so unexpectedly, stole her breath and her words with it, rendering her speechless while she gasped because she didn't have the air to breathe.

Gilbert felt like someone had given him a hard hit in the pit of his stomach, not knowing what to expect. He thought it was what she wanted to hear and was already prepared to let his lips collide with hers, or at least to be able to rock her in the safety of his arms. Sighing, he turned his attention to the Christmas tree, brushing his hand over one of the green branches that were still as bare as he felt, exposed to her puzzled look, which he did not know how to interpret. Her gaze spoke in riddles, as if with his revelation he had placed a mystery in her hand that made it difficult for her to solve, although the answer to it could be found in her heart. He knew that and therefore there was no reason for him to give up, assuming that she probably just needed a little more time to process everything.

"I'm ready when you are, Anne-girl. I've waited three years for you to come back to me and I would wait for you for a lifetime if I had to. Because if something is worth waiting for, it's your love. I loved you yesterday and a year ago, my heart was yours from the moment I first laid my eyes on you and it will still be yours in ten years. My heart is yours forever Anne, you just have to want it. "

Although Gilbert was wandering around the room, looking rather nervous as his hand kept coming to the back of his neck, the strength in his voice was full of determination. And Anne knew that he is usually a man who finishes something that he is determined to do and does not doubt. Matters of the heart have always been more important than anything to Gilbert Blythe and Anne couldn't help but love him more than she already did.

It was a heavy silence that fell over them as they began to decorate the tree together. Stars and ornaments in white, gold, and red tones found a place on the branches of the Colorado fir tree. When Matthew was still alive, the redhead spent many of her afternoons making Christmas tree decorations with him. Matthew was a quiet man, but an introvert of the more impatient kind when it came to doing handicrafts and cutting snowflakes out of folded paper. But Anne loved him for trying for her. She cherished all the hours he sacrificed to made stars and snowflakes with her with everything she had.

Anyway, they definitely had enough to decorate two or three trees with them, white snowflakes, candy canes, and glittering tree globes were just a few of the things that should now turn the tree into an object that people enjoy when they see it. The possibilities to decorate the tree were endless, but Anne always liked the tree best, decorated in a color combination of red, white, and gold. The red should always symbolize the love she found in this house and the small town, white was a symbol for winter and the golden color for the light and the hope that she associated with the season. 

Holding a red heart ornament in her hand, Anne tried to say something to Gilbert, but she just couldn't. She wanted to put the heart in his hands as a symbol of her love, but his gaze startled her, digging deep into her skin, which was familiar with the feeling of the intensity of his glances, which always felt like a warm hug from a distance, only that this time he was standing next to her and eying her from the side. She could imagine that he was letting his gaze roam over her to make her nervous in order to get an answer out of her. From the corner of her eyes, she saw his tense jaw, which he had clenched and as much as she would have liked to give him the relief for his tension, she lacked the courage to say the right thing. The red heart ornament suddenly slipped from her sweaty hands and fell to the floor, shattering into small fragments of shards that reminded Gilbert of his heart that broke a little when it felt like it had been dropped by her. His head tilted to one side, seeing Anne scurry into the kitchen and come back with a hand brush and dustpan, kneeling on the floor to pick up the broken pieces.

“Let me help you.” Gilbert offered, taking the hand brush from her hand and running his fingers over the layer of her skin in the act. "Sometimes it makes sense to pick up the parts of a broken heart. It may not be the same as before, but that doesn't mean it can't feel what it always felt." He told her, sweeping up the broken pieces that reflected in the daylight and, despite their brokenness, bore a beauty.

"But what if it wants the pieces to be picked up and put back together but is afraid that it will hurt a heart, that it has already broken. A heart is such a fragile construct. What if it breaks again?"

Gilbert reached out for her hand, slowly realizing where her real problem is. That's why he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and gifted her a loving smile. "That is the risk we take when we love someone. No one can save us from the pain we are willing to endure when we give our hearts to someone. All we can do is hope that the other person knows what responsibility they have. We have to use our hearts, that's why we have them. I take the risk of letting you break my heart. You can break mine as often as you want, I will still love you because you are the love of my life and everything in me says that you are my happily ever after. You're my happy ending, Anne-girl, and even if you could break my heart, I know you won't. I feel that right here."

He guided her small delicate hand to his heart, demonstrating to her that she determines the rhythm of it and can do whatever she wants with it. He felt the palm of her hand through his shirt, through which she could feel his heartbeat, which began to race as she stroked his chest with her thumb.

"I promise I won't break it. I never wanted that." All she had to offer him was a low whisper, her breath could tickle his cheek, she was so close to him, circling in an orbit from which she no longer wanted to escape. All she needed was the closeness to him, in which she always felt safer than anywhere else in this world. Kneeling on the floor and looking at each other, they got closer to what they longed for all these years, the home that has a heartbeat. Both knew that they wished for the same thing. All of the heartbeats that they had left in their lives they wanted to spend together, not to live in seconds or minutes, but in the beats of their hearts.

"I know Anne-girl, I know." He breathed against her scalp and then kissed her forehead before offering her his hand to help her get off the floor. "We have all the time in the world to find out what we are. It is important to me that you know that you are the only one for me and when you need time to find out whether you can imagine a future with me by your side then that's okay with me. I love you now and I will continue to love you when you are ready to be loved by me. You will not get rid of me Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, not if I can prevent it. But now we should take care of the Christmas tree. It still looks a little bare if you ask me. "

In the gentlest way she could have imagined, he encased her hands with his, circling his fingertips over the knuckles of her fists on which he placed a kiss as he led them to his lips, which lingered there a little longer than necessary. He raised his gaze, rediscovering everything in her ocean-blue eyes that was denied him for three years, stormy waves and the hurricane of her love, which could always carry him away, into all the depths with which she loved him like no other person could ever love, unconditionally without ever making a demand, and with everything she has and he is, strengths and weaknesses, all the imperfections that were the definition of perfection for him. 

He had to chuckle and she had to smile, the smile she gave him was that of the woman he loved and although she couldn't tell him yet, he knew he was loved by her because it wasn't one of her Hollywood smiles, no, that smile was an Avonlea smile that came from the heart, warmed her cheeks and reached her eyes in the same way as his. 

"How about some Christmas music while we are busy decorating the tree? Do you still love All I Want For Christmas Is You as much as you used to?" Gilbert's suggestion came with a grin, he reached into the pocket of his pants from which he pulled his phone, his head lifted in anticipation of Anne's answer, who bit her lip and nodded.

"The song always reminds me of you. You were always everything I wanted and needed for Christmas." Anne shyly admitted, seeing the two dimples dancing on his cheeks as the corners of his mouth curled up. He scrolled through the phone in his hand, which Anne had a good look at. What she could see amazed her, because although it was not the same phone that he owned three years ago, he had set the wallpaper he already had back then. It was a picture that Matthew had taken of them on the last Christmas, that they had all celebrated together, the two of them sitting under the Christmas tree, cuddled in Anne's emerald green woolen blanket, her head resting on his heart the moment he was kissing her scalp. Both had a dreamy look in their eyes as if they were in a dreamland where there was only love.

The rays of the sun danced a slow waltz on the walls of the parlor, motioning to the beats of her and his heart, enveloping the room in a warm amber light that was captured by the windows.The soft hue made Anne's red hair shimmer in a majestic gold and copper shade that fell from her shoulders in a silky glow. Gilbert, mesmerized by her beauty had to gulp as he felt the tingle in his fingers, the rising urge to want to get his fingertips tangled in her tendrils, the same way his heart did in hers long ago. He never thought of trying to untangle all the knots that the invisible string that tied him to her must have shaped in recent years and he didn't want that either. 

"You still have the picture?"

Scrolling through his phone, he didn't see the look of surprise on her face, but he heard it in her voice. His fingers tapped the display once, then a second time, until suddenly the first notes of All I Want For Christmas Is You echoed through the room. He grabbed her hand, turned her in a circle, and then leaned to one side to kiss the spot on her neck that he'd chosen earlier.

"It's my favorite picture. You have always loved laying your head on my chest and I have loved seeing how the beating of my heart can control your breathing and calm you down. Every time I see this picture, I know what my heart once meant to you and I hope it still means the same to you as it did the day Matthew took the picture of us."

Anne found her right hand on his cheek and while he found it hard to suppress his smile and what he was feeling, all he wanted was to place his hands on her hips and then pull her close to him. They weren't the Anne and Gilbert they were before she left, and they probably never would be, given what had happened, but that didn't mean they couldn't love each other with the same intensity as they once did, only with a few more scars on their hearts that they inflicted on each other and now wanted to heal, because if there is any medicine that can heal the deepest wounds in time, it was their mutual love.

"I miss Matthew and I miss you. Maybe going to Los Angeles was a mistake, but after Matthew's death, I saw no other way to escape the pain than leaving Avonlea. Looking back, it was a stupid idea because I feel the pain still as intense as then. I'm so sorry Gil. I hope you can forgive me one day," she told him, caressing his handsome features with the tender touch of her fingertips. The redhead stroked his cheek one last time, then turned away from him to get on with why he was still there. The tree had to be decorated before Marilla would be back from her visit to the Lynde's.

"I forgave you a long time ago. You did what you thought was right. How can I be mad at you when all you wanted was to escape the pain? Yes, the years without you hurt but I know what it's like to lose your father and I am so grateful that I had you when mine died. I just would have loved to have been there for you too." Gilbert hung some of the decorations on the tree that he knew very well that Anne had made with Matthew, seeing how she adorned the fir greenery with red bows that shimmered just as silky as the fabric that clung so perfectly to her curves. Gilbert had to feel his mouth drying out, longing for her lips and wondering if he would be given the gift of being branded by the fire of her sensual mouth while in Avonlea, the soft pillows that should be carved into his lips like a tattoo to remind him of the first kiss in three years, an expression of love that should only be the beginning of many more. But they weren't that far yet, he knew that too and so there was nothing left for him but to wait.

"Anne-girl!" 

As so often this morning, he called her by her nickname, which she loved so much and preferred to endearments like babe or darling. He could call her Anne-girl for the time she was in Avonlea and that would be enough for her. Because this nickname was always pronounced with a gentleness and warmth by him, in which the love could be found, that finally awoke from the hibernation, which lasted 3 years and thawed all feelings, like the buds of a tree that has its roots in the earth, the way she has hers in him, her home, to which everything will always lead her back.

"Yes, Gil?"

"Will you promise me that you will text or call me if you should need me tomorrow. I know that the memory of the day he died will be difficult for you, but I am there for you."

Moved by his request, Anne nodded her head, wondering how she deserves someone like Gilbert in her life. "I promise you." She already made a few promises this morning but was determined to keep them. Suddenly, running away from her feelings was no longer an option for her, not when she knew that there are people in whose arms she can fall into when the pain is so great that it is about to overwhelm her with its might.

As they decorated the tree together, the house, where death and pain lingered for so long, filled with music and happy laughter. Somehow Gilbert had managed to transform the heaviness that was on her heart that morning into a feeling of lightness that Anne didn't know she was still able to feel. The branches of the tree were hung with stars made of straw, ornaments in the shape of hearts, reindeer and bells, and glittering globes that shimmered in the light of the sun like a Christmas jewel. At some point, the tree was so full that only the star for the top was missing.

"Matthew used to put the star on the top of the Christmas tree. Marilla and I were never tall enough to reach this without help. Oh, Gil, maybe you can put it up?" Anne asked, some frustration in her voice audible for Gilbert who had an idea. 

Gilbert shook his head, the curls of his dark mane bouncing left and right in the act as he picked up the star and took the few steps to Anne that kept them apart. "I think you should put it on the top of the tree. Matthew would have wanted it that way." He carefully placed the star in her trembling hands, discovering the uncertain look in the ocean of her eyes, which reflected the daylight and the feelings that also held his eyes, love and gratitude for the moment that they were allowed to share, but also the sadness about how so often in recent years having to celebrate without people who were sorely missed by them. "Do you trust me Anne-Girl?" he asked carefully while she was gazing into the depths of his hazel orbs.

"More than any other person on earth."

"Perfect!" He stood behind her and even if she couldn't see his face, she could feel that he was grinning. Out of a sudden, Anne had to feel how he put his hands on her hips that had a firm hold over her, but whose grip on her flesh was still gentle.

"What are you going to do, Gil?" She directed her question to him quizzically, noticing how he squeezed her hips. She wished she could see his face, but at the same time she was glad that he couldn't see hers, that was blushing from the heat that was spreading through her body.

She heard him laugh behind her, "You will see, Anne-Girl. I can't bring you the stars from the sky, but I can help you put this one on the tree."

His breath tickled her neck as he talked to her. She had to clear her throat, noticing the knot that was forming there, as he continued to rob her of the ability to speak. "Oh, okay." That was all she could say, feeling the heat that the closeness to his body and his hands pressed into hers created.

The strong masculine arms of Gilbert lifted her into the air and Anne thought of flying into the spheres into which only he was able to heave her. If there was one person who could make her feel like flying, it was Gilbert Blythe. 

"Am I not too heavy for you? A little more to the right, Gil." She commanded, her voice was soft and it took a few seconds to get to Gilbert, who was trying hard not to stare at the roundness of her backside, which was in the middle of his field of vision.

"You have always been as light as a feather, so don't worry. And besides, I'm a strong young man." He tried to reassure Anne and control his balance, to give her the right angle so that she could finally put the crown on the tree, which in this case was a golden star.

“Yes, very strong!” This compliment that he discovered in her words had enough power to turn his cheeks red, which were already a slight blush, beguiled by Anne's backside that he wanted to press his hands into, which were still resting on her side curves.

."Done!" The sound of clapping hands rang through the room after Anne's words had faded away. She felt well cared for and safe in his hands while he held her in the air. With him, she would feel safe in every situation in life, that she knew ten years ago when he became her best friend and she knew it in all the years in which she loved him more as a lover than a friend.

Floating in the air, carried only by the strength of his arms and hands, she had to notice how he turned her and when she noticed the ground under her feet again, leaning her hands on his shoulders, all she desired was to be close to him, and to lose herself in his eyes, in which a lustful fire burned.

"Thank you for your trust, Anne-girl." His breath, which actually smelled of the peppermint taste of candy canes, tickled her nose and all she could think about now was the longing to share her breath with his and to knot her tongue with his while they seal their love with a kiss, that was to be just one of many more she wanted to give him for the rest of his and her life. As she thought this minute, he must have thought and felt the same way. He took a deep intake of breath, tilting his head a little to his left, letting her know that he wanted the same thing as her, the connection of their lips.

All morning it was just that one gap that stood between them and that both of them wished they could finally get permission to close. Anne had to smile and all Gilbert wanted was to taste her happiness on his lips, that had to be contagious, because he felt it too. It wasn't just this kiss that everything they were made of longed for, it was much more the longing for the person who stood in front of them, the love of their life that they wanted to love until the end of it. The magnetism in them, the invisible string tied around their hearts pulled their faces together, causing an eruption in their stomachs as the butterflies there began to celebrate.

Those moments before kissing him were always the best for her, seeing him close his eyes and let his heart guide him, that always knew where to find her lips and the way one exhalation of his breath covered her whole body with goosebumps, always had an intimacy of its own that she would probably never find the right words for. Letting herself be tickled by his breath she waited for the moment when his lips would finally collide with hers and express the kiss that was exchanged with glances many times that morning and was about to reach their mouths.

"Gil!" She breathed heavily, leaning her cheek against the touch of his hand that he had placed there in the meantime. With his thumbs, he drew little hearts on her skin, which was getting hotter every second. "Can you finally kiss me, please. I've waited three years for this moment and I'll die if you don't kiss me soon." Her pleading words brought a smile out of Gilbert that danced on his lips and which Anne wanted so badly to replace with her mouth. 

"My God, Anne-girl, I thought you would never ask." His breath met hers, stealing the air to breathe out of her lungs even before the kiss. Their bodies tingled with electricity made from the chemistry that formed between them. Anne had to bite her lip which made Gilbert crazy, who wanted to tell her something before he would get her lips where they belong, pressed tightly against his. "I love you, Anne-girl!" He whispered his declaration of love into the room as his exhalation met her lips and the three words she longed for her heart. "In all these years I have never stopped loving you."

Her eyes shot wide open. She had the feeling to be in a dream from which she no longer wanted to wake up. Anne would have told him so much that she loved him too, but how could she do that when her lips couldn't shape the words, too busy waiting for his. She could already feel the tip of his nose against hers, and how he held her chin in the hollow between his thumb and forefinger while his free hand reached for hers. The world stopped turning and time stood still. All that could be heard in the room was their heavy breathing and the booming sound of their pounding cores. His lips almost brushed against her upper lip that she could feel, weakening her knees, which were as little immune to Gilbert as her whole being. She wanted his lips so badly, but she couldn't have them, not right now.

The loud slamming of the front door made both of them jump away from each other, building a distance that was now visible between their bodies but not felt between their hearts. "Anne, are you home?" It was Marilla who had interrupted the moment between the two, and as much as Gilbert loved the elderly lady, he wished she'd come ten minutes later to get the kiss from Anne of which he could only dream for the last three years. "My, Gilbert. How nice to see you." Anne's adoptive mother greeted the young man, who was always a kind of son to her, with a motherly smile. Her gaze wandered around the room, discovering the magnificently decorated tree that stood in front of the window and almost moved Marilla to tears. 

"Oh Anne, did you decorate the Christmas tree? It's beautiful. One of the prettiest trees we've ever had at Green Gables. The house hasn't felt like Christmas in a long time. But everything's different this year. And I think you're the reason for it, Anne." Marilla stood in the doorway in surprise, holding a basket in her right hand while she led her left to her heart, visibly moved that after all these years the feeling of Christmas could be felt in the Green Gables rooms again.

"That was the least I could do and I had excellent help." Anne smiled but avoided looking at Gilbert, who looked shyly at the floor. 

Meanwhile, Marilla did her best to suppress a grin. The flustered state Anne and Gilbert were in was of course not hidden from her, and that made her thoughtful, wondering whether the two were reviving the love that everyone who knew them was sure was never gone.

Gilbert said goodbye after a short conversation with Marilla, but not without mouthing the words, "Text or call me" in the direction of Anne behind the back of the elder. Even if he didn’t get the kiss he had hoped for that morning, he had the feeling that he didn’t have to wait long for it and so he trudged through the deep snow with a relieved heart and set off towards his home, leaving Anne in the house that can still hold laughter and where happiness has returned.

"Tell me what happened. Are you back together?" Marilla had just closed the front door behind Gilbert but curiosity got the best of her. She hastily scurried back into the room and sat on the antique lounge that stood in the middle of the parlor. Marilla was in search of answers that she wished her daughter could give her.

"It's a long story but I have the impression that it's the kind of story you may like." Anne's face wore a smile, the one that only Gilbert could produce. Sitting next to Marilla on the sofa, she began to tell her adoptive mother everything, well almost everything. The details about which way she would have liked to have had with his body, she spared Marilla, she didn't want to shock her with her indecent thoughts.

At the end of her story, Anne first had to gasp for air. "Long story short, he still loves me." She told Marilla with a glimmer in her eyes that was caused by the genuine smile on her glowing face. Marilla pulled her into a loving embrace with which she wanted to express the feeling for which no words were needed, the joy that Anne was about to find happiness again.

* * *

  
  


The day quickly morphed into the evening. In the night sky, the golden stars could be seen dancing around the moon and keeping the nocturnal eye company on the cold winter night, glancing down on the small town of Avonlea from whose houses the warm light of candles and fairy lights shone, sending hope into the darkness that didn't seem so scary to Anne anymore. Hope was what she found that morning, and love she thought she would never receive again. She knew now that she was loved by Gilbert and it was time to open her heart and tell him that she will always love him, forever and a day.

Staring at the ceiling of her bedroom while she was lying in her bed and missing Gilbert next to her, who could always make that old wooden bed the warmest bed she'd ever known, she made a decision. She knew he still had his old phone number, so she grabbed the phone on her bedside table and opened his contact details. All these years she hadn't had the heart to delete his phone number. She needed something to hold on to, even if it were just three letters and a few digits. Her fingertips hastily tapped on the keypad of her phone, repeatedly erasing words that she replaced with others until she was satisfied with what she had typed out. 

[Unknown Number - 10:45 pm] Hi, Gil it's me, Anne! First of all, I want to thank you for your help today. That meant a lot to me. Can we meet tomorrow? I don't want to exclude you anymore, I want to share everything with you, my pain and my laughter, my love, and my breath. Everything I have and am I want to share with you for the rest of my life if you let me. You could just pick me up and we could just ride around. I can't be at Green Gables tomorrow. That's all I want for Christmas. You, Gil, all I want for Christmas is you. It always has been you and I know that, technically speaking, Christmas won't be for a few days, but maybe you can make my Christmas wish come true. That was all I wanted to tell you. Good night, Gil!

❤P.S. I Love You❤

Sighing one last time, she dared tap the arrow that would send the text message to Gilbert. Knowing that she would otherwise never sleep when her phone was switched on, she switched it off and put it in the top drawer of her bedside table so as not to be tempted to keep an eye on it in order to check if he had answered her. She covered herself with her emerald green woolen blanket and fell into a deep slumber for the first time in a long time, dreaming of the fulfillment of her Christmas wish and lips that taste like candy canes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter we see Gilbert's reaction to Anne's text message and whether her Christmas wish is granted


	4. Christmas In My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne is in the depths of despair but don't worry, Diana proves once again that she is the best friend you can imagine. Angst at the beginning but it gets more fluffy. Anne's Christmas wish comes true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, dear readers! Happy new year to all of you! This chapter is a monster with 20k words and the last normal chapter of this story. But don't worry, an epilogue is coming soon. I've never written so much dialogue before and I hope you enjoy this chapter because I'm quite satisfied with the way it turned out. 
> 
> I'm curious to see if you'll find the references to Taylor's songs and Awae that I included.
> 
> Enjoy reading and feel free to leave a comment. I would like to hear your thoughts on this. I'm always open to constructive criticism, but please keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue!
> 
> Warning: There's some mention of death and grief

The coldest and most anticipated season of the year settled with the sound of silence over the small town. Avonlea's winter was an aesthetically image of quietness and beauty that a brush and pen could never capture on the smooth structure of a piece of paper or the rough texture of a canvas. Solely Mother Earth had the power to describe the beauty winter was able to hold. Bare tree branches were coated in thick glittering blankets of snow, shimmering in the light of day like precious diamonds and jewels, shaped in uniqueness and beauty that made each flake different from the other. The landscapes of the small town resembled an artistic masterpiece, a work of art, painting a winter wonderland in nature, for which its creator only had to use a few brushstrokes and hues of nature's color palette to create the magic owned by the season.

Overhead the dark green canopy of the Victorian farmhouse on the outskirts of town, black ravens circled, chirping to each other as they flapped their wings in the country air, which felt colder than in the days before, but maybe it was just the feeling of sadness and loss, that was felt in it, hovering like a dark shadow over Green Gables that day. The green lacquered window of the old gable room, located at the top floor of the farmhouse wasn't closed, standing wide ajar on this wintry afternoon. A hissing whisper of the winter's breath, which was attached with a bitterly cold, streamed into the bedroom in which Anne had spent most of the day in the familiarity of her brown colored wooden bed that broadcasted a bleakness, merciless lurking over the grounds of Green Gables where the sorrow and pain were waiting in every corner for Anne who was not far from collapsing under the burden that her fragile heart has had to weigh in the past. It was the third anniversary of Matthew's death, which she had anxiously awaited since her homecoming to Avonlea. So far, she had used the day to sleep in between the four walls of the east gable room where she attempted to block out everything that surrounded her. The intention of her impulsive decision was to bring this gruesome day to an end as quickly as possible. The promise that she would not be sad anymore, which she gave to herself, was broken by her when she got up in the morning after she was visited during the night by hazel eyes, with the intensity of the warm honey color and the green flecks that danced around his irises creeping into her sleep, which was a solid one and which included what her dreams were made of, Gilbert Blythe and her yearning for his heart.

In her dream, she tasted the lips that were denied her the day before, and the breath, which in the fantasy land smelled so vividly of peppermint, tickling her skin as he marked her with his love, loving her between white bed sheets where he let his touch speak instead of his voice. There, in the dreamland he loved her in the way she wished to be loved by him in real life, the here and now, without a doubt, and with everything that his being had to give, fingertips and lips, his breath and his tongue. With his all, his holism, he loved her that night, in a dream that burst when her eyes opened in the morning, putting an end to the figment of her imagination that she wanted nothing more than to transform it into something real. 

The first thing she did that morning was to check her phone for a reply to her message that she wrote the night before and which included a request for him to come over, telling him this way what her heart was feeling. Sure, one reason she had texted him was because she didn't want to be alone that day but her most important motive was that she, and everything in her, was ready to be loved by him. Anne woke up with a hope that was shattered when nothing more than a text message from Diana and a voice message from Cole flashed on her display, blinding her eyes which first had to get used to the daylight of the early hours. She had ignored the messages from her friends, throwing her phone on her bedside table in frustration as she fell more and more into the depths of despair. Yesterday she had felt happier than on every single day in the past few years, not only because she had heard that Gilbert loves her, but because she saw it above all in every exchange they shared. She discovered it in every gesture and recognized it in the small moments, noticeably in the way his touch lingered on her skin longer than necessary or his eyes never ceased to leave her. His smile, the goddamn curve she laid on his lips, told more than any word of an encyclopedia could ever do, about happiness and love that he found again just like her, in the hometown where their love began to blossom years ago and never withered, poured from afar with longing thoughts of one another that were the waters of the feelings rooted in the bottom of their cores. After he had left, she couldn't stop feeling that smile on her face that he brought out of her and put on her lips with the ease of a warm summer breeze that at the same time warmed her petite physique in midst of the wildest winter.

But as if the third anniversary of Matthew's death hadn't been painful enough for her, she now had to grapple with the thought that Gilbert might want to take back what he said to her the day before when he told her in what was barely a whisper what he wanted to say for the last three years. He had voiced the three words that her heart longed for such a long time but, as so often, the doubts began to spin in her head, for the reason that her phone stayed silent even though she told him she loved him. 

"Has he got a new phone number after all? Or has he not read the message yet? No, he must have got it. It is afternoon now therefore he must have read it, but why doesn't he answer me?" 

Talking to herself, Anne looked out of the open shutters, catching her breath while pondering why Gilbert wasn't there, though he had asked her to message him if she needed him. She sat on the windowsill, waiting for hours at the open window for him to come. The actress had locked herself in her room all day, refused breakfast, then lunch. She simply lacked the strength and appetite to eat something, given that all she hungered for was Gilbert, but it looked like her biggest fear was about to become a reality. She thought, as she let the breath she had sucked in a second before back into the winter air, that her hunger for Gilbert can never be satisfied, not when he withdrew from her as it looked right now. First tears welled in her eyes, sliding down her cheeks, on which she had to feel a burning pain that had to do with the grief of Matthew's death and the fear of having lost Gilbert before she had the chance to get him back. It wasn't just the emotional ache that harmed her but also the cold that swept into her room, which settled painfully in her bones and made her feel an ache that was so peculiar that she thought this pain would be forevermore.

"I guess love doesn't conquer all." She sobbed uncontrollably, crying into her emerald green woolen blanket that was wrapped around her torso. It had lost the scent of apples and cinnamon a long time ago though it still felt like Gilbert's warm embrace.

To her, it felt like the text message she had sent him had been addressed to the fire, being swallowed up by flames that turned her words to ashes and dust, and of which as little was left as of Anne's hope, which was faltering more and more. On this December afternoon, Anne felt more unmoored than she had for a long time. She had the feeling to be a ship on the high seas waiting for the signal to enter the safe harbor that was once her home port. He was her beacon in the troubled sea, the light that held her above the surface when the pain tore at her and tried to pull her into the depths of the water. She resisted this pull, which was powerful but not enough to counter the spark of her hope. The brightest light of all lights was always carried by him, holding torches into the night sky to illuminate her the way back home. It was he who led her through the darkness that haunted her and only left her when she found her anchorage again in him. But now she had to assume that his heart doesn't want to be anchored to hers. She found no other explanation, hearing and feeling how her heart surrendered to the pain as it cried the droplets that reached the ocean of her eyes that were seeking for the signal of the lighthouse.

  
  


"What could have happened that he didn't answer? Did I do something wrong?" Thousands of questions ran through her head and she couldn't find an answer to any of them. As she let out all the tears that held her heart, filled to the brim making it overflow, Anne felt like a fool. She had the feeling that she was a naive little girl who wanted too much too soon, although everything indicated that he wanted the same thing. 

She had sad eyes that looked lonely as she stared into the vastness of the Green Gables landscape. The usually green colored meadows and pastures carried the snow of the past days which was mirrored by the majestic daylight of the approaching afternoon, shimmering like a silver mirror ball under which Anne would have liked to stand with Gilbert to dance with him. He would've found her there on her highest tiptoe while her head nestled against his chest and she would've followed the beat of his heart instead of the music. 

"World-class, Anne! He doesn't want to grant you your Christmas wish and you still think of a New Year's Eve dance with him." Her pain slowly turned into an anger that was directed at Gilbert, who dared to give her all these signals. Hell, he even confessed his love to her, and then he got the nerve to ignore her declaration of love. Still sitting on the windowsill, she let the icy December wind fan her face. She was biting her lip as she crossed her hands over her chest and took a deep breath, swallowing all the pain with the air she inhaled. 

Anne's eyes closed, on the lookout for some rest after crying so many tears. She didn't know what to do. Should she keep hoping that what Gilbert said could really be true, the unveiling of his feelings, which supposedly still have the same weight as they did then, or should she give up believing that there is still a chance for him and her? With her eyes closed, she ran her hands over the snow-covered roof, picking up some snow in her hand, which melted in the warmth of her palm, trickling through the cavity between her fingertips, which longed for dark curls and his perfect skin, that she wanted to adorn with her touches, the loving caress of her hands which she would brush over all the regions of his body for whose pores and fibers she longed.

"Anne!"

The yell of a person calling for her name startled Anne, whose eyes shot wide open, seeing Diana Barry standing in the snow, from where she looked at the redhead's room window. The raven-haired young woman wore a smile on her lips that Anne would have liked to return but couldn't. She no longer wanted to pretend a smile and also no longer wanted to hide behind something that she did not feel. She wanted to be Anne of Green Gables, who wants to feel what she feels, even if it sometimes hurts, and not Anne Shirley-Cuthbert who made it to Hollywood and lives the life many may dream of. If she had the chance to swap her current life for her old one, she would do it in a heartbeat without having to think about it. Because for her what is a dream for so many was nothing more than her job, which brought her a lot of money but not the happiness she was looking for. No, she couldn't smile, because there was no reason for it, not on the day that will always be a dark day for her and especially not when she was about to lose Gilbert, whom she would rather have seen outside her window. And, of course, she was happy to see Diana, but right now all her heart wanted was him.

"Do you mind if I come upstairs to see you? You didn't reply to my message and I was worried about you Anne, especially today," Diana told her friend who she had not seen after the meeting in church, but exchanged text messages with her. She was just as happy to have her bosom friend back in her life as Anne was and knew exactly how hard this day had to be for her. For this reason, she couldn't help but make her way from Orchard Slope towards Green Gables on this winter day, which was so enormously cold.

"No of course not, my dearest Diana of Dianas." Anne shook her head, resting her hands on the windowsill. She leaned slightly out of the window, but not far enough that it was dangerous to her. In Diana's visit, she saw an opportunity to be distracted from the thoughts of Gilbert. Perhaps it would also make the grief, which was more present that day than others, a bit more tolerable. Anne knew that Matthew's death would always be a part of her life and that it was time for her to start learning to live with it. The pain would stay but the last days in Avonlea taught her that one must face one's ghosts in order to lose fear of them. That was the only way to make the pain ever more bearable, otherwise it would always haunt her and she no longer wanted that. "It's so good to see you, Di. Please, come on in!" Anne no longer wanted to be afraid and so she invited Diana, who a few days ago was still a ghost from Anne's past, into the house, which after years was decorated for Christmas again. Wearing a smile on her face, Diana knocked at the green main door and got Marilla's permission to come in. When she stepped over the threshold and entered the house, her nose was tickled by the smells coming from the kitchen, which had the scent of freshly baked gingerbread and cinnamon stars that wafted through the hallways of the farmhouse. 

There was only one thought that came to her mind, which she whispered down the corridor of the farmhouse, seeing Marilla walking back into the kitchen.

" _Finally, Christmas has returned to the house_ "

In her room, Anne could already hear Diana making her way to her. The wooden panels of the staircase creaked under the winter boots of the young woman who has seldom been to the old farmhouse in recent years since without Anne at Green Gables there weren't many reasons for her to visit the house. With the knuckles of her right hand, Diana knocked on Anne's room door, which opened immediately afterward, revealing the redhead in a desolate state, her eyes were puffy and her hair was only tied in a messy braid that fell over her shoulder. Diana knew immediately that Anne was not feeling well, so she spread her arms open into which Anne fell, wrapping her hands around Diana's neck as she started crying in midst of the embrace she shared with her best friend. 

"I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you so much over the past few years." Anne's tears were absorbed into the blue fabric of Diana's winter coat, in which the transparent pearls dripped, which contained enough pain to also bring tears to Diana's eyes.

Diana's grip on Anne's back tightened. She wanted so much to show Anne that she was glad to have the redhead back in her life and that she had missed her. If it were up to her, she would not have wanted to let go of Anne anytime soon. "Oh, Anne I missed you too. Without you, Avonlea is no longer the place it used to be. We have all missed you and I know for sure that a certain young man has missed you the most. Were you able to talk to Gilbert again after the service on Sunday?" she questioned, fondly rubbing Anne's back in an attempt to soothe her bosom friend.

Feeling a mixture of vexation, craving, and agony, Anne freed herself from Diana's arms, wiping away her tears with the sleeves of her gray knitted sweater that once belonged to Gilbert. She has owned the sweater since Christmas four years ago, a time when her world still knew Matthew's voice and Gilbert's love, and which felt like a decade ago to Anne. _"_

_"You wear the sweater all the time anyway, and you just look better in it than I ever could,"_ he had told her back then before he kissed her on the tip of the nose and pulled the gray garment made of knitted wool over her head, so that it can warm Anne, who would always favor his arms in order to be warmed. And although the sweater was old and way too big for her, she would always prefer it to expensive designer clothes that cost a lot of money but will never reach the value that this simple knitted sweater has and will always have for her.

With eyes wide open and ready to process her friend's question, she allowed Diana to enter the space, which was freezing cold and where the window was still open, that let all the coldness into the bedroom, which this December afternoon had to offer. While Anne threw herself on her bed, Diana rushed hastily to the opening, for the reason that she had to close it if she wanted to stay in this room for some time. "My God, Anne, how long has the window been open? It's a wonder you haven't caught your death yet." Diana looked worried as she made her way to Anne's bed, untying her shoelaces to get rid of her winter boots under which the snow clung that was slowly melting,

She had stowed them under the old wooden bed where the two friends used to lie next to each other as they shared secrets and talked about boys, doing things best friends do. Sitting on the edge of the bed she deliberated a moment whether to take off her coat, but decided against it due to the low temperature in the room. The sound of Anne's voice turned her attention to the actress, who was staring at the ceiling of the gable room with a blank expression in her eyes that gave Diana the impression that the emptiness of her eyes must be the result of the tears Anne wept.

"I've been waiting for him, Diana. From this morning until now I've been waiting for him to come." Anne had to sigh, giving her best so as not to cry more tears, but her heart didn't care, in which the pain lingered that only the tears could turn into something visible. Her heart was so exhausted, tired of crying endlessly and all it wanted was to be loved by the one to whom all the love in the world went that it harbored. "He never came."

"Who never came, Anne? Are you talking about Gilbert? Tell me what happened so I know why I'm going to strangle him with my bare hands?" Oh, Anne, will you give me an alibi when they find his body?" Diana knew that it was macabre talking about dead bodies considering the special day, but on the one hand she wanted to cheer her best friend up, on top of that she was curious about what had happened and on the other hand, she was always a very protective person, especially when it comes to the people she loves most. Sometimes she just can't help but bring this side of herself to light.

Anne appreciated Diana's words, which even managed to release a snort from the red-haired starlet. "Everyone will think I did it anyway, but of course I'll give you an alibi if I have to." The noise of her giggle reverberated for a short moment across the room and was gone as quickly as it came. That day didn't seem to have many moments left for Anne that included joy and laughter. All she wanted was to take her feathery pillow, press it firmly against her face, and scream into it, to let out all the emotions that only carved more agonizing and deeper scars into her heart.

Diana lay down on the bed with her friend, resting her head on Anne's shoulder the moment she looped her arm in the crook of Anne's elbow. "Good! I knew I could rely on you. So it's a done deal. Gilbert Blythe is a dead man!" She laughed but stopped immediately when she noticed the tense body language of Anne who had her gaze focused on a particular spot on the white-painted ceiling. 

The two friends found warmth under Anne's emerald green wool blanket, which was at least as important to her as the sweater that covered her torso. "But Diana, don't you want to hear what happened before you plan his murder?"

Diana studied Anne from the side, seeing the tension in her friend's features, which indicated and gave Diana an inkling that what had happened was leaving marks that weighed on Anne's chest, a burden that Anne wanted to get rid of, like Diana could see. "Then tell me what happened. I'm all ears, but I can't guarantee that Gilbert will be able to celebrate Christmas this year. It all depends on what you're about to tell me."

A silence fell over the room, giving Anne the time to sort through her thoughts, which were occupied by only one person, the one who promised to be there for her but wasn't, the one who told her that he loved her but with his actions put doubts in her head against which her heart tried to fight.

After a few minutes, which Diana spent patiently waiting for answers to her questions, not wanting to put any pressure on Anne, the redhead opened her mouth. "He told me he still loves me."

Her statement was accompanied by a deep sigh that contained all the frustration Anne was feeling, which confused Diana. She had the sentiment that Anne's words held a weight that she had not expected. The language of Anne's eyes last Sunday when she saw the man she wanted to build a future with for the first time in three years was so clear and told Diana that she had never lost this dream. Moreover, her gazes spoke of love and longing, which is why Diana was all the more surprised at the way her famous best friend expressed the statement in which a certain disbelief could be heard. The dark-haired woman's right eyebrow rose, causing two tiny creases to form in the gap between her left and right eyebrows, a quirk that pops up whenever something confuses her. "But that's a good thing, isn't it? I mean, you love him too, right?" She had to ask that question because it all makes no sense, at least not when Anne loved Gilbert in the same way he has loved her since the moment Anne entered his life.

Anne's gaze finally shifted from the ceiling to Diana, in whose dark brown eyes there were thousands of small question marks visible for Anne, waiting for an exclamation mark in blue eyes that did not appear. Anne stayed silent, either because she didn't want to say anything or because she just couldn't and so it was Diana who took the initiative, wanting to free Anne from all the doubts, that she knew was preventing the Lavender Fields actress from trying to see what was a fact. 

"Everyone in town knows that Gilbert still loves you. He has never loved anyone but you. There were enough women who showed interest in him, but he always turned them down with his typical polite Gilbert Blythe smile. We all hoped that you would come back one day, but Gilbert, he prayed for it. He will always love you, there is no doubt about that."

Anne needed movement, hoping that way to get rid of the heaviness she could feel all over her body, palpable in every fiber of her being and every single bone of her skeletal system. She came out from under the covers, slipped her feet into her white slippers, and began pacing the room. "What if he gives me reasons to doubt his love. I love him, Diana. I'm in love with Gilbert Blythe and have been for half of my life. There were moments when I denied my feelings for him, but deep down I knew that I had loved him all the time. I was in denial for three years, I had the privilege to be loved by him for three years and I had to live without his love for three years. I don't want to be without him any longer, but I'm not sure whether he feels the same way." Her hands shot in one direction and then the other, gesticulating wildly because she was just so desperate and didn't know whether to hold on to the faith that she was loved by him, which still had her heart, but decreased with every passing second.

Diana had to straighten up, leaning her back against the hard wooden headrest of the bed as she folded her hands in her lap and looked at Anne, who was walking around the room like a wild animal. "What gives you reason to doubt his love?" Anne's friend inquired questioningly. 

She saw that the young woman, to whom she asked her question, suddenly stopped in the middle of the room, standing on a round rag rug that was patched together from scraps of fabric, making Anne want to have all the pieces of her heart put together in a way how it once happened to the carpet, perhaps not with a needle and thread, but rather with his hands in which she wanted to put the crux of her existence, knowing how it feels to be protected by his warm palms, which always kept the fragility of her being with the greatest imaginable caution.

"He!" Anne muttered under her breath, making it difficult for Diana to understand her murmur. "He makes me doubt it. We almost kissed yesterday. If Marilla hadn't suddenly come home then we would have kissed for sure. Everything he did left me speechless, so much that I couldn't say it back. I couldn't tell him I love him even though I wanted to scream it from the top of my lungs. If I would have been able to speak I would have told him that I wanted to be his. I texted him last night telling him I wanted to spend Matthew's third anniversary of death with him and that I love him, but he never answered me. Now tell me, how am I supposed to believe that he loves me when he's not there when I need him. I don't just need him, Di! I want him. I want to love him. Someday he should be the father of my children because I cannot imagine anyone else I would like to raise my children with. I want to marry him in our orchard and spend the rest of my life by his side, but I suppose we don't want the same thing." 

How much Diana would have wished at this moment to find the right words to take away all the black shadows from Anne's thoughts, which were stealing her the clear view of what was always so obvious to everyone, the feelings Diana could have sworn are still there in the form of love that Gilbert Blythe only ever had for one person, the redhead who used to be his. Not knowing what to say or do, Diana covered her own mouth, running the pads of the index and middle fingers of her left hand over her cheek as she considered how best to help Anne, who was standing in the room with a stooped posture. It seemed as if she was about to let the ballast that the pain had loaded on her drag her to the ground.

"Anne!" Diana started when she got up from the bed and walked cautiously towards her red-haired friend. It was as if a paralysis had taken possession of Anne, who was rooted on the spot, not moving a bit. Her gaze held an emptiness, as if she had lost everything that she had to lose. She stared into the void, absent with her thoughts. The only thing that still indicated that she was physically there were the tears that rolled down from her long black eyelashes onto the carpet, in the structure of which they sank like a ship in the ocean, the bow and stern of which filled with water, that weighed it down like the pain in Anne's heart that sought relief when it expressed what her quivering lips could not. All that her ocean-blue eyes could still wear were pearls that tasted of salt on her lips, drops of the ocean in her eyes where a storm was raging. Controlled by the will to open Anne's eyes and to pull her out of the misery she was clearly in, the hands of the raven-haired beauty placed themselves on Anne's bony shoulders. Diana shook Anne, calling out her name repeatedly, until she could somehow reach her after what felt like an eternity to her.

"Anne, listen to me!" she said in a commanding tone. "Whatever you think, don't doubt his love for you for a second. I don't know why he hasn't answered you yet, but I'm sure there is a valid reason for that. You know Gilbert better than anyone else in the world, and you also know that this behavior is atypical for him. He will come, if not today, then tomorrow but he will come, I am sure of that, Anne. Do you want to know what makes me so sure? You! You are what he had longed for all these years and he certainly won't be so stupid as to let you go again. He loves you, believe me. For fucks sake, have some faith in him."

The worst part of crying is the breathlessness that comes with it, constricting Anne's throat with the noose of pain wrapped around her neck, making it impossible for her to let her breath out. Sometimes all the pain is so immense that she choked on the tears that were the bringer of what her heart felt, of grief and sorrow, of longing and unspeakable love. Her heart could no longer hold the massive weight and so it flooded her eyes, which released all the pain while Anne wept in Diana's arms for minutes until her heart ran out of tears. It took some time till the last sobs faded in the room, where otherwise only the irregular sound of her heavy breathing could be heard.

At some point she raised her head, puffy red eyes were visible on her face on whose cheeks the liquid that escaped her eyes was sticking. "Diana Barry since when have you been a person who cursed?" Her words were just a breaking whisper, but at least she had her ability to speak back, which released a relieved sigh from Diana's mouth.

Diana gave Anne a gentle smile, wiping the tears from her friend's face with the fingertips of her thumbs. "Ever since I had to deal with the bullshit of a certain redhead and a young man who is crazy about you. You can ask Cole how many times you've made me curse." She informed her friend, who had her hands tightly clasp around Diana's torso, evidently in search of a tether to keep herself from collapsing. Diana's forehead rested on Anne's in a way it had so often done in the past, whenever one of them sought the emotional support they always received from their friend.

"Are we really that bad?" Anne asked quietly.

"Hmm." The dark-haired woman hummed, having her eyes shut as she was nodding her head in confirmation. After she took a deep breath her dark almond eyes shot open, gazing into the depths of shimmering ocean-blue orbs.

"You're Anne and Gilbert and that's why I'm sure this is just one of your many misunderstandings. Just think of the winter dance of our sophomore year when you accepted Charlie Sloane's invitation to the dance because you assumed Gilbert would ask Winifred. Well, he did in the end, but only because he found out you were going to the dance with Charlie. Of all the people, it had to be Charlie Sloane. I saw how unhappy you two were when both of you were dancing with someone who wasn't you. I can give you a thousand other examples of misunderstandings between you, but if I did, we'd probably still be sitting here next year." She smiled reassuringly but had to add something to her hopefully eye-opening words.

"Are you now able to understand what I'm trying to tell you all the time? Just because you haven't had an answer yet doesn't mean Gilbert doesn't love you. Tell me, did you have the feeling yesterday that everything that happened between you two didn't feel real?"

In all these years Diana had seen enough to know that Anne's doubts were unfounded. She was the first to discover Gilbert's secret that he carried with him for years, admiring Anne from afar while he fell a little more in love with the passionate redhead every day. He was always anything but subtle when it came to Anne. His gaze lingered on her whenever he saw her and followed her everywhere she went. His eyes were like an overflowing cup that contained the feelings that exposed him. Diana was always one of the smarter students of her year and she liked to observe her surroundings, especially Gilbert and Anne. Gilbert Blythe loves Anne Shirley- Cuthbert the same way she loved him and no one could tell Diana otherwise, and certainly not Anne, who at that moment sat down on the floor, positioning herself cross-legged on the round rag rug with the fringes of which she was fiddling with.

The fringes were situated between her thumb, middle finger, and index finger, with which she examined the brightly colored frills, which were the colors of a rainbow. Anne also wished for a rainbow, the sign of hope that after the rain the sun could shine again for her and the pot of gold would be waiting for her at the end of it, happiness, showering her like a gold rush, a downpour made of his love, which yesterday and in all the years in which he doused her with it was the realest feeling she has ever known.

"No!" She shook her head vehemently as her messy ponytail swung in the air in the act and from which more strands of her red hair came loose. "Everything he did and said felt real. I could see it in his smile and the spark in his eyes that spoke nothing but the truth. Oh, Diana, I'm such an idiot. How could I even think for a second that he didn't love me? I'm so ashamed of myself. Still though, I wonder why he didn't come, albeit it was all I wanted."

"Don't blame yourself, Anne." Diana sat down next to the famous actress on the floor, seated across from her in the process of mirroring Anne's position, sitting there cross-legged just like her bosom friend. "You haven't seen each other in three years. I think after such a long time it's normal to have doubts about the other person's feelings, after all, many people lose the feeling that they once had for someone if they no longer see them every day. At least that's how it was for me when Jerry moved to France. He will always mean something to me, but love faded in time. We both knew from the start that what we had would eventually end. But what you and Gilbert have is something momentous, something everyone searches for their whole life, and only very few find. All I can advise you to do is to wait for him, because he has been doing that for three years. You've waited three years for each other, is it really that bad to wait a few hours or a day longer for him? The day has not yet come to an end, who knows, maybe Gilbert will come after all. I wouldn't give up hope if I were you."

Anne had to sigh, rubbing her temples to get rid of the pressure that had built up in her head while she was crying, which was making her head ache. "I think you're right. All I can do is wait. You are so brilliantly wise Diana. I am so glad to have a best friend like you. I'm sorry you had to think all these years I'd have forgotten you. I wrote Gilbert a letter back then, to which one was attached for you but for some inexplicable reason he never saw my letter. I never wanted to shut you both out of my life. The only thing I wanted was to escape the pain."

Outside Green Gables it was getting dark now, the moments that were just afternoon morphed step by step into the early hours of the evening. The time passed but the snow continued to fall gently and quietly over Avonlea and glittered in the glow of all the golden Christmas lights that adorned the small town. In Anne's room, Diana had just taken the hands of her bosom friend in her palms, having the feeling that her attempts to comfort Anne and open her eyes to the obvious had finally been crowned with success.

"I can understand all of this. Matthew's death hit you hard but Anne, grief is the price you pay for love. We all know how much he meant to you. You were his everything, his greatest joy and pride and he adored you so much, his little girl who became his daughter. If Gilbert had got your letter, everything would have probably taken a completely different course, but we can't change the past. You cannot regret anything that you have no influence on. All you have to decide from now on, Anne, is to live a life with no regrets. Look, you did what you thought was right. I don't see a failure that I have to forgive. You're my best friend. Years ago we solemnly swore to be faithful as long as the sun and moon shall endure. I will never break our oath, for there is no better bosom friend than you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert."

Anne smiled meekly, feeling some of the ballast that was weighing on her reduce. All she had in her heart at that moment was gratitude for the young woman who squeezed her hands reassuringly. "Thanks for everything, Diana. I don't know what I would have done today without you. You are an angel. Do you know that?" She brought Diana's hands to her lips and placed a kiss on them as a token of gratitude and friendship.

The two friends lay down on the floor and when they told each other how they had been in the past and what they had done, the room, which was initially so icy, didn't feel so cold anymore. The space between the four walls was filled with cheerful chatter, giggles and laughter and somehow hope crept back into Anne's heart that suddenly began to race, when the dull sound of a honking car rang through her bedroom, the horn of a red truck that had reached the grounds of Green Gables.

* * *

Diana was the first to leave the farmhouse that evening, her hands clenched into fists buried in the pockets of her royal blue winter coat as she stomped through the piled snow, furiously approaching the young man who was leaning his back against the red truck that was once his father's, his arms crossed while his lips held a casual smile that dropped the instant he saw Diana walking towards him, grinding her teeth in rage.

"Good evening Diana, how nice to see---" Gilbert began but was interrupted when he felt the impact of her hand against his cheek, causing his face to jolt to the right side. Diana had punched him in the face and she seemed proud of it, even if her hand hurt afterward. 

"Ouch- Fuck." Both said at the same time but Diana was angry with Gilbert and lost control of her composure, now being in a fit of fury directed against the one who caused her best friend so much distress that day. "Fuck, Blythe, is your jaw made of stone? Damn it, that hurt." She had to moan after she had slapped him square in the face, waving her hand in the air to get rid of the pain that was burning in the layer of her hand.

Unable to believe what had just happened, Gilbert shook his head, snow-covered locks losing their white blanket in the act. Promptly afterward, he placed his face in the hollow between the thumb and index finger of his right hand, rubbing his cheek, on which the blow he had just received could still be felt. He surely did not expect the strength of the petite woman in front of him. "Can you tell me why you hit me? Did I do anything to you that gave you a reason to do so, because I think I always treated you with the utmost respect? What made you so angry that you had to slap me? he asked. His left eyebrow was raised while his hands, which wanted nothing more than to hold Anne, went into his trouser pockets, desiring to keep them warm, in order to later warm the beautiful soul, for whom he had longed for the whole day. 

Meanwhile, Diana let out an exaggerated sigh. Not only was she mad at Gilbert, but also at herself, for he was right. If there was one thing Gilbert Blythe had treated her within the almost 20 years she had known him, it was respect. "I-I-I'm sorry, Gilbert. I don't know what got into me. Today is a sorrowful and tough day for Anne and all she wanted was you. She thought you wouldn't come and somehow everything was a little too much today. I'm so sorry that I hit you." 

Her apology was sincere and was received by Gilbert with a nod of his head. "It's fine, Diana. I can imagine that it must have been a trying day so far. Is Anne okay though? Do I have to worry? I've spent all day preparing a surprise for her. That's why I'm only coming now. I've been outside all day and then I drove home quickly to take a shower and warm up a bit. I would never dare to leave her alone that day. I love her and I know now that she loves me too." There was a glitz in his hazel eyes that shone brighter than a Christmas tree with millions of lights could ever do, stars danced around his irises keeping the secret of his love in the window of his soul that was waiting for its soul mate. On his lips was the smile that the knowledge of being loved by her put there and should only be replaced by the kiss he had waited three years for. For the first time in a long time, he looked genuinely happy.

Diana's thin lips twitched, smiling hopefully. "Does that mean you got her text message after all?"

"Yeah!" He breathed as he couldn't stop smiling like someone who has just won the lottery jackpot, a pot of gold, or in his case the love of his life. He paced up and down in front of his truck. Nervousness made itself felt in his body since he had been waiting for Anne for quite a while, but assumed that she would use the time to get ready even if he thought it was unnecessary. If there was one thing he loved most about her, it was her rawness. She doesn't need any make-up or perfume. For him, she has always been the most beautiful woman, no matter what color her face wore or what odor her physique gave off. First and foremost he loves the blushing of her cheeks and the smell of ecstasy after his body had loved her, his heart melted in hers and his soul tangled up with her own, loving her with his all.

"My battery was empty because I forgot to charge it yesterday. Otherwise, I would have contacted her. I read her message and then my phone went off. But unfortunately, I didn't have time to go to Green Gables because I had to run some errands for the surprise." He informed Diana, drawing a heart in the snow with the sole of his right leathery black winter boot.

A laugh escaped Diana's trembling mouth. The evening that had arrived was even colder than the day, but that didn't matter at the moment, not when Anne and Gilbert were only a few steps away from getting back together. Diana wished it so much for the two who were so dear to her. "You two will take me to an early grave someday. I hope your surprise is good enough to sweep her off her feet." She humored in jest, dropping her gloves on the floor as she heard footsteps approaching behind her back in the crunching snow.

"Did I hear the word surprise?"

Gilbert's eyes lit up. There she stood, his spark in the dark, his firework that shot all the colors into the darkness of the evening, that colored his world. The alluring fiery red of her hair in the color of love cascaded over her shoulders in stormy waves through which he desired to run his fingers even though he knew that he couldn't tame her tresses as well as her tempered self. She was his perfect storm and he wanted nothing else, just his hurricane in whose vortex he wanted to be carried away to dive deep into the crux of her existence in order to be loved by her. 

Anne's thick tendrils, blowing in the wintry gust of wind, contrasted stark with her emerald green winter coat in the color of hope, which she had tightened with a belt to accentuate her waistline, revealing curvy hills and valleys, over which he wanted to travel with his dry lips, which had to thirst for her love for three agonizingly long years. In the wildest winter, the goddess of his heart had found him. She was his hope in the arid desert in which he longed for her all the time, and all he craved for was to get permission to be endowed with the privilege to rediscover his oasis of love, which was the only fountain for him that would be able to keep him from drying out. Anne's eyes that a few hours earlier held nothing but emptiness shimmered in a blue that spoke of devotion, never being able to love anyone other than the young man, through whose body all the light went, which reflected like a mosaic in Anne's luminosity, composed of the pieces that both had taken into their hands to glue the shards of their hearts together, with love and fingers that just wanted to hold each other. Staring at each other, they looked at each other in a way that everyone wishes to be looked at, as if they were the only people on the planet, creating a universe of their own which only consisted of Anne and Gilbert.

Watching her two friends get lost in each other's aura was the cue for Diana to say goodbye. She cleared her throat, bursting the bubble Anne and Gilbert were in when they gave each other the smiles that they put on each other's lips. "I'm sorry to interrupt your moment, but I guess that's the cue for me to leave. I want to hear from you guys by Christmas that you're back together. Do you understand me? So have fun tonight even if I don't know what exactly you're going to do." She bid her friends farewell, winking at both of them before blowing an air kiss to Anne, which the redhead caught and placed on her heart, watching Diana who disappeared into the darkness of the evening. She was leaving two people behind who were standing at a crossroads and had to face the most important decisions of their lives when they gazed into waters, so inviting that they wanted to jump right into it to irrigate a love that should grow from day to week to month to year to eternity.

It was Gilbert's cough that caused Anne, who looked into the distance, into which Diana had just disappeared, to jump. She swirled around, turning to Gilbert, who couldn't get rid of the smile that was glued to his face, but he didn't want that either, for that he liked the feeling of his raised lips too much to let it go.

"Are you ready Anne-girl? he asked her, using the nickname that gave her heart wings as he held out his hand for her, waiting for her to reach for it. His words had a double meaning, asking her if she was ready for the evening and the surprise but also if she was ready to let him in, into her arms and her heart, which he had resolved to occupy forever, provided he was allowed access there.

"I've never felt more ready for anything," she replied, accepting his hand, which he brought to his lips and placed a kiss on the knuckle under the ring finger of her left hand, over which one day he would like to slip the gold band with the emerald green stone that once belonged to his mother, and which was the most valuable piece that she left him, not because of the material value, but the emotional one, after all, what belonged to the woman who had gifted him the light of the world will in the future belong to the woman who is the world for him and this thought alone thrilled him enormously.

They held hands and grinned at each other like two lovesick fools. Gilbert led Anne to the passenger side of the truck, its tires covered in mud and snow. 

"Why are your hands always so warm?" She suddenly blurted, her cheeks a red color that matched her hair, and was painted there by him and the way his fingertips caressed the layer of her small hand. "I-I I mean, your hands are never cold, they never were. How do you do that? Mine are always cold, regardless of whether it's summer or winter, but in your hands, Gil, they always melt."

Gilbert had to smile, never stopping to hold her hand, not even when he opened the passenger door of the truck for her. She looked at him with her big blue eyes and he couldn't help but lose himself in them. "Probably so I can warm your hands, Anne-girl. Maybe they're made to keep you warm. I'm of the opinion that everything I'm made of is made to keep you warm."

The man who stood next to her in the meter-high snow and released his hand from hers as he put it tenderly on her back to help her into his truck was made to love her. She was sure of it when her heart foamed with happiness and went up in flames, fanned by the touch of his hands and the warm gentleness with which he treated her.

"Now hop in. A surprise is waiting for you." He helped her into the truck, holding her hand as she sat down, sinking into the leather cushion of the seat, which made a small squeaky noise with every movement. Gilbert had to lean over her to put her seat belt on. Of course, Anne could have buckled up herself, but she enjoyed his attention and the close proximity to him, smiling shyly the moment his fingers brushed against her breast region in the act of keeping her safe.

"I just want to make sure you don't run away from me anymore cause I know that you're pretty good at that." He crossed the belt over her upper body and fastened it, blinking with his eyes that reflected what hers were holding, love, there was nothing but love in them to see. He then kissed her forehead, inhaling the scent of lavender, the fragrance of her hair, on which he immediately laid a second kiss. 

"You still smell the same as when you left." It was a sentimental whisper that left his lips, which were still lingering on her head. "Nothing in this world smells as good as you Anne-girl. You smell of home, and right at this moment I realize how homesick I have been for you in the last few years."

There it was again that feeling of breathlessness that his actions left in her but that had the typical Gilbert Blythe effect, who doesn't even have to try to take her breath away, because everything he does was predatory, stealing her voice, her words, her breath and, first and foremost, her heart.

Sitting on the black upholstered leather seat of the truck, Anne shifted her body a bit more towards him, following the magnetism that lives in him and her, because hearts are like magnets, they attract each other when they find what their gravity pulls off balance. She led her hand to his face, cupping his cheek tenderly over which she ran the tips of her fingers, first grazing his jawline with her enfoldment and then with her lips, which left an imprint of her burgundy red lipstick on his jawbone.

"I felt the same homesickness for you. Gil, I know that you are afraid that I might leave you one more time, but I want you to know that I'm tired of running away from my feelings. You brought me back and even if I have to go back to Los Angeles, at least I work there, I know that everything will be different this time." She tried to reassure him, which apparently worked, or so it seemed when he gave her a sunny smile and nodded his head. 

"Everything will be different this time." Gilbert repeated the last sentence of her utterance, which contained words full of hope. He would travel to the end of the world for her if he had to and so he secretly wondered if he could be happy in Los Angeles, but found his answer when Anne pressed another kiss against his cheek, now on the opposite side as before where she marked his skin with the stamp of her affection. 

One last time she used her forefinger to run along the lines of his features. "It's cold outside, Gil. Come on and get in the car so you can take me to the surprise you're talking about all the time. You know I actually hate surprises, don't you? It always makes me so nervous not knowing what to expect. Besides, I don't need anything like that, not when all I need is here with me." The hand that left his face found a new place on her mouth, which she covered as her giggle echoed through the interior of the truck, which smelled of Gilbert, the scent of apple fragrant with a hint of cinnamon and musk, the scent that smelled like home to her.

"Your wish is my command, Anne-girl. My surprise is not much and of course, I have not forgotten that you are not necessarily the biggest fan of such things, but I just wanted to do something for you." His lips curled up one more time but the smile that lingered there for some moments left his lips when he pursed them, brushing her forehead tenderly with his mouth. "Still though, I hope you will like it." He then closed the passenger door and rounded the car, followed by Anne's gaze, which she could no longer take away from him.

Smiling, he opened the driver's door and got into the truck that was supposed to bring him and the beauty that captured his heart to their destination. He put the key in the cylinder lock of the vehicle, the engine roaring loudly as it started. His left hand was clutching the steering wheel of the old Ford while his right hand sought the touch of her, grasping the hand folded in her lap, which he took in his, exiting the Green Gables terrain with her by his side, as they drove through the darkness that seemed brighter that evening than on other days in the past.

* * *

"Let me guess, we're going to our old school, right? At least that's where we met."

Anne's question was her fifth attempt to find out where the journey would take them. At first, she suspected that he was driving towards Barry's Pond, which she once named the lake of shining waters but her suspicions were not confirmed when Gilbert did not take the junction that would have led there. She thought of the church, where they found each other after three years, and of the café on Cornelia Street, where they used to study together, but he drove past all of these places. Maybe he would drive to his apartment, which had to be near Avonlea High, after all, he had told her that last Sunday. She still thought about a few possibilities, but many more ideas did not come to her mind and Gilbert was also no help in finding answers to her questions when he gave her a dopey grin, eyeing her from the corners of his hazel eyes.

"Nope!" He popped the p, shaking his head as he chuckled with narrowed eyes, his cheeks heaving that were still carrying the feel of fire that her kisses had branded his skin with. "It's not called surprise for nothing. What's the point in revealing what we're going to do, huh?"

"I would feel better. The expectation is killing me. Please, Gil, just a hint." Anne begged, with a pout, that Gilbert wanted to kiss so badly. 

'You're just too cute." He gave her his Anne smile, the smile that he always reserved for her and that brought a luminosity to his eyes that was dazzling and was able to invoke a redness on her face. "But as cute as you are, my lips stay sealed anyway. You will have to wait a few minutes more. Do you think you can do this for me?" 

His question was answered with an eye roll from Anne, which Gilbert, who had focused his gaze on the street, did not notice. But it was a typical Anne thing to do and even though the two hadn't seen each other for three years, everything felt so natural with her, which made them quickly fall back into this intimacy between each other, which came like second nature and felt like a routine, given that with her everything felt as easy as breathing to him.

Gilbert, who has a habit of taking off his jacket while driving the car, felt her two small hands clasped around his right arm. As she bobbed impatiently up and down in her seat, she pulled his forearm, which was wrapped in the gray-blue fabric of his shirt sleeve, through which she felt his strong veins, the contours of which were clearly more palpable than usual due to the tension in his arms.

"All I ask for is a single clue. It is torture not to know what to expect. What if you take me to a fancy restaurant and I am not appropriately dressed for it? That would be so embarrassing, Gil." With her words she had uttered, Anne managed to get his attention for a brief moment, giving her the chance to glare deep into his eyes, which sparkled with amusement. 

"Anne-girl! First of all, you look perfect. But that's nothing new, after all, you are the definition of perfection to me." He had to grin, trying to stifle a laugh instead. "You are worse than a little child before Christmas morning who cannot wait to open the presents under the Christmas tree. Be patient, we will reach our destination soon enough." He was amused by her childish attitude, blinking his eyes before his focus fell back to the road that lay ahead of them.

The snow had stopped falling from the clouds, which obviously needed a break after having worked non-stop for the past few days to graze Avonlea with the kisses of winter. The cold feathers descending from the sky over Avonlea embellished everything they covered, glittering like silver sequins in the light of the street lamps Gilbert and Anne passed. Normally such a natural spectacle would astonish Anne, but she was too busy trying to lure information out of Gilbert. 

A small smile danced around her lips as she decided to change her tactics, her hands still clasped around his arm, the movement of which she felt as he turned the steering wheel. She ran the cushions of her pointer finger over the lines of his vein, her touch dripping through his shirt as it sent a shiver from the top to the bottom of his body, making him twitch in his seat. He tried to focus on the roads of Avonlea he was crossing, but damn it, she made it hard for him to concentrate on snow-covered streets when her pats were driving him crazy. 

"Anne-girl, I have to concentrate on driving, but I can't do that if you do things like that that make me want to kiss you here and now." A heavy sigh escaped his lips, which wished to lie on her burgundy painted red ones. Her touch was intoxicating, a syringe that she injected into his vein that was medicine for his heart. He knew all too well how addicting the red pout is, whose under lip was positioned between her teeth right now, biting her lip while she eyed him longingly from the side. 

"Why don't you just do it? I'm sure we want the same thing, so why haven't you kissed me yet?" Her question was accompanied by the reddening of her cheeks. She felt like she sounded desperate, but maybe she just was. For three years she could only kiss his lips in her dreams when he visited her at night in her sleep. She stood above water for thirty-six months, waiting for the moment until he would pull her under it to drown her in his love. She didn't want dreams anymore, she wanted the reality, falling into the cushions of his mouth which was always the gentlest feeling that ever reached her lips. She didn't want a dry mouth either. All she wanted was the watering of her lips by his.

Her head was buried in his biceps as the red truck came to a halt at a red light, offering Gilbert the opportunity to shift his attention from the almost empty street that evening to Anne, who was a little embarrassed after her bold question. 

"For the record…" Gilbert started, nudging her forehead gently causing her to lift her head slightly. She looked at him with wide eyes and waited for him to open his mouth to continue what he was going to say, which he then did. "If Marilla hadn't interrupted us, we would have kissed yesterday. Damn Anne, I've been waiting to kiss you for three years. I promise you will get your kiss today, but you have to wait a little longer. Our first kiss after three years shouldn't happen in my old truck, even if I've made pretty good memories here with you in the past." Gilbert had the boldness to wink at her, waking memories of steamed-up windows and intertwined fingers in Anne, old days when they made love in the cramped driver's cab of the old truck they were now in.

"You are impossible, Gilbert Blythe." Anne huffed, crossing her arms over her chest the moment she fell backward into the black leather upholstery of the seat. Her cheeks flushed for the umpteenth time, but there was a mild smile on her lips, anticipating the moment he had promised her.

Gilbert leaned over to give her a kiss on her temple. "Admit it, you love me anyway." His whisper sounded through the interior of the car, quickening the rhythm of her heart, which was drumming against her chest, and was set by the young man who will always be her drummer boy. 

No one else will ever be able to influence the beating of her heart or the functioning of her lungs as he did, being able to fill them with so much, but at the same time-consuming everything in them, her love and her breath, the entire contents of her rib cage around which his roots grew. His ivy grew over the years, spreading around her heart and now she was covered in him. As time went by, the tendrils grew, watered by wistful thoughts and a love that didn't wither, but now they reached the length so that he could climb back into the cave that is his home where he belongs.

"I have to wait to be kissed by you so you can wait to hear the l-word from me. But I promise you, Gil, you will hear it from me tonight." Her lips quivered as she tried to stifle the laugh that was about to be let out. It was a strange feeling to find back to who they were so quickly after all this time, they were just Gilbert and Anne, two friends, lovers, and kindred spirits who spoke the same language that they had never forgotten in all these years.

The lights had turned green in the meantime and they were back on the road. At an intersection, Gilbert looked left and right, activated the indicator before reeling the steering wheel to the left as they turned into a street at the end of which the vehicle came to a stop in a parking lot. He unbuckled his seatbelt and then Anne's, looking at her before cupping her chin in his right hand, fondly caressing it with his thumb.

"Touché but I don't have to hear it from you to know that you love me. The proof is on my phone in the message inbox of which the words P.S. I love you can be found framed in two hearts. You don't even know how happy it made me this morning to read that." The stars she put in there shone in his eyes, and everything that his expression spoke of at that second was pure happiness.

He then kissed her nose, his smile that was on his lips palpable for her on the tip of it. "You love me!" He kissed her forehead. "You love me." The next kiss was gently placed on her temple by his lips. "You love me and do you know what, Anne-girl? I love you too. There is no other woman for me but you. It always has been and always will be, you." He kissed her again, this time on the space between her mouth and her nose, brushing his lips with all tenderness over her upper lip, which he teased with his touch.

Anne had to giggle. "You are such a cheesy dork."

"As long as I'm your dork, I can live with it." He had told her just as he took her hands in his, leading them to his mouth. This time, however, he didn't kiss her on the layer of her skin, instead he blew into the palms of her hands, tickling her with the breath she wanted to share with him that evening. 

When he put her hands back in her lap, still holding her left hand, his expression became more serious. "I love you, Anne-girl, and for this reason, I wanted to do something very special for you on that day that I know is painful for you. You once said that Matthew was the first person to show you what it felt like to be loved and I feel privileged to be able to give you a different kind of love. I knew the pain in your heart because I always feel the same way on the anniversary of my father's death. I always have to be close to him, which is why I always visit his grave that day. Marilla told me that you haven't been to Matthew's grave since his funeral three years ago and I really don't want to push you into anything but I think he misses you. That's why I took you to the cemetery. You can talk to him, that always helps me, or you can just speak a silent prayer. You can do anything you feel ready to do. I just thought that maybe it would help you make the pain more tolerable."

Anne had expected many things, but certainly not that. When Matthew died, she and Marilla were faced with the decision to either have him buried in the family grave on Green Gables, where his brother Michael and his parents had their final resting place, or in the Avonlea cemetery, where his childhood sweetheart Jeannie was buried two years before he died. Many people in Avonlea said she died of a broken heart. She and Matthew had a Tragical romance, a love that could not be lived out during their lifetime. In order not to have this cloud of grief hovering over Green Gables forever, they let Matthew be buried next to Jeannie, hoping that they could love each other in their afterlife.

She looked out the window, the dark night sky looked brighter than usual, for the reason that the snow that covered the city made everything appear more aglow. Street lights lit up the area and Anne realized that they had indeed parked in the cemetery parking lot. A torrent of anxiety began to bubble in her stomach. It wasn't the fear of going to his grave that worried her but rather the angst of losing control of her emotions. But she didn't want to flee the pain anymore, but neither did she want to have to go through it alone.

The actress turned her gaze to Gilbert, who exuded the calm she needed right now. He was her shelter in the stormy days of her life, keeping her from being carried away by the chaos in her soul, and if there was anyone in whose presence she wanted to show her fragility and vulnerability, it was him. "Are you coming with me, Gil? I want to try, but I can't do this alone." 

There was a hopeful tone to her words that Gilbert could not ignore, who would never dare shatter the hope of the woman he would follow anywhere. "What kind of question is that anyway? Of course I'll come with you, Anne-girl. I certainly didn't take you to the cemetery so you had to do everything by yourself. Just let me know when you're ready and we'll go together to his grave." On her left hand, which he had not let go of once since arriving at the cemetery, he placed a soothing kiss that dipped into the pores of her epidermis like a balm for her ailing soul and took away her fear of everything.

She counted to ten in her head in an attempt to calm her nerves just before she inhaled the odor of the truck's interior, which smelled so much of Gilbert, his perfume with the note of apple, cinnamon, and musk but also after his breath, the smell of peppermint, which somehow made it possible to stimulate her and her nerves to bring some reassurance. Taking a last deep breath, she squeezed his hand, which was so much larger than hers but fitted into hers as if it was made for it, custom-made by his makers who couldn't have created a more perfect version of a man for Anne.

"I'm ready Gil. Let's go see Matthew." After a few minutes of gathering her nerves and thoughts, she informed him in a low whisper, but it held determination. If there was one thing she had enough of, it was running away from her feelings. Maybe she had to come back home to her hometown first to learn this. Healing happens by feeling and in the last few days Anne felt a lot, there was pain and sadness, hope and despair, but in the first place, she felt love, that of a mother who could take her child in her arms again after three years, the love of friends who showed her forgiveness and first of all the love of the man who led her back home. Anne found healing in all forms of love. A warm hug and words of forgiveness, as well as kisses and fingertips, closed the wounds she will always bear. And although she knew that her scarred heart would be scarred for a lifetime, and days will come when the pain will bury her under the burden, she was no longer afraid of it. Fear and pain left her with the December evening breeze when Gilbert opened the passenger door and extended his hand to her, knowing he would carry future torments with her, sharing pain as well as the love and laughter she got back in Avonlea. Yes, love is healing, the best medicine for a broken heart.

* * *

Anne clung to Gilbert's stature, her arm looped into the crook of his elbow while her head rested on his shoulder. The cemetery was empty on this cold evening and for the first time, Anne really noticed the area where her beloved Matthew was laid to rest. When Matthew was buried, her perceptual abilities were handicapped, filled with pain that cast a gray haze over her eyes and blurred everything that happened around her, which now left a vague memory in her cerebrum. The howling of an owl sitting in one of the bare trees and the fluttering noise of the flapping of wings of winter birds that hovered over the cemetery in those dark hours of the day accompanied the icy flurry of air that hurled through the terrain that was covered by the blanket of winter. The snow crackled with every step under the winter boots of Anne and Gilbert, who were slowly approaching the part of the cemetery where Matthew's grave was located. Their path was illuminated by lampposts and grave candles that grieving people had placed on the graves of their loved ones. While the cemetery might have looked gray and dreary during the day, it looked less frightening in the evening with all the lights and the stillness belonging to the season.

There weren't many steps left to the junction that would lead to their final destination, giving Gilbert an opportunity to check in on her. "Are you all right, Anne-girl? I want you to know that you don't have to do any of this if you don't feel like it. Nobody is forcing you to do it. You alone have to decide whether you are ready for this step or not." As he addressed his words to the redhead by his side, he crossed his left arm over his upper body, laying it on the emerald green fabric of her coat, or rather on her left arm, which was still entwined with his right one, brushing over her arm soothingly. 

Anne shook her head, tresses of fire rustling against his defined biceps on which her head lay, connected to her anchorage to keep herself on the ground. "I'm fine. I want to do this. Somehow I feel like I have to do it. It's been three years and sometimes it feels like he's still there but other days I'm scared of losing my memory of him. I want to be close to him and think about all the beautiful moments I had with Matthew. And I can't think of a better person to do that with than you." She stated in a strong voice, in which the love could be heard, which was meant for Matthew and the young man at her side, with whom she would get through anything.

He is her anchorage and her lighthouse, the safe haven in which she came back and anchored in the heart that loves in waves, sometimes stormy like a typhoon, other times gentle like a snowfall, bestowing her heart with a blizzard full of kisses, falling into the cushion of her epicenter that has found her home in him. His love stopped time and made eternity begin. He wasn't a 'what if' or a 'maybe'. Gilbert Blythe was her 'yes', the face she saw in her future, the man who will lull her children to sleep and wear a ring on his finger she put on it. He is her beginning and end, the one with which she all experienced her first times and wanted to have her last ones.

Anne desired his eyes, so she raised her head, tilting it a little to her left side to lock her orbs with his. Her mouth curved in a slight smile and although her eyes held a certain melancholy, it reached her irises."Thank you for everything, Gil, for coming and keeping your promise. I was so insecure when I came back to Avonlea because I didn't know how you would all receive my return. You would have had every reason to hate me, but instead, you love me and even if I'm not sure I deserve it, there is nothing that makes me happier than knowing I'm loved by you." Anne raised her right hand to his face, cupping his cheek to draw him closer to her, following her heart that wanted to stick him to her so that she never had to let him go again. She eyed his face for a moment, his hazel eyes, in which a warm fire burned, his strong jawline carved to perfection by the gods. Her gaze led to his nose, on which little stars danced, and as much as she detested her own freckles, she adored his. In her hand, she held his splendid chin over that she brushed her thumb, with her action kindling a smile on his lips that she wanted to replace with the collision of her mouth. 

"Anne-girl!" Gilbert breathed, the expulsion of his exhalation visible in the air, seeing her lips slowly nearing his, leaning in to do what he had promised her but she didn't want to wait for any longer. Her breath tickled his lips while she put her left arm around his neck. His hands stabilized her back, enveloping her like a mussel does with a pearl, protecting the most precious thing he possesses.

"Mr. Blythe!"

Anne's lips were about to meet his but had to part with him when a woman's voice called his name. So she pulled away from him, disconnecting her left hand from the back of his neck as she took his right hand in it, dangling between their bodies. "Not again! Will I never be able to kiss you without an interruption?" she muttered. Her words left her mouth with a slightly annoyed sounding ring to her voice at the time she watched a middle-aged woman making her way to them.

Gilbert pulled her closer, pressing her side against his just as he jolted his head a bit, bringing his lips to her ear to whisper something into it. "You will get your kiss later. So don't worry about that, but I have to admit that it turns me on a bit, how desperate you are to kiss me." His words came along with a chuckle and were answered by Anne with a gentle nudge of her elbow right into his Costal arch.

"Ouch, Anne-girl. You bruised me." He humored while his chuckle grew louder.

Anne had to laugh merrily. "I think the only thing that is bruised is your ego."

On the grounds of the cemetery, his chuckle and her laughter had just faded in the crisp evening breeze when the lady who called his name a few moments earlier reached the two of them, holding a white candle in her hand that was flickering in the wind. "Good evening, Mr. Blythe. I heard voices and since the cemetery is usually already closed at this time, I thought it could only be you. I just wanted to inform you that everything is ready." The woman, dressed in a gray wool coat and black trousers, wore a warm smile as she greeted them, turning her attention to Anne, who had only one question on her mind that she couldn't keep to herself any longer.

"Who are you?" She blurted, curiously eyeing the lady standing in front of her and Gilbert who had one hand buried in one of the pockets of her coat while the other was warmed by black leather gloves and held the candle. "I'm sorry. It's just that I wasn't expecting any more people here at this time." Anne apologized, squeezing Gilbert's hand which he squeezed back.

He then kissed her on the cheek before turning his attentiveness back to the woman who smiled a knowing smile to introduce her to the redhead. "Anne-girl, this is Marjorie Finley. Marjorie works for the cemetery administration and has been a huge help all day. As Mrs. Finley mentioned, the cemetery is usually closed at this time of day but she made an exception for us. There is a reason why I brought you here at this hour that you will soon find out. "

Gazing fondly at him, Anne just nodded. "Oh, okay."

Marjorie held out the hand that just found warmth in her jacket pocket. "It's an honor to meet you, Ms. Shirley-Cuthbert. You look even prettier than you do on TV. Well, you need to know that I'm a huge fan of Lavender Fields and your excellent acting. I still can't believe you didn't win the Emmy. For me, you're definitely the winner." Mrs. Finley started rambling, gushing about Anne's work, which made the actress smile proudly.

Anne has always received such things with the greatest gratitude. Life in public has its downsides, but moments like these always manage to discern positive aspects of her work for Anne. Most of Lavender Fields' fans in the past few years have responded with the respect she wished for and showed her their enormous admiration for her work and even if she loathed parts that go with her job, her fans were not among them for which she felt nothing but gratitude.

"Please call me Anne," Anne said, shaking the hand that wasn't holding Gilbert's with Marjorie. "Thank you for your kind words. That means a lot to me. There is nothing better for an artist than to hear that the work you put so much emotion into is well received by the audience. So thank you very much for your words, Mrs. Finley. "

"You're welcome, dear, but they were just words of truth. Oh, I can't wait to tell my husband about meeting you. He'll be bursting with envy when I tell him I got to meet the famous Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. You have to know that my husband and I adore your work. But that is also my cue to leave. My dear Robert is probably already waiting for me back home." 

Marjorie then said goodbye to both of them but turned around one last time when it occurred to her that she had forgotten something. "Wait, Anne, I almost forgot. The candle is for you. Mr. Blythe thought you would like to put something on your father's grave," she told her and then leaned to one side to say something to Anne in private. "I've never seen a man look at a woman the way Mr. Blythe looks at you. Not even my husband looks at me that way. Mark my words when I say that he's definitely a keeper." The words Gilbert was not supposed to hear were the last words Marjorie spoke to the red-haired actress in a whisper. In the darkness of the winter evening, she disappeared wearing a smile on her lips that bore the knowledge of leaving behind two people who were meant for each other.

Kissing her cheek, Gilbert led Anne to the path that would finally lead them to Matthew's grave. "Sometimes I forget that you are a celebrity. To me, you are just my Anne, the girl with the two braids that I fell in love with years ago and has never stopped loving since," he told her, inhaling the scent of winter that had the odor of freshness and the feeling of New beginnings.

Anne smiled at him, still unable to believe that even though such a long time had passed he still loves her. "That's all I wanna be for you. You know me in and out, by that I mean the real me and not what other people read in magazines or see on TV screens. You know every one of my expressions, my smile, the contents of my eyes and my heart, everything. And you can tell when I feel something or just pretend I feel it. To you, I am Anne Of Green Gables, and you take me as I am, with all my imperfections that I have learned to love thanks to you. And that's all I wanted, all I ever wanted was to be loved by you for who I am."

Gilbert had to grin, feeling lighter than he ever had. "It's called love, Anne-girl. All I do is love you."

"Yeah, love." She breathed heavily, her breath hitting the cold air.

The way they walked side by side through the meter-high snow, she wanted to go through life with him, without further heart breaks and long distances that separate her from him. He was a great deal, the best she could imagine and this she wanted to secure for a future in which her home will always be in him, his heart in which he let her and is built by walls in between of which she found the safest place in the world.

She stopped just before the bend, behind which was the place where Matthew was buried, pulling Gilbert's hand, which she was holding to get his attention, which she realized when she raised her head to look at him was always with her.

"Do you think that my job will become a problem for you in the future? It is not easy to lead a public life and you would belong to it. That would be the price you would have to pay if you want to be with me. The thing is that I don't know if I can ask that of you, after all, you live a quiet life here in Avonlea and I don't want to drag you into something that you might one day regret." Her question came with a nervous bite of her lip, not knowing what to expect in response, which he gave her in the form of a kiss on her forehead.

His forehead found a place on hers, sharing warmth in those wintry evening hours. He had his eyes closed, his head tilted so the tip of his nose was pressed against hers. "Anne-girl, how am I ever to regret a life with you? You are all I need and teachers are needed everywhere. There are sure to be schools in Los Angeles that are looking for new teachers. I want to be the man of the bride of adventure and have all of my adventures with you. I want to be where you are and if I have to move to L.A. to be with you, so be it. I would travel to the end of the world for you because my place is by your side and I am so enormously grateful that you have reserved this for me over all these years." 

The breath, which smelled of candy canes, tickled Anne's face as he spoke, smelling of the home he apparently wanted to build with her in the Hollywood Hills. 

"You would give up your life in Avonlea for me and move to Los Angeles?" Anne asked incredulously, finding the answer in his eyes, which could say with a single glance what needed no words. Anne was always a fire-haired dreamer whose dream was always him and when she looked into the eyes that reflected her love she knew that Gilbert also had dreams and that she was his greatest. Suddenly she started stammering, having trouble finding the right words for what his words and his gaze revealed, "I- I- I don't know what to say."

He smiled gently at her, feeling all the butterflies dancing in his stomach, their wings flapping against his ribs all evening long. "You don't have to say anything, Anne-girl. If you want me to, I'll go with you to Los Angeles. I don't want to be without you any longer, but we have all the time in the world to plan everything." His nose rubbed against hers, expressing all the adoration every part of his being harbored for her. A moment later, a cold draft came up, causing Gilbert to separate his face from hers. "Come on now and let's go see Matthew before it starts snowing again. That would be counterproductive for all that I have prepared." 

Looking deep into his eyes, Anne wove her delicate fingertips of her free hand through Gilbert's hair. "Yes, let's go to Matthew," she replied to his suggestion the moment she rested her head on the spot where her favorite song was playing, a harmony of rhythmic beats and drums performed by the turntable of his being that played ballads that his heart wrote solely for her. Gilbert slung his arm around her shoulders, feeling the weight of her head that rested under his chin, placed on his thorax where she could hear the booming sound of his heart through the thick layer of his red plaid coat.

Together they then made their way to their actual destination, Matthew's grave, which Anne had never visited since his funeral. The fear she had before taking this so important step, disappeared in the midst of loving words and all the touches that went deeper than just settling on the layers of her skin. Everything he did reached her heart, which found the courage to feel, to love, and to face fears that had dominated her life in recent years.

The two stamped through the snow, which made every step seem heavier, shimmering in the glow of the lanterns that fenced the path. And although they could have retraced the footsteps that they left there in the white winter blanket, they didn't want to, just looking the way forward, in the direction that was predetermined for them from the moment they met almost ten years ago.

In Anne's right hand the candle that Marjorie Finley had given her glowed, a warm flame in the darkness that moved with the wind, swinging left and right when Anne could already see Matthew's grave in the closer distance, which this evening did not convey an image of sadness, but that of a beauty that took Anne's breath away.

"Gil!" Anne breathed the moment her pace accelerated, sprinting to the grave, that was not a place of mourning that evening, but a sea of lights from countless candles that reflected in Anne's eyes, which had a shimmer that spoke of disbelief but also so much love. "Did you do this?" she asked with her mouth wide open evidently overwhelmed by what she saw.

"Hmmm." Gilbert hummed, watching Anne take in everything that hit her like a wave. "With a little help, of course." He added, smiling shyly.

Matthew's grave was flooded with candles and lanterns in the colors of Christmas, red hues as a sign of love, gold candles representing the light and hope that belong to the festival, and white night lights as a sign of the season, the winter that surrounded Anne illuminated the area. It was all the colors Anne associated with Christmas, and Gilbert had remembered them. Instead of being overwhelmed by the icy cold of the season, she felt a pleasant feeling of warmth in her body. A warm cocoon enveloped her heart in which the love for Gilbert grew even more, who gave her Christmas with Matthew that evening. All the lights flickered in the darkness standing on the snowy ground under which Matthew was buried and whose presence she felt so close to her. But that was not all. There, amid the sea of lights lay a wreath made of fir trees, decorated with a large red bow on which lines from the poem I Carry Your Heart With Me by e.e cummings were embroidered. In gold letters, the two sentences that Anne felt more than anything over the years were stitched into the red silk fabric of the bow.

_I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart._

Followed by Gilbert's hazel eyes, Anne crouched down and placed her white candle in the circle of the wreath, running her fingers over the words on the silky ribbon that brought tears to her eyes. "I've carried you with me all these years, my dear Matthew, and I've missed you every single day of that. I'm sorry I didn't visit you earlier, but so far I haven't had the strength to do so. I hope you can forgive me for that. I miss your blue eyes and your shy smile. Every day I wish to be embraced by you again but what I miss most is you. You gave me so much, a home, a family, and a father's love that I would never have experienced without you. I am grateful to you for so many things, Matthew. I will always carry you with me, no matter where my path leads me. At some point, I might get free of the pain that your death caused me, but I will never get rid of you, Dad. I love you and I will continue to love you till the day I close my eyes forever and we will meet again." 

Wiping a tear from her eyes, Anne rose from her crouch and went to the tombstone, which Gilbert had decorated with a shining golden Christmas star. The stone was half-covered by the tendrils of a bare bush, from which gold and red Christmas tree ornaments were hanging, swaying in the evening breeze that was crisp but gentle. It was then when Anne felt as if she heard Matthew's whisper in the wind telling her what she had always known. _'I love you too, my little girl.'_

When Anne got up and wanted to go to Gilbert, who was standing a little away from the grave to give her privacy and a few moments alone with Matthew, she noticed a small Christmas tree to the left of his resting place which was not nearly an inch high. The small fir tree was decorated with a string of lights, and all the things she had crafted with Matthew years ago in tons. The branches had yellow straw stars, the very same ones that adorned the Christmas wreath on the Green Gables front door when she came back to her hometown. White paper snowflakes adorned the tree, each shaped differently and uniquely. Anne remembered how, when she was making all the decorations with Matthew, she insisted that each flake they make of the paper must be different from the other because each has a unity.

After a few minutes, Gilbert approached Anne, placing his hand on her back with all tenderness. "Do you like it? I know it's not much but I want you to leave this place with a memory that would take away your fear of coming back. I want you to be able to visit his grave whenever you want, but you need a fond memory of this place to be able to do it. I hope that despite the sadness you are probably feeling right now, you still like it all."

Anne swirled around, her red tresses blowing in the wintry waft. The remnants of the tears she cried in the beginning were visible on her face the moment Gilbert's gaze fell on her features. Wanting to take all her pearls of sorrow away from her, Gilbert raised his hand to her face and dried them with the warmth of his fingertips. She sank into his touch, which covered her cheek with love, the feeling of his skin against hers, without which she always feels as naked as the trees in winter that wait for spring to bear all the buds and flowers, that grow from the roots in the ground in the same way that her love for him does with everything he did.

With her face in the hollow of his palm, she shook her head. "No, Gil I don't like it. Honestly, I love it. How did you do that in a day? All the hours that I've been waiting for you thinking you would want to take back what you said to me yesterday were for nothing. All you do is love for me. You love me with every breath you take and you steal mine in the same instant. You love me with your smile that is addicting and with which you always manage to cheer me up. You love me with each of your words and every gaze you sent into my direction. I'm loved by you with all the things you touch me with, your fingertips and lips and your heart that is so full of wonder. You're magic, my Christmas wish you granted me. How did I deserve you, Gilbert Blythe, can you tell me? What did I do to deserve you and your love? I will probably never get an answer to that, but honestly, I don't want to. You are extraordinary Gil, because with everything you give me, you show me what it is like to be loved." 

There it was, the million-dollar smile she brought out of him, the curve of his lips Anne loved so much, dancing around his mouth. "And what is it like to be loved by me, Anne-girl?" The man who captured her heart wanted to know when he put a kiss on her nose, falling tender as a feather on the tip of it. 

She mirrored him, her smile was a big one that radiated the happiness that he put on her lips. "It feels like a dream that I don't want to wake up from, as if I walk barefoot on clouds that lift me to heights that only your love can lift me to. Being loved by you feels like flying." She told him in all honesty, her forehead resting on his."You put my broken wings together and gave me back the ability to fly"

Her gentle breath tickled his whole face, triggering a tingling sensation in his pores that only she can awaken in him. "You could always fly Anne-girl, you just didn't want to do it alone. You can fly as high and far as you want and if you want to take me with you on your way to cloud nine, then I'll be your companion." His words were accompanied by a grin that Anne wanted to kiss away.

A week ago her life was fraught with pain and fear that was about to drag her down into deep caves from which she never thought she would find a way out. But with Christmas just around the corner, a hope came back to find something that she had left behind in her hometown, that feeling of happiness that her life was missing in recent years, her minutes lacked Marilla and her hours Diana, many of her weeks lacked the toothy grin from Bash and all her seconds lacked the love of Gilbert Blythe.

Circling in his orbit, she found a new universe, the fire that illuminates the stars in her eyes as she touched the moon, holding it in the palm of her hands. He carries the moon in his heart and she carries the sun in hers and now after three years, the moment had come when the stars were aligned. It was time for a total eclipse of their hearts to collide with each other. Gilbert Blythe was her supernova that led her into the spheres in which she could touch the sky, walking barefoot on clouds into which his love lifted her.

"But haven't we reached cloud nine yet?" Anne asked on the way back to Gilbert's truck, holding his hand, which will always be warmer than hers but, as she knew, was meant to keep hers warm.

Gilbert raised her hand to his mouth, brushing his lips over her knuckles. "Not quite yet. There's still something missing, but I can't give that to you in a cemetery. I promised you something, but to give you that we have to go back to Green Gables." He informed her, a smile appearing on his face, that held a glow of joy. His right hand went into his jacket pocket, making sure that he still had the item with him that he would need for what he set out to do.

"Why do we have to go to Green Gables for this? Can't you just give me the kiss somewhere else? You meant the kiss, didn't you?"

He had to chuckle. Anne's desperation and longing for his lips was back and it amused him to no end. "Of course I meant the kiss, but we have to go to Green Gables because the meadows there are still untouched. I need a snow-covered area that has not yet been stepped on by any people."

Anne looked wide-eyed at Gilbert, dangling their intertwined hands up and down in the act of walking. "Does that mean you wanna kiss me in the snow?" she inquired, biting her lower lip while she awaited an answer. She secretly wondered how it might feel to be kissed by him considered that they shared their last kiss 3 years ago. Her imagination painted a picture of waking up after a hibernation, tingling lips that may have to get used to the warm touch of the sun for a moment, but then want nothing more than to be kissed by it. Maybe the kiss would feel like spring.

They had meanwhile reached the red truck. Gilbert, always the gentleman, opened the passenger door for Anne, helping her into the interior of the car holding her hand until she sank deep into the padded leather seat of the vehicle that gave off a much-needed sense of warmth, after all, Anne and Gilbert were exposed to the icy December weather for some time. "I guess you will have to wait to find out." A loving kiss then grazed her forehead before he shut the door of the car. Blowing a kiss to her, he walked to the driver's side, climbed into the car, and headed for the direction of Green Gables where he desired to grant Anne her Christmas wish. 

* * *

Time flew like the mud on his truck tires as they crossed the streets of Avonlea. The roads were relatively unfrequented at this hour of the day, therefore they reached Green Gables in less than 15 minutes after a drive that was spent laughing and chatting happily. The tension in Anne's stomach was already felt, given that it would not be long before she would receive the one thing she dreamed of in all the nights she had to spent without him, the kiss she wanted to pluck from his lips, the first petal of many that says I love you and was watered to grow rooted in his heart so that his lips can lose all of them to her.

Gilbert parked his truck at the gates of Green Gables, running the engine and the headlights of his car to have a light source in the dark. Only the moon, dancing stars in the nocturnal firmament, and the distant lights that shone from the windows of the old farmhouse illuminated the late hours.

"Okay, Gil. We're at Green Gables and we've got loads of snow. Do I have to win a snowball fight against you to finally get my long-awaited kiss? What is it that brings me to your lips?" The heavenly sound of her giggles reverberated across the area of the farm. The redhead stood in the midst of the meadow that borders Green Gables land and was illuminated by the truck’s spotlight that threw a warm halo over her fiery red hair that swung gently in the wind. 

To Gilbert, she looked like a mystical thing, an angelic heathen that descended from heaven to bless him with her love. She swirled around, pirouetting in the snow with her arms spread wide open, which wore invisible wings. He wanted to feel all her feathers on his lips, which should fall from her soft cushion onto his. 

In the cold of the nightfall, his hands were sheltered with the jacket pockets of his red-plaid jacket. He was taking the last steps towards Anne, who was dancing in the snow, which was just beginning to fall out of the clouds again, which could not be seen in the darkness of the night. His hand grabbed hers in the twist she was in, pulling her towards him to feel her close. "Are you happy, Anne-girl?" he asked her, cradling her in his arms while he danced with her to the sound of their hearts surrounded by the thousands of kisses that winter bestowed upon them.

Her hand was on his heart, feeling the intense beat that matched hers. "There has never been a moment with you by my side that I've been unhappy. You are my definition of happiness, Gil."

His eyes, drawn by the gravity of hers, lost themselves in the maze he wanted to be lost in for the rest of his life, in the beauty that lay in the depths of her ocean, drowning in love that overflowed his heart with joy. "And you are mine, even if I mostly lack the words to define what you are to me, because you are just so many things to me. You are my best friend and the love of my life, the keeper of the key to my heart, which has always been yours. You were my yesterday, you are my today and you will be my tomorrow. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you'll be my forever."

When he saw how bright the smile was that his words put on her lips, having a luminosity that rivaled the moon and all the stars, he knew why his heart never managed to unlove her. There will just never be anyone else who would be able to capture it the way she did. She was the net he fell into, getting tangled in all the meshes that can never be untied, of that he was sure.

He turned her around one last time, one hand holding hers while the other was on her back. His weight was shifted forward by him so that her body bent backward, her hair almost dangling on the snow-covered lawn of the meadow while she was in his firm, secure grip, safe in his hands that would never drop her. He leaned down, laying a kiss on her forehead before pulling her back to him, brushing her hand with the brush of his mouth after he finished the dance that didn't need music.

"Anne-girl!" Gilbert started, taking her right hand in his left while he took her a little away from the place where they danced and the snow was no longer chaste and untouched. "I don't want any battles with you, not even a snowball fight. But I know that this is just a wish because we will fight, but then we will communicate and talk. I don't want lost letters and misunderstandings either. We will communicate, Anne-girl, open and from person to person, and after we do that we will love each other as we always did."

Anne nodded, feeling the same. "Are we really that bad when it comes to misunderstandings? Diana said something similar."

Her question was replied with a chuckle that left his mouth. "You have to admit that we have had one or the other experience when it comes to misunderstandings. We're the worst, Anne-girl. But that is all in the past. From now on everything will be different."

"I wholeheartedly agree. But if we don't have a snowball fight why are we still out here?" Anne was curious, witnessing the snow dancing in the light of the headlight of his truck, which had previously turned the ground of the pasture into a silvery shimmering dance floor that felt cold under her feet, but whose coldness did not match the warmth Gilbert had kindled in her.

A big grin lifted his cheeks, in which he could feel a burning sensation that felt like happiness. "Lie down, Anne-Girl." He tried to keep a commanding tone in his voice but failed as his voice contained more cheerfulness than anything else. Gilbert was just about to open his mouth, but Anne prevented him from doing so.

Anne's eyes shot wide open, her nose lifting in the act. "Do you want to bury me under the snow? And I thought you loved me, Gilbert Blythe." She held back a smile, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her nose in the air."

Her words made Gilbert roll his eyes, chuckling in amusement at her behavior. "You're so dramatic, Anne-girl. Your acting skills seem to pay off, huh?"

"Gilbert Blythe you are the worst," Anne shouted.

"Anne Shirley-Cuthbert you are the best," he shouted back, a smile tucking at the corners of his lips.

That brought out the smile that Anne had previously suppressed. "Am I?" she asked, looking at Gilbert with the blue eyes who held an ocean in which instead of water at the bottom there was nothing but love.

"Hmmm." Gilbert hummed, bringing his lips to her ear. He playfully bit into her earlobe, making her cheek blush before whispering something into her auricle. "You are the best, most beautiful, smartest, and most wonderful woman that one could wish for." His words were a low whisper, tickling her ear with his breath that met her skin. "But now, I want to make snow angels with you, so are you in?"

"Snow angels?" Anne questioned curiously with her left eyebrow raised. But then she had to feel the happy curve on her face that his suggestion brought there. "Why didn't you say that right away? I love snow angels." She separated from the warmth of his physique and then dropped carefully down into the snow, looking up from her position where Gilbert's lengthy stature hovered over her.

"I would have if you had let me finish." His laughter echoed across the pasture as he circled Anne, dropping into the snow behind her so that his head was positioned next to hers, his face pressed against hers for a moment. Anne was a little confused that he hadn't chosen the place next to her to make a snow angel and she had to share her confusion with him.

  
  


"Why aren't you lying next to me?" She wanted to know from him, feeling the tickling of her face on which the snowflakes lay down and the warmth that his cheek gave off.

Gilbert just shrugged his shoulders. "I have my reasons." He said nonchalantly, creating a small gap between her and himself to have enough space to spread their arms. "I'll count to 3 and then let's start okay Anne-girl?"

"Oh, okay!" Anne whispered softly.

Gilbert began to count. "One!"

"Two!

"Three!"

They opened their arms and legs like the wings of an eagle, stretching wide and flapping against the snow. Again and again, their hands and the tips of their fingers brushed against each other while they gave their bodies in the snow the wings that their arms carry but are only visible in winter when it is snowing. The expression of their joy and happiness that their hearts held shimmering in their eyes was voiced by the laughter that sounded in the snowdrifts of this moment. Out of a sudden, Gilbert reached out for her hand to crawl nearer to be closer to her. 

"Gil!" Anne giggled, having her head tilted to her right shoulder. She could feel the weight of his head on her other shoulder now. "What are you doing there?"

"Look up!" he replied, holding in his right hand what he was carrying in his jacket pocket all the time.

Anne did what was asked of her, lifting her head to the other side and looking up. There above her head she saw a small branch adorned with a red bow. The thing that dangled over her was what let her mind wander back to Christmas six years ago when he confessed his love to her, the very first kiss under a mistletoe like one that Gilbert was holding over her head at that very moment. A knowing smile formed on her lips. She could now imagine exactly what was about to happen. 

"May I kiss you, Anne-girl?" 

Although his words were a low whisper that gave her entire body goosebumps, they were the loudest words she'd ever heard. After three years of hunger and thirst for his love and everything that his heart carries for her, she was about to get the seal of his love pressed on her lips.

"You may! Please kiss the hell out of me, Gil!" She bit her lip after her statement, wondering how a kiss from this angle must feel like. 

  
  


It was an upside-down angle, somewhat similar to the iconic kissing scene between Spiderman and Mary Jane, played by Tobey Maguire and Kristen Dunst. But this wasn't Hollywood, it was the most real thing she could have imagined. Her happy ending that should be crowned with a kiss from the love of her life. 

"Your wish is my command, Anne girl!"

Gilbert didn't have to be told that twice. He moved closer to her lips, instead of their noses touching, the tips of it touched the other's chin in this angle of the position of their faces. They couldn't see the expression in each other's eyes exactly but knew that ocean blue eyes held the same emotions that hazel ones carried. Above their heads they held hands, closing the gaps between their fingers with those of the other, just as they were doing with their lips this second. With the collision of his lips against hers, he closed the last gap that gaped between them.

It was a kiss that gave both of them the wings they drew in the snow. Lips on lips, they lifted off towards cloud nine. That kiss was a rocketeer, igniting fireworks that burned from head to toe in every pore of their bodies, giving off the heat that the token of their mutual love created. It was an exchange of breath that they stole from their lungs as they drowned in the love that made up for all the years they were supposed to love each other. That kiss was everything. Hearts raced and tongues knotted, love bloomed that should only continue to grow, thawing after three years of hibernation that was over when their lips melted into one another and two hearts morphed into one love that should last for a lifetime.

After a moment, both gasped for air as their lips parted. "That was a hell of a kiss." Anne smiled, propping her arm on the cold snowy lawn while running her fingers over his features, "Thank you for granting me my Christmas wish.You gave me back my belief in miracles, because that's all you are, my miracle. In return, I would like to grant yours. I love you, Gilbert Blythe. I'm scandalously in love with you. I couldn't fall out of love with you, not even try, because there will never be anyone else for me but you. You own my heart and I love, I love, I love you, Gil." she whispered her words, which touched his face in a breath as she gave meaning to all of her words with a gentle kiss in which she put everything she felt.

"I love you so much!" She placed another kiss on his lips that held the happiest curve imaginable.

"I love you too, forevermore."

When his lips met hers again, she felt the happiness on them, dripping into the lines of her soft cushions. And she knew in this instant that the ache in him that was put there by the ache in her was replaced by the love and happiness they put into each other. Gilbert then helped her up from the cold ground, sliding his hand over her back to rid her of the snow that had clung to the emerald green fabric. Holding hands and beaming with love, they made their way to his truck where the moment had come to say goodbye to each other. 

"I don't want you to go." Anne pouted, stamping her feet in the snow which made Gilbert laugh. 

"I don't want to go either, but it's late and as much as I'd like to spend the night with you, I think we should take it slow."

Anne sighed, raising her hand to his head. She gently wove her fingers through the snow-covered structure of his locks, addressing her words to Gilbert, who looked fondly at her. "Are you coming to dinner tomorrow night? I know it's very short notice but Marilla and I would be very happy if you, Bash, Mary, and little Delphine would celebrate Christmas Eve with us. So what do you say?" Her question came along with a tender kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Yes! My answer is yes. Get ready to be kissed by me under the mistletoe and the Christmas tree. Hell,of course, we come. Thanks for the invitation."

Anne had to giggle. "You're a dork, Gilbert Blythe but I love you anyway. I can't wait to celebrate Christmas with you"

"Me neither."

Those were the last words before the two kissed goodbye in the headlights of his red truck, sharing their breath and warmth in the cold of winter. And while they stood there in the snow, expressing their love, framed by the kisses of winter, Anne thought that this damn season is not that bad after all. Tasting the taste of peppermint in the cave of her mouth, she couldn't wait to celebrate Christmas with the man who shared his breath with her the way he wanted to share the rest of his life with her, loving and in the safety of each other's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks if you made it this far. I know the chapter was long, but I didn't want to split it in two parts. The next chapter will be the epilogue. Shirbert's Christmas celebration over the years. We will see what has become of them and where the path led them!


	5. Epilogue Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve 2020 (no Covid-19): Anne and Gilbert celebrate Christmas at Green Gables after their reunion and make plans for the future...
> 
> Christmas Eve 2021: Anne and Gilbert have to spend Christmas in Los Angeles and Anne hates it. They try to bake and receive unexpected visitors. Gilbert asks the question of all questions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Here is the first part of the epilogue of this story. Actually, there should be only one more part, but I am not able to put everything in one chapter. I guess that's something I still have to learn. Anyway, that chapter contains pure fluff. Shirbert's Christmas in two consecutive years. You get to see what life is like for the two of them in Los Angeles and the direction their relationship is taking. 
> 
> Enjoy reading and feel free to leave a comment. I would like to hear your thoughts on this. I'm always open to constructive criticism, but please keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue!

**Christmas Eve 2020**

The eve before yuletide was loaded with harmony and joviality, ringing in laughter and merriment through Green Gable's corridors, which were brimming with music and a Christmassy atmosphere for the first time in four years this 24th of December. Outside the snow settled quietly on the grounds of the Victorian farmhouse, unmistakably the result of mother nature's work who was giving her all to make the whole of Avonlea happy with the bestowal of a white Christmas. From a dark starry sky, brightened by the golden elegance of the clusters that were joyfully prancing around the mystical silver glow of the nocturnal eye, the feather-like flakes descended to the Canadian small town, magically laying a blanket over Avonlea that that evening was the true image of a winter wonderland. Rivers and streams carried a frozen layer of ice under which the water flowed in calm waves, unimpressed by the icy covering, making its way to the point of its mouth. Trees held the thickness of snow masses that had fallen over the city in the past few days, trying to counteract the heaviness that threatened to break some of their tendrils. It was a picturesque image of winter that Mother Nature had painted.

Green Gables were hosting guests on this Christmas eve. The Lacroix's with their daughter and Gilbert were only too happy to accept the invitation of the two Cuthbert women who both wanted to celebrate the festival of love with those who were not just neighbors but family to them. For Mary, it meant less cooking, for Gilbert to be able to spend time with Anne, and Bash was given the opportunity to pursue his hobby that consisted of teasing Gilbert, especially about a beautiful red-haired actress. While Marilla, Sebastian, Mary, and the two-year-old Delphine had gathered in the dining room to celebrate the evening over dinner, Anne had withdrawn from the group. After all these years without Christmas at Green Gables, she was no longer used to hearing so much noise in the rooms of the farmhouse that knew nothing but stillness in recent years. For this reason, she went to the quiet parlor to have a few minutes to herself and, above all, to flee from Bash's teasing.

The whole evening it was just, "Anne tell me if those thin lips of Blythe can kiss well!" or "Are you sure you want to do this to yourself a second time? I sometimes don't know how to endure Blythe's face and you choose it willingly? Are you certain that Blythe is not holding you hostage? Wink once for yes and twice for no." 

She never knew exactly why Gilbert was always so vexed when it came to Bash and his teasing manner, but that changed when she fell victim to it herself, which was fun at first but began to annoy her the more time passed. So she escaped him and the others, sitting in the parlor where she witnessed the magic of the season. Anne loved the view that greeted her as she glanced out the window of Green Gables'. Not being able to admire the beauty of Avonlea's winter in a long time, she couldn't help but marvel at the quiet way the snow arrived at the earth. The flakes danced in the glow of the Christmas lights that decked the old country house, and beautified this evening, in the air of which Anne could feel nothing but love.

  
  


"Isn't it beautiful, the Canadian winter?" 

The redhead was sitting on a window seat in the parlor, sensing the fragrance of apples and cinnamon, the scent of him trickling her nose. Gushing about the season, she trailed her right forefinger over the snowflakes that slid down the pane of glass, following the trace of the kisses winter laid upon the transparent surface of the window. A short dress in a dark forest green hue hugged her curves, fitting tightly to her breasts and waist from whereupon it began to fall more loose. Tiny silver stars adorned her Christmas eve outfit that didn't even reach her knees and ended about six inches below her bottom. Much of her milky skin was displayed, her arms wrapped in a transparent fabric made of mesh that matched the color of her dress, revealing the skin a certain young man desired to adorn with caresses of his lips and fingertips. Her flaming red hair was curled in angelic ringlets that cascaded over her left shoulder, a fountain of liquid flames through which he wanted to weave his fingers, badly wishing to get tangled in red tendrils that spun the web of temptation. 

Gilbert, who was leaning in the door frame of the room with his arms crossed over his torso, could do nothing more than stare at little stars that adorned her dress and his Milky Way. On other days he would have searched for shooting stars in her galaxies to wish for the only thing he ever wanted, but not that evening, not when his greatest wish was fulfilled by her. After three years he was allowed to love her again, even if he had never lost this privilege, but he felt nothing but gratitude for the young woman who at that moment had averted her gaze from the window and stumbled into eyes that mirrored the expressions in hers. At that moment their eyes held a conversation in the language of love, telling each other, 'I love you.'

Anne surveyed Gilbert attentively. The radiance of his hazel orbs where the love he doused her with lived was casting back all the emotions in her ocean-blue ones. A single glance from him in her direction was enough for her to know that everything he said and did happened out of love for her. He was wearing dark blue jeans while his well-toned upper body was covered by a green shirt, the lower part and collar of which protruded from a burgundy sweater that he wore over it. Though he was as handsome as ever, it was the admiring look his eyes wore and that beam of his face that brought Anne to utter her next statement.

"I believe what they always say is true. Sometimes you only learn to appreciate certain things when you no longer have them. Sometimes I don't know how I've managed to be without the Canadian winter. I also don't know how I was able to wake up every day for the past few years without you by my side. It's so hard to live without something that used to be taken for granted. Don't get me wrong. I never took you for granted, but I used to see you every day and when I suddenly didn't see you anymore, I started to think more about you and to yearn for you more. I started to love you more even if I didn't know if you still feel the same for me." she uttered thoughtful, biting her lower lip the moment her gaze was fixed on Gilbert, who didn't take long to discern the ambiguity in her words.

His lips curled up, showing the happy curve the beauty who captured his heart had put there. He was creeping up on her until his significant scent misted her nostrils with a cloud of fresh apples and sweet cinnamon, standing right in front of his goddess of love. 

"I understand that and I feel the same. Maybe distance really makes the heart grow fonder. The winter in Avonlea is beautiful, but not as beautiful as you are. I have always appreciated you, whether you were with me or not. But now I have you back and I will show you every day anew how much I appreciate and love you." His utterance was one that came along with a dreamy sigh, summoning up a prickling sensation in Anne's whole body just as his fresh and warm breath hit her face. Anne was able to feel his smile against her lips as he caressed them with his whilst he slightly bent over to give her the gift of his love, his hands resting on her thighs the instant he branded her bare layer with the sensible touch of his palms. After kissing her, the biggest grin illuminated his handsome face, the expression of his eyes full of adoration. 

"Nothing and no one will ever reach your level of beauty and I don't just mean your outward beauty. You are intelligent and so talented in so many things. You have the biggest imaginable heart that bears love for so many people, a kindness that cannot be compared with others and you are brave, Anne-girl. You may think you're a coward because you left then, but I think you showed so much courage with it. Sometimes to run is the brave thing. I'll be honest with you, it was tough to have to live without you, but you did what you thought was right and in the end, you came back to me and that's all that matters."

Anne had to smile affectionately at him, beaming brighter than the sun on a beautiful summer day. She cupped his right hand with her left one on which she drew little hearts on his palm as she let the fire in his eyes warm her. He was the only person who could melt her with the contents of his eyes. With all that his being contained, she turned into liquid wax in his presence that with every touch of him, whether expressed in words or caresses, made her heart melt into his. Just to be presented with this smile that he gave her was worth the pain of the past years that he blew away with his breath, which was always her oxygen to be able to exhale freely.

Her fingers smoothly traced a gentle line down the inner layer of his hand, spelling the letter "I", tickling his skin in the process that could release a chuckle from his mouth. Her touch was followed by a heart and the letter "U" that she drew on his skin before she brought his hand to her lips and deposited a gentle kiss on the underside of his thumb.

Gilbert radiated joy, opening the hand on which she wrote her declaration of love, that without the use of her voice meant just as much as if she had given him a monologue about what she felt for him. "I love you too, Anne-girl. I love you so much that my heart aches sometimes from the love it carries for you. But that's okay with me, because if there is one relief for my aching heart, then it's your love." His thumb trailed over the cushions of her lips, which only a second later could feel the impact of his, gently exploring the cavity of her mouth while Anne stretched her body a little to frame the back of his neck with her hands, enclosing it tenderly so as to draw him closer to her.

Getting kissed by Gilbert Blythe was always a sense of poetry for Anne. In the way he shared his breath with her, she found the beauty of the communication of his touch that spoke for his heart, tracing gently over her mouth as if it were the spine of a book in which everything is written down in ballads that his heart composed for her. Her tongue was the paper that filled as he expressed his thoughts of love and passion, brushing her taste bud and lips that went up in flames as his lyrical work burned into her skin. He kissed like a poet, full of beauty and depth into which he dragged her and all Anne did was memorize his love language so that she could recite it for the rest of her life.

Anne had to gasp, searching for the air his kiss stole from her. "I love you more than words can ever express." She breathed against his lips as her gentle whisper, which smelled of the freshness of peppermint, opened the pores of his skin on which a blanket full of goosebumps settled, covering him with the marks of her love. "Even if you're pretty cheesy." She had to add, the angelic sound of her giggles echoing through the parlor in which no one was present except the two, causing Gilbert's heart to erupt that was finally allowed to explode. Like lava that waited for years in the depths of a volcano for the moment to bubble to the surface, his heart was about to erupt with joy. The quaking of his heart was palpable, deep inside him, triggered by the flapping of the wings of the butterflies that fluttered against his rib cage.

"Anne-girl, you can admit that you love this side of me. I swear I won't tell anyone." He laughed loudly, kissing the tip of her nose the same moment he brushed a curly strand of her hair from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear, which was also grazed with a kiss from him. "You call it cheesy and I call it the expression of my never-ending love for you."

Anne just rolled her eyes but smiled. "Look, cheesy!" Giggling, she nudged his nose with her forefinger, bringing forth a big fat grin from him. Sure she loved that side of him, there was nothing that she didn't love about him, but that didn't mean he had to know. "But…" She started anew, leaning into the touch of his hand that he had meanwhile placed on her cheek, caressing it with tender strokes.

"But?" he asked out of curiosity, his left eyebrow raised while he awaited her answer. 

Anne rose from the window seat, brushing her hands over her green velvety dress to straighten it. She closed the tiny gap between Gilbert and her, leaving no two steps between them, standing on her tiptoe as she curled her left hand around the back of his neck, raking her right one through his shaggy curls while looking into his hazel eyes. In his eyes she found her favorite color, the green of an enchanting forest, into which she stumbled further, discovering the place where all her dreams were to be found, a house full of laughing children, and his hand in hers. She saw the ring on the ring finger of his right hand, the seal of their love, which reflected in the sunlight that fell through open windows in which just as much warmth was visible as in the brown of his eyes that flickered, a fire in the two windows of his soul that, of that she was sure, would be her home for a lifetime. Her life was a willow, sometimes swinging to the left, then to the right but always bending to his wind, to where she found her home in him.

She wore a knowing smile on her lips, one that spoke of the certainty that one day her dreams would come true. "One day I will marry you, Gilbert Blythe." She announced suddenly, her words were barely a whisper that Gilbert could hear loud and clear, halting the beat of his heart for a moment that had to process what she had just said. He thought he hadn't heard right, assuming his mind was playing some games with him. 

"You what?" He blurted, his eyes shot wide open and his eyebrows were doing what they always do when he is confused. They raised up like a rocket, seemingly having a life of their own. But it wasn't a game, nor a trick of his mind. It was the unveiling of her most kept dream. 

Anne smiled, lifting her head to kiss his forehead. "I will marry you, Gil. Not today and maybe not in a year but I will marry you. You may be a cheesy dork, but you are also the love of my life. My dreams shouldn't be unspoken words anymore, but something I want to share with you and that's my dream, you. Everything I've dreamed of in the last few years was you. I see it in front of me, a house on the edge of a forest, and the merry laughter of children with hazel eyes and the cutest dark curls possible. I can see everything so clear and I love what I see."

The reaction she received from Gilbert was certainly not what she expected. He fell into a fit of laughter, leaning his head back as his snicker reverberated across Green Gable's parlor. Anne hit him on his left chest, giving his heart a new rhythm. "Gilbert Blythe, how dare you? I pour my heart out to you and all you have in response is laughing at me?"

"I'm sorry, Anne-girl." Gilbert apologized, holding his stomach with laughter. "It's just that you call me cheesy, but then you say things like that. Who's the cheesy dork now, huh?"

Anne tried to stifle her own laugh, secretly admitting to herself that Gilbert was not entirely wrong. Her words were a tad cheesy. Nevertheless, she crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a pointed look. "You call it cheesy and I call it romantic!" she told him but then she sighed in resignation, holding out her left hand while the other found a place on his heart, feeling the loud music his heartstrings created, played by the sensitive touch of her hand on his chest. "How about we call a truce? We can both be pretty cheesy at times."

Gilbert grinned the second he took her hand and pulled her close to his body. "T-r-u-c-e!" He then spelled, leaving a kiss on her face between each letter that he had spelled out. "Do you remember Moody? He would have gotten that wrong." He stated before he added, "For the record, I found what you said very romantic."

"He would have!" Anne replied, running the pad of her thumb over his lips, raising the urge in him to kiss her breathless. "Do you have more to say than that you find what I have confided in you romantic? After all, I have entrusted you with my most secret wish?" Anne directed her question quietly at him, but they held a certain fear that he might not have the same dream as her. So she shifted her gaze to the freshly cleaned floor, not exactly knowing what to expect as an answer.

"Anne-girl please look at me!" Gilbert started, seeing her trying to look away from him. He followed her movements, raising his hand to her face, which he placed in the hollow between his thumb and forefinger, lifting her head so that he could look into her eyes when he told her what he wanted to say to her. "You know very well that this is the best Christmas present that you could have given me. Your wish is mine too, it was from the moment I kissed you under the mistletoe for the first time exactly six years ago. Wait, you know what? Forget that, I knew from the moment I first laid my eyes on you that you are the one for me. I will marry you, Anne-girl. Someday I'll do that...But there's something about what you said that I can't agree with. I want our children to have their mother's blue eyes that hold all the depths and beauty of the woman I love with everything that someone can love another person with. They should have your red hair, which shines in the light in gold and copper, and is much livelier in contrast to my boring dark hair. Whatever they look like, I know that they will have the best of you and me and that they will be the product of our love that we will shower them with."

A pearl expressing joy rolled down her cheeks, dried by tiny kisses he placed on the teary streak he saw on her porcelain skin. "Do you cry because you are happy or because you are afraid of giving birth to red-haired children?" Gilbert asked the redhead with a chuckle, grabbing her hand. He twirled her around to have a view at the Christmas tree they had decorated together and which now lit up the parlor in splendor and glory.

"Both!" She admitted, tilting her head to his shoulder. Together they eyed the Colorado fir tree from top to bottom, examining their work that two days ago brought them closer together. "I don't know what the future holds for us, but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I want to go through everything with you, the highs of life and the lows and everything else in between. I would like to experience the rest of my life with you by my side. I've just been apart from you too long to want anything else."

If there was one thing that both of them knew right now, it was that they saw their future with none other than the person standing next to them, his hand holding hers while her head rested on his shoulder. Nobody else would make sense, never has, not if he and she exist on this planet. Over the years, their hearts swelled, filled with love, which had been hidden for three years in depths that had previously seemed inaccessible to both, not because their love should not be lived out in the open, but because they were not entitled to do so. They had no choice but to love each other from afar, longing for a part of themselves that they thought they had lost forever, the halves of their hearts, the one piece of the puzzle that made them complete. Perhaps they would have been able to live without this piece for the rest of their lives, but there would have been an unfillable hole there, a laugh would have been missing and their hearts would have lost their voices. It would have hurt to an extent that no one else could ever have filled that void again. But they no longer had to live with what-ifs and maybes. They had each other, standing there, being close and having the certainty of being loved by the one they wanted to build a future with. 

He would collect her tears like rain and put them on his lips. The salt of joy and sorrow would melt on his tongue, bringing the stream of her drops to a halt that she would share with him. He would show her his teardrops and she would run the tips of her fingers over his features, steady his head when the baggage of everyday life is about to drag him to the ground. Her gentle breath would blow away his wounds, and she would kiss every new wrinkle that appeared on his skin while they would grow old together. With their hands, they would hold their children, love and protect them with the hearts of lions, who will do everything to offer them the life that a child deserves. Both would love them endlessly and guide them on their way to adulthood. Tears would flow when their children left the house to go out into the world and follow their dreams. But they would burst with parental pride and be happy about what their children would achieve. They would laugh when they found their first gray hair and they would argue, but then they would talk and make up, love each other more intensely than ever and everything would be as if nothing had happened. Yes, they would love each other forever in heartbeats instead of seconds until the rhythm flattens and one day stops completely. But they would have had a love that would never die, being sure that they would meet again in the afterlife. They would have loved with a love for the books, one of the greatest love stories the world would ever know. They would have loved each other endlessly.

"I love you, Anne-girl," Gilbert whispered after some moments of silence in which they just enjoyed the peaceful moment and their close proximity. His breath hit her ear before kissing her scalp, inhaling the scent of lavender that will one day be the scent he wakes up to every morning. 

Anne's hair tickled his neck while she felt a calmness in her soul. For the first time in an eternity that she thought would never pass, she felt an inner balance, a feeling of having arrived at the place where she always belonged. It was like she had made her peace with past mistakes and the pain that will always be there but lost power and control over her. The void that Matthew's death had left in her heart, would ever leave a vacancy. Not only she knew that but Gilbert as well, who has enough vacant spaces in the crux of his being himself. They will always carry the memories of the people who left them irretrievably, mothers and fathers who will not see their children getting married and becoming parents themselves, a thought that hurt both of them. The pain will stay and all they could do was love each other, not to take the pain away, that will never be possible, but to make it more bearable.

After Anne had admired the Christmas tree for a few moments, marveling over the decor and twinkling golden lights that reflected in the various ornaments, the redhead raised her head to look at Gilbert, whose gaze fell directly on her, following the magnetic force that he would follow throughout his life. "Gil, do you mind if we give each other our presents now. I just want to have this moment with you, without being watched by the others. Do you think that's okay with you?" she asked, wearing a hopeful smile on her face. 

"Sure!" he replied shortly, kissing her cheek. He crawled to the ground, sitting with crossed legs under the Christmas tree, where he waited for Anne to join him. "Are you coming?"

Anne nodded, unlike Gilbert, kneeling on the ground, after all, she was wearing a short dress that gave her no choice but to sit in a kneeling position under the tree. "Who starts?"

"How about we both give each other the gifts and open them at the same time?" Gilbert suggested just as he took her hands into his, leading them to his mouth to drop a sweet kiss on her knuckles.

Outside the parlor, they heard the others cheerful chatter, leading them to assume that they still had a few minutes to exchange their presents in undisturbed togetherness. The Christmas tree under which they were sitting, smiling lovingly at each other, hued the room in a golden dazzle, intoxicating Anne and Gilbert with the feeling of Christmas and love. The green fir with all its decor was reflected in the large window of the room in front of which it stood. Tiny little golden specks danced on the window pane from which more fresh snow slid down, which, when illuminated by the golden glow of the lights, resembled liquid golden drops, slowly sliding down from a champagne glass. 

When she felt the caress of Gilbert's fingertips on her skin, branding her hands with his touch, Anne's lips pouted, giving Gilbert a puppy look as she fluttered her long black lashes. "But then I can't see your face when you get your gift!"

Gilbert answered her protest with a quick kiss on her pouting lips. "Okay but you open your present first."

Positioning his stature flat on the ground, he crawled under the tree on the lookout for the present that he had placed under there upon arrival at Green Gables. It was a small, square-shaped package that he took out from under, wrapped in brown paper with a red ribbon tied around it. Holding it out to her, he addressed his words with a smile, "Before you open it you have to know that it is the gift that you should have received from me on Christmas three years ago. I hope you like it." Giving her a kiss on the forehead, he then handed her the little present that she gently brushed with her thumb. Gilbert escaped a low chuckle, becoming somewhat impatient. He couldn't wait to see the look on Anne's face as she unwraps the gift.

In the years that they celebrated Christmas with each other as friends and later as a couple, they always gave each other the most thoughtful gifts. He once gave her a fountain pen in which he had her name engraved so that she can put all her adventures and ideas on paper. He doesn't know, but it was with this pen that she signed her first acting contract with the Creative Artists Agency in Los Angeles, which brought her the role of Cordelia Abbott in Lavender Fields and was her rise into the ranks of Hollywood. Anne gave him a limited edition of Gray's Anatomy years ago to help him achieve his dream of becoming a doctor. Well, he didn't end up becoming a doctor, but there were moments that drew him to this book, sometimes out of melancholy another time to review the moment when she gave it to him and told him he would be a wonderful doctor. There were always gifts to help make dreams come true and to be a companion on the way to where their life would lead them, but now it was Christmas Eve, the day after they got back together and neither of them had great expectations of what they would get from the other. It was enough for both of them to have the other next to them because to know to be loved by the person they love was all they would ever need, that feeling of being loved not in parts but as a whole with all that they are and the other has to give. It was enough.

Seeing Anne admire the simple wrapping of the gift, Gilbert's impatience grew. "My God, Anne-girl, would you finally open the present?" He threw his hands in the air, unable to take the expectancy in regards to her possible reaction any longer, which made Anne laugh.

"Okay, okay I'll do it." she said, laughing out loud. A heavenly sound to Gilbert's ears.

"Finally!" The impatient young man exhaled, letting out the breath he was holding. “Only you can spend hours admiring a gift wrapped as simply as this one.” He was sure that only a passionate individual like Anne would be able to see something beautiful in his packaging skills.

Anne tore her gaze from the still unopened present in her hand and looked up at Gilbert, who hovered over her like a cloud, under which she felt small but safe, knowing that all she would be showered with was love. "Your talents are certainly not in gift wrapping, but you could have done it worse. Everything about you has a beauty to me, simply because it comes from you."

Gilbert gave her a peck on the mouth. "Thank you for wrapping the truth about how bad my skills actually are in such beautiful words. Now, open the present before I do it."

Rolling her eyes, Anne pulled the ribbon that adorned the gift. "You're so commanding, Gilbert Blythe or should I call you Admiral Blythe?" Her giggles echoed through his ears as Gilbert watched Anne carefully unfold the brown wrapping paper.

"Call me what you want, Anne-girl. I will listen to everything. Call me a dork or an idiot. As long as it is you who calls me that, I listen to everything."

The gift in Anne's hands revealed a blue box with a velvety surface, apparently a jewelry store box, evident from the logo stamped on the blue velvet fabric, with 'Diamonds and Pearls' written on it in silver letters. "No matter what is in the box. The name I prefer to use to address you will always be Gil, the name of the love of my life." She then raised her head, kissing the lips that displayed a smile that was contagious. So she had to smile as well.

Then she carefully separated the lid from the box, the contents of which made Anne gasp. "Gil!" She breathed in surprise, running her fingers over a silver pendant. It was a charm for the bracelet that hung on her left wrist and was once a present from Matthew for her 16th birthday. The pendant had the shape of a heart on the bow in the middle of which the letter A clearly stood out. The stem of it had the typical shape of a key but looked more ancient than a normal one. 

"This pendant is for Anne who is the keeper of the key to my heart." He informed her, reaching for her hand, which he put on his heart to show her that everything that beats in there triggers all the emotions with which he loved her. "I never had the opportunity to give you my present after Matthew's death and because he was already so weak I assumed that he would not be able to give you a new pendant for your bracelet. You will be many other Anne's. The one who will one day be my wife and the one who will be a dear mother to our children and I am sure that you will become many other versions of yourself. What I mean to tell you is that I will always remind you of who you are and will be and that you are first and foremost the woman to whom my heart belongs."

Tears welled in the corner of her eye, many emotions overwhelming her. It was a strange mix of sadness and joy that she felt about the fact that Matthew wasn't there and that what he had started will be carried on by Gilbert. "I...thought after Matthew died I would never get a charm for the bracelet again." Her words were a croaking whisper, accompanied by the tears that slipped down the porcelain skin of her face. With tears in her eyes, she then dared a glance at Gilbert, who had to pull himself together not to burst into tears himself. Anne made him weak, and even if crying wasn't a sign of weakness, he wanted to avoid it at all costs. "It's beautiful Gil, really. Would you be so kind and put it on my bracelet?"

All he could do was nod his head, swallowing hard as he took the pendant from her hand, carefully hanging it amongst those that were already dangling from the bracelet. "I love you, Anne-girl." He had put a kiss as light as a feather on her throbbing pulse artery, being the one who gave her a pulse that beat rhythmically and strongly, driven by all the things he did out of love for her. He was the river in her veins, flowing into the heart where everything that his love had to give flowed into, creating waves in which she loved, strong and gentle, always returning back to him, the shore where she felt the safest.

The expelling warmth of his fingertip dried her tears, wiping them away before he pulled Anne to him, wanting to rock her in his arms. Green Gable's parlor was quiet for a moment. All that the two lovebirds could hear was the dull sound of Bash's laugh, probably laughing at his own jokes as so many times before, and the clink of dishes in the dining room. Anne snuggled into Gilbert's chest with her head resting there where she listened to his strong heartbeat. 

"I love you, Gil! You can't even imagine how much I love you." She addressed her words in a hushed tone to Gilbert, fiddling with the ends of his green shirt that peeked out from under his red sweater. A kiss graced the space under his chin, placed there by Anne before she had straightened up, cupping his face with her right hand. In gentle motions, she ran her thumb over his lips that emitted the same thing that his eyes did. All he looked at her with was the joy the feeling to be loved by her brought out of him. 

Taking a deep breath, the redhead gathered her thoughts for a moment to find the right words for what she had to say to him. "I love you so much, Gil, and I want you to fulfill one of your dreams. It's not too late to study medicine. Yes, it will be a long time before you can practice, but if you really want to marry me one day then you have to learn to accept that I will share everything with you. I share my breath with you, my laughter, and my pain. In the past three years, I've made enough money that I won't have to worry about finances for the rest of my life. That's why I want to share some of it with you. I can make your dream of studying medicine come true. You just have to want it."

Her words faded into the room and seconds turned into minutes in which Gilbert did nothing but look at Anne's face with an open mouth. He closed his lips, then opened them again, but remained silent. This offer would have been a grotesque idea when it had come out of the mouth of anyone else, but not from Anne, who does everything she does out of love for others. Still, it was a notion he needed time to think about and find out if it really was what he still wanted.

A deep sigh escaped his lips at the same time as he threaded his hands through his dark curls. He got up from the floor, reaching for Anne's hand to pull her up, bringing her close to him. Her arms were on his chest. She nervously waited for an answer from him, which finally seemed to come when he called her by her nickname.

"Anne-girl!"

"Yeah?" She gazed into his eyes, trying to discern the expression in them.

He caressed her arms, gently running his hands from her wrists to her elbows and back, doing this over and over again. "First of all I love you, but that's nothing new." He had to chuckle what was answered by her with a slap on his shoulder. "Okay, I'm trying to be serious. Your offer is very generous, but I need time to think about it. I want to go to Los Angeles with you first and see what life is like there before making a far-reaching decision that would affect not only my life but yours as well. Still, though, I'm grateful to you for the opportunity you would be willing to give me, but I need time. Dreams can change and I need to find out if this one did. Do you think you can give me this time?"

Her right hand wandered from Gilbert's chest to his face, brushing dark curls from his forehead. The corners of her mouth rose in a gentle smile while she gazed affectionately into his mesmerizing hazel eyes. "Of course I'll give you the time. All I want is for you to be happy. If you want to teach, then teach, but if you still have that urge to become a doctor, remember that my offer stands." They were honest words she addressed to Gilbert. Anything that makes him happy would make her happy, and she knew that it would definitely take him some time to get used to the flair of L.A., which is a whole different world compared to Avonlea. "We have all the time in the world to build a life together in Los Angeles. Who knows, maybe one day we'll return to Avonlea. I think that we are the architects of our future and as long as I can create a house and family with you, I'll be the happiest woman in the world."

Anne's gaze fell from Gilbert to the twinkle lights of the Christmas tree. Deep inside her, she could feel the certainty that she would celebrate every future Christmas with the man who at that moment was resting his chin on her shoulder, encasing her middle from behind while she let herself be warmed by the temperature his body gave off.

"What are you thinking about, Anne-girl?" He wanted to know, jolting his head to the right to have better access to the inviting bare skin that was in his field of vision. He then began to drop tiny kisses on her neck, leaving innumerable kisses from her carotid artery to her chin.

Anne turned in his embrace to look at him, stopping him from kissing her for a moment. Her arms curled around his neck, encircling the back of his head with her hands. The pads of her fingers moved over the skin of his nape, caressing him delicately. That touch was enough to send a warm shiver down his spine. "I just noticed that I haven't wished you a Merry Christmas yet. So, Merry Christmas, Gil. This is just one of many more that will come and all of them we will celebrate together."

Smiling at him, her breath met his lips as she neared them, licking her tongue over her mouth to moisten her kissable cushions before they met his, driving him crazy with it. The expectation and tension hung in the air as both stared intensively into each other's eyes full of desire, without words expressing the wish they both had, _'Put your lips on mine.'_ Not much space separated her mouth from his, just a tiny gap that wanted to be closed. The collision of their lips was inevitable and so they collided, sharing their breaths as he drew her closer to him, so close that no sheet of paper would have fit between their bodies. Her grip on the back of his neck tightened, pulling him down to her, for the reason that she didn't want to let go of him. All she desired was to be kissed breathlessly by the one who gave her her first kiss and will give her her last. Their tongues knotted, dancing passionately to the rhythm of their hearts that caught fire. As his tongue circled around hers, not only did she lose her breath, but her heart lost its balance as well. The deeper he kissed her, the deeper she fell for him. She would always fall for him, knowing that she would land in the safest place on earth, the soft cushion of his heart.

"Merry Christmas, Anne-girl!" Gilbert whispered between the kiss, puffing his exhalation against her lips and tickling her with it. "I love you." Anne didn't get to tell him that she loved him too, because his lips covered hers again and so she put the words she couldn't say into the kiss, which was gentle and tender, slowly at the beginning, but increasing in intensity the longer they kissed. They got lost in the kiss they shared, forgetting everything around them as they drowned in love. 

Anne suddenly felt two small hands cling to her left leg, which startled her. "Annie!" It was Delphine Lacroix who had babbled the word, her chocolate brown button eyes looking up at her. 

"I can see that Blythe's lips seem to be quite satisfying to you." Bash addressed Anne, seeing the flustered state the two were in. He was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. His face shone with the radiant, toothy grin that is so typical of him. Gilbert let go of Anne, directing his attention to Bash whom he gave a death stare.

Gilbert huffed, rolling his eyes. "Save it, Bash!" 

As so often, Sebastian ignored Gilbert's words, enjoying it too much to tease the younger. "I was just commenting on what my poor eyes had to see. You're lucky Dellie is too young to remember what we had to witness."

Deciding not to interfere in the banter of the two, Anne focused her attention on Delphine. She got down on her knees to be eye to eye with the two-year-old girl. "Hello, cutie pie. Did you miss us?" she asked her, kissing her on the tip of her nose, which made Dellie giggle. Anne picked the girl up, put her on her hip, and rocked her. "You are a precious little thing. How can a human being be as sweet as you? Can you tell me that, Dellie? Your Uncle Gilbert is right. You are the sweetest two-year-old girl in the world." Delphine just smiled. "Gilby," was all she said. She just turned two years old, so her vocabulary didn't know many words yet, but Anne knew she meant Gilbert. Rocking the little one on her hip, she walked closer to the twinkling Christmas tree, humming a sweet melody for Delphine. 

Meanwhile, Gilbert's gaze shifted to where he heard the giggles of Anne and Dellie. The redhead showed the little one the Christmas tree, tickling her again and again with her free hand and laying kisses on her forehead or cheek. At that moment his thoughts left the room, traveling to a Christmas in the future that he could vividly see before his inner eyes. Anne would be standing in front of a Christmas tree, but holding a child in her arms that has her red hair and his hazel eyes. Every single ornament that adorns the tree, she would show the girl, point to stars she made with 'Grandpa Matthew', then she would turn around, and beam at him. One of her hands would find one of the little hands of the child she carried with her for nine months, and together they would wave to him. Anne would put a kiss on the girl's forehead, looking at him while whispering to the child she's rocking on her hip …'Look, Joy, there's your daddy. '

This dream, so vivid, knocked the breath out of his lungs. He saw his future before him and the urge grew in him to get on his knees in front of Anne and ask for her hand in marriage. He fought against the pull in his legs that wanted to drag him to the ground, knowing that it was too early to ask this question. But he would ask her, he promised himself, as his ears were graced with her sweet voice humming a lullaby for Delphine.

Finally, it was Sebastian who got Gilbert out of his dream world and burst the bubble in which he felt so happy. However, Bash couldn't take away the happy curve he had on his lips, for what he felt made his heart overflow, carrying a well in his innermost core, from which flowed all the love with which in the years to come he would shower not only Anne, but also every child to whom she would give the gift of life and the light of the world.

"Anne, dinner is ready. Are you coming?" Gilbert informed the redhead, secretly admiring how affectionate she was with Dellie.

"We're coming!" she replied, obviously unable to tear herself away from Delphine.

With Delphine in her arms, she then walked past Gilbert and Bash, coming to a stop for a brief moment to place a kiss on her boyfriend's cheek. Smiling, Gilbert watched her go, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. Bash, walking beside him, nudged him in his left rib with his elbows. "Blythe, you moke. Let me guess, you're dreaming about Anne am I right? All you ever dream about is your pretty redhead. It's always Anne this and Anne that. Sometimes I wish for the boy back who was too cowardly to admit his feelings to himself."

Gilbert had to sigh. "I don't only dream about Anne. Besides, I wasn't a coward then, just a very confused teenager who needed time to realize the deep meaning of his feelings."

Sebastian became curious, already standing in the hallway of Green Gables, he then quizzically directed his question to Gilbert, who was standing in the doorway of the parlor. "Then tell me, Blythe, what else do you dream about, if not just Anne?"

One last time his gaze fell to the Christmas tree, bringing the daydream once again to the forefront of his mind, covering his heart with a warmth that felt so different. This figment of his imagination brought to light a longing that had long been kept hidden deep in the chambers and grew more and more in him.

"Joy!" He said, quietly closing the salon door behind him. "I dream of Anne and Joy!"

He then closed the parlor door behind him, following Bash to the Christmas Eve dinner that would be just one of many with Anne by his side.

* * *

**Christmas Eve 2021**

Los Angeles was hot and sunny. Above the city the glowing core of the sun shone from a cloudless heaven, directing all its might on the city of angels. The heavenly eye was sending down warm golden rays that made the inhabitants of the metropolis sweat. As usual, this year the weather in the Californian city could not create a Christmas atmosphere, at least not for the people who are used to celebrating the feast of love surrounded by snowy landscapes. Some would certainly have wished to spend the Christmas holidays in colder climes, but many were not granted this Christmas wish, just like a fiery red-haired actress, who was annoyed that day about having to celebrate the holidays in the hot weather conditions of L.A.

"Ugh! I can't believe we have to spend Christmas in L.A. I want to go to Avonlea to see Marilla and everyone else. We should have met Diana's fiancé Fred over the holidays. She will be so disappointed that we won't come, as will Marilla. All I want is to celebrate Christmas at Green Gables. Is that too much to ask, Gil?" 

It was December 24th and all Anne had been doing all day was fret about the circumstance that she and Gilbert had to spend Christmas in sunny L.A. instead of with their families in Avonlea. A huge snowstorm over Canada has forced all airlines to decide to cancel all flights in and out of the country, so the two now had no choice but to celebrate the festivities in the warm California climate. Together with Gilbert, the red-haired actress stood in the huge kitchen of the villa they had moved into last summer. Due to the cancellation of their flight, Anne had to be distracted, which is why she came up with the spontaneous idea of baking Christmas cookies, which Gilbert wasn't particularly excited about, considering that his baking talents are as bad as his cooking skills. But he was a weak man who simply cannot say no to the woman he loves, so he capitulated to her with his hands raised and surrendered to his fate. If Anne wanted to bake, then baking it was.

Grinning, he stood next to his girlfriend at the kitchen counter in their large white lacquered cooking area, pitying the cookie dough, which was angrily kneaded by Anne and thrown against the flour-strewn marble surface of the counter.

He had to chuckle, amused by the actress's behavior. "Of course not, but we cannot change the fact that there is a snowstorm over Canada right now. I would also rather be in Avonlea over the holidays but it also has its good sides to be alone with you." He had told her, using his fingers to pluck some of the cookie dough they had made. He was happy to have Anne with him as his personal baking teacher, without her he would definitely not have managed to make a dough that tastes as good as the one he licked from his finger at that moment. "Hmm, tastes good!"

Anne rolled her eyes, slapping him on the fingers. "Gilbert Blythe, stop eating the dough, otherwise we have nothing left for the cookies." She admonished him, but then turned around, giving him a kiss on his nose, which brought a smile to his lips. "Now tell me the benefits of being alone with me at Christmas." 

His handsome features were covered in flour, as were hers, the result of their attempt to bake visible in their faces. Her hands curled around his torso, enclosing him in her arms, which for the past twelve months had been wrapped around him almost every morning when he woke up next to her. For both of them, it was the best feeling to fall asleep in each other's arms and wake up beside each other the next morning. Every evening they fell asleep to the sound of their hearts and breaths, with a smile on their lips that was still there when they opened their eyes the next day. Right now, love floated into the ocean of her eyes filled with all that his hazel orbs mirrored, into which she gazed affectionately. 

"First of all, I can do 'this' without being disturbed by anyone." He grinned, emphasizing the word 'this' before his sentence was followed by the approach of his lips to hers.

He kissed her tenderly at first, but the kiss quickly turned into a heated make-out session, her delicate fingers weaving through his dark curls as he lifted her up, never ceasing to kiss her. Holding her steady in his grip, he wheeled around, putting her gently on the kitchen counter, throwing the cookie cutters that were placed there to the ground while he did this. She smiled between the kiss, the lift of her lips perceptible for him. At some point, Anne opened her legs, granting Gilbert access to the open space in between, where he was invited by her and was all too happy to obey. Positioned between her parted thighs, he pulled her closer to him, letting her body temperature warm him, which only rose higher the longer they shared their breaths with each other. Over and over again their shared affection elicited a moan from him or small gasping noises from her. What they were doing was predatory at its best. They stole the other's breath, replacing it with their own until they no longer knew which breath they were breathing. Anne snaked her left arm around Gilbert's nape, her right hand resting on his left hip, dipping the tip of her fingers into his skin. Her legs dangled at his sides as he stood between them, sometimes she raised and lowered her feet as she rubbed the back of his thighs, stealing a desperate groan from him while he stole her breath and the ability to think from her. They kissed passionately as if their whole life depended on it even though it was only one kiss in between, one of many. But they knew that a moment like this would never be just a kiss, not when they melted into each other like candle wax, burning with desire the moment they plunged into the pool of passion and love. They drowned in it, filling their lungs with the air they blew into the cave of their mouths. Heat boiled in their bodies, fueled by brush strokes against lips and knotted tongues, the expression of love that both felt with everything the other did. Kisses and touches later Gilbert parted from her lips searching for the air she robbed from him. Their breaths were labored and heavy, echoing in gasps through the kitchen area of the luxurious villa. 

"Fuck, Anne-girl!" He hissed in a croaky tone, his gaze fixed on her chest, which rose and fell. She was seeking for a steady rhythm she couldn't find, especially not when Gilbert's heavy exhalation fanned her skin and made her knees quiver. Like Gilbert, she too could feel the aftermath of the intense moment, her forehead and neck flushed, turned on by the man grinning at her. His hand, which was on her right thigh, heaved to her face, with his fingertips wiping away the flour that was sticking to her cheek. "What are you doing to me, Anne-girl? Do you understand now why it wouldn't be the worst just to spend the holidays among us? I could love you in any room. I could take you right here on the kitchen counter or on that soft carpet in the living room in front of the fireplace. We have this huge house to ourselves and there are sure to be a few places where we haven't had sex yet."

If her skin wasn't already flushed, now would have been the time for her to blush furiously. "Do you think of anything else besides sex?" She wanted to know, stroking his face with her left hand to free him from the flour on his cheeks. After that, her palm brushed over her black leggings, on which the white flour residues were then visible. Anne's face was illuminated by a mischievous smile that danced around her lips the moment she parted them to address Gilbert anew. "But I have to admit that you have very, very good arguments, Doctor Blythe. The actress pulled her boyfriend into a tender kiss that wasn't as intense as all the kisses a few minutes earlier but expressed no less. "The house is really huge and I've always wanted to do it with you on the pool table." Her confession met his lips in a breathy whisper, opening the pores of his epidermis where her hushed tone aroused a skin erection. Little goose pimples scattered all over his body, brought to life at the words of the young woman who seductively bit her lower lip.

"Yeah, really huge!"

The huge mansion they lived in since the summer offered expansive views of the entire city and mountains, privately situated on 8115 Mullholland Terrace, framed by green trees that shield from other views and made them both feel a little like they were living in a small forest in the big city. For both of them, renting this house, built in a very traditional style, had distinct advantages. For Anne, it meant that in about 15 minutes by car from her home, she would be at the Hollywood Studios in Glendale, where most of the scenes of Lavender Fields are shot. Gilbert's drive to the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California also took no more than 20 minutes if traffic in the City of Angels wasn't too chaotic.

It took Gilbert a few months to get used to life alongside a famous actress, to see his picture in magazines, shot by some paparazzi who once again lurked at some corner to catch a photo of Anne Shirley-Cuthbert and her high school Sweetheart was something that was a preposterous experience for him at the beginning. He flew to L.A. after New Year's Day, leaving his life behind in Avonlea to start a new one with the woman who entered his life 10 years ago and stumbled into his heart without warning, awakening emotions in him that suddenly had everything to do with her. The decision to make their relationship public was consensual and swift. They wanted to clarify old rumors and prevent new ones, so Anne issued a press statement earlier this year clarifying that Gilbert Blythe is the man she loves and has always loved to get rid of the rumors of a relationship with Royal Gardner, which have been repeatedly published by magazines. 

Anne made it easy for him to adapt to life in the Hollywood spotlight. She gave him the time he needed and never forced him to do anything he didn't want to do. They had their first outing as a couple at the Oscars in February. Dressed in elegant evening attire, they walked the red carpet together, always holding each other's hand to ground the other from getting lost in the glitz and glamour that accompanied Anne's fame. Anne took the lead in the red carpet interviews but gave him the opportunity to say something if he wanted to, which was rarely the case, struggling too much with the stage fright he felt at such events.

The more time passed, the more confident he began to feel in front of cameras. The press was taken with the down-to-earth young man, who always gave the photographers a friendly smile and a few kind words, without ever revealing any information considering his life with Anne. Anne's life also changed drastically. Hollywood parties and champagne problems became a thing of the past with Gilbert's arrival in LA. She cut ties with false friends who saw no more in her than the sun from whose light they wanted to take a piece. Happiness came back to her, which was also noticed by the press, who named Anne and Gilbert one of Hollywood's dream couples, which was a nice distinction for both of them, but didn't interest them much. All that mattered was that they were finally together.

She only attended the big award ceremonies and skipped other parties in the scene. She preferred to spend her free time with Gilbert, showing him the sights of the city that everyone must see at least once. When she showed him the Walk of Fame, he asked her if she desired to have a star there one day. His question was answered with a shake of her head when she told him that it was enough for her to be his star. She also showed him places she had discovered over the years, museums and libraries where art spoke to her and botanical gardens where she felt at home, among plants and trees, flower meadows, and the nature to which she always felt called. 

Gilbert decided after two months in L.A. to fulfill his dream of becoming a doctor. With his Bachelor of Science in Biology, he met the criteria to apply to medical school. But the application process was a long one, so he started with an application for a position as a medical research assistant at the school where he hoped to achieve one of his many dreams someday. Luck was on his side and he got the job, spending his days since March in labs helping to discover new medical ways to fight diseases. Although he always liked working as a teacher, he aspired to do something new, something that would challenge him more. Working as a medical research assistant was a good insight into the work of medical professionals, and the work helped him bridge the long wait for an answer regarding his application to med school. 

The year was a joyous one for both of them, not because they were on a good path professionally, but because they had each other and were in the process of building their future together. The happiness that they have felt over the past few months was now audible in the big mansion, through whose halls Anne's giggles echoed, feeling well entertained by Gilbert right now, who was busy trailing kisses over her neck. 

"Gil, what about the cookies?" Her head was jolted to the side, red hair cascading over her left shoulder to give Gilbert access to the right side of her neck. Her hands were propped on the kitchen counter while Gilbert's lips and tongue roamed over the smooth layer of her skin, tracing it like a map, the places that were his greatest adventure and he wanted to rediscover every day for the rest of his life, never getting tired of her. 

"Why should I eat cookies when you taste so much better, Anne-girl?" His words were an almost inaudible murmur against her neck he nibbled on, branding her skin with a love bite as he claimed her for his own. "This is the best Christmas ever. You are the best present for me. I don't need more than you" 

They lost themselves in the heat of the moment, her hands suddenly tangled wildly in the thick texture of his curls, his lips searching for every bit of bare skin he could find. "Gil!" She moaned, feeling him nibble on her ear, fueling the fire in her body. His touches were the kerosene that set everything inside her ablaze. 

"Anne-girl!" He breathed, hooking his hands in the bend of her knees in order to draw her to him, never ceasing to leave his signature on the bareness of her neck.

She used her legs to encase his middle, clinging to him as the temperature in the room increased. While she wove her left hand through his hair, her right wandered under his shirt, running the cushions of her fingers over his well-trained abdomen. She followed the lines of his muscles with her fingers, feeling the urge for more. "Take me here and now! Show me how much you love me. Please, Gil!" She whimpered pleadingly and lustfully, wanting to feel him with everything he had to give.

Out of a sudden, a scream drowned out her plea.

"Don't do it, Gilbert." 

Those surprising words prompted Anne to break away from her boyfriend, seeing Cole Mackenzie and Roy Gardner standing in the kitchen. She didn't know when it happened or how but at some point between their making out, the two must have entered the house. 

"How long have you guys been here?" Gilbert asked shocked, surprised to see the two there, running his right hand over his lips before he tucked his shirt into his pants. It wasn't five minutes but he already missed the warmth of Anne's hand on his abdomen. Turning to her, he looked questioningly at Anne, who jumped off the kitchen counter, trying to tame her disheveled hair. She then just shrugged her arms, herself having no answer to Gilbert's question.

"Long enough to have seen what you did to Anne. Tell Anne, would you really have let Blythe satisfy you on the kitchen counter?" Cole had to chuckle, his hand in Roy's, who covered his mouth with his free hand to hold back the laughter that was on its way out. 

In response, he got an eye roll from Anne while Gilbert could only shake his head. When he moved to L.A. he thought he would escape the teasing he had been subjected to in Avonlea, but in time found that Cole was no better than Bash in that regard. 

Anne sat down on one of the stools that were under the counter, taking the carafe of water that was next to a vase of lilies and lavender. She was thirsty from her heavy make out with Gilbert, so she poured herself some water in a glass and took a big gulp first. "Do I look like I'm going to give you an answer to that? This is our house and we make the rules. I have sex with my boyfriend in the places I want and he has satisfied me very well without having actual sex. Thanks for asking." With a loud thud of the glass on the table, the redhead directed her comment to Cole, who wore a wide grin on his lips. Gilbert beamed too, but with pride, very pleased with the praise he received from Anne.

It was Roy who voiced what his boyfriend Cole was thinking. "That then answers the question about whether you would have done it on the kitchen counter. I don't even want to imagine the other places you've done it in this house. Ugh, I bet you've already christened every place in here." Roy and Cole then walked into the living room, acting as if it were their house, followed by the confused looks of Anne and Gilbert whispering to each other.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea to give those two the security code to get into the house," Gilbert uttered in a hushed voice, pulling Anne off the stool to keep the unexpected guests company. 

Anne answered him rather sullenly, clasping her hands around his right arm as she followed him into the living room, where the two visitors had made themselves comfortable on the large grey L-shaped sofa. "I thought it would be good to have someone to take care of all our plants when we're not here." She shared her thoughts with Gilbert, who saw Cole and Roy, taking peanuts from a bowl that stood on the bamboo table in the living room, distracted with the attempt to throw them into each other's mouths.

"Do those two seem to you as someone who knows the difference between a begonia and a rose, or which plants need to be in sun or shade?" Gilbert's index finger was pointed at the artist and actor, who were laughing at each other, his left eyebrow raised just as he gave Anne a pointed look.

Anne shook her head, biting her lower lip. Gilbert was right, the two were artists, each in their own way but certainly not plant whisperers. "No, right now they look more like a couple of idiots. Let's face it, it can't be that hard to get a peanut into the other's mouth. Can it?"

"I heard that, Queen Anne!" Roy said attentively, straightening up to glance at Anne as he scooped more peanuts into his hand. "Here, try it for yourself." The actor saw Anne and Gilbert obviously having a conversation with their eyes, asking the other if they would both like to engage in such childish games. He wondered what decision they had come to. Nevertheless, he added something to his words, addressing them with his mouth full to his colleague and her boyfriend, the crunching of the peanuts on which he chewed audibly in the living area. "It's not as easy as it might look."

"I bet I can do it on the first try. "

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Blythe."

"Give me a peanut, Mackenzie. Anne-girl, please stand behind the table." The redhead followed Gilbert's instructions, standing on the opposite side of Gilbert. There was definitely more distance between them than there had been between Roy and Cole when the latter had been throwing peanuts at each other more than feeding them to the other.

"Lean your head back a little and open your mouth. I'm going to count to three and then I'm going to throw the peanut."

Cole had to chime in, having his head leaned on the shoulder of Roy, who had swung his arm around the blonde's shoulders. "Since when can you count to three?" He saw Anne, thanks to his words, struggling to suppress her laughter before he shifted his gaze to Gilbert, who just sighed in annoyance. 

"Shut up, Mackenzie!" In his words could be heard the annoyance he felt. Why did the two of them have to come over on this day? All Gilbert wanted to do over the holidays was enjoy his time with Anne and prove to her how far and deep his love ran, not only physically, but mentally as well. Every thought he had was taken up by her, as was every chamber of his heart, packed with emotions for which he was at a loss for words most of the time.

"Make me, Blythe!" Cole pursed his lips, finally bringing down Roy and Anne's defenses as they began to laugh out loud. "I've always wondered what Gilbert Blythe's lips taste like." It was a murmur that left his mouth, which still had the O shape of a pout.

"Peppermint, the taste of candy canes!" Anne beamed laughing, blowing Gilbert an air kiss, which he caught and placed on his heart, mouthing an "I love you!" that was reciprocated by her with the same gesture.

"Never mind, Cole. My lips are only meant for one, sorry," Gilbert uttered before he looked over at Roy. "Please, make him shut up. I don't care how, as long as he's silent." It was almost a beg, his hands clasped together in front of his chest as he looked pleadingly at Roy.

Roy gave his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead. "I can think of one or two ways to shut you up."

That was apparently not what Gilbert was trying to achieve with what he was telling Roy, which is why he addressed him again. "Please guys, I don't want to know about your sex life. Why are you here anyway? Anne and I are supposed to be in Avonlea today, so can either of you tell me why you're here on Christmas Eve?" 

Cole had to snort. "You of all people need to lecture us. Who's the one who can't keep his hands off his girlfriend. Damn it, Blythe, you're an Anne eater. You eat her up with your eyes. That's how desperate and crazy you are for her. If one look from you could get Anne pregnant, you'd be the father of a million children by now."

The artist's boldness caused Anne and Gilbert to blush at the same time, a slight pink tint coloring their faces, which were fixed on each other, chasing the attraction they felt. Roy gave Cole a peck on the mouth, then turned his attention to Gilbert, who, like Anne, had already forgotten that he was actually planning to prove to the others that they were better than the artist and his famous partner at throwing peanuts into each other's mouths. 

"We're here because Anne invited us. She left me a voicemail this morning saying that your flight to Canada was canceled because of the blizzard. Anne said you were going to bake cookies for us. I hope they taste good. I can't imagine our future doctor being able to bake."

Anne's eyes widened, obviously coming to a realization. "I forgot all about that. My mind must have been somewhere else. The thing is this...There are no cookies. We had a little mishap there when uhm… we followed where our passion led us." 

"Does that mean that just because you had to act like two horny teenagers, I have to go without my cookies now? "Cole reacted a bit exaggerated, laying his hand dramatically on his heart as he let himself fall on the sofa, noticing the weight of Roy's head on his stomach, who had to snicker, either because he was amused by Cole's acting skills or because it was just terrible.

The golden rays of the California sun shone through the villa's large glass fronts, projecting a warm halo onto the white tapestries of the huge living area. Gilbert rounded the table made of bamboo wood to be close to Anne whose red hair shimmered in shades of copper and gold, lit by the glow of the heavenly eye that placed a crown of light over her head. From behind, he wrapped his arms around her, resting his folded hands on her stomach. His lips graced the right side of her neck with a soft kiss. "Sorry, not sorry!" He started, resting his chin on Anne's shoulder. "You can't judge me for being crazy about this woman. My god, look at her. She is beautiful, smart, and kind-hearted. This woman is everything anyone could ever want." His words came along with a kiss on her temple, eliciting an angelic sound that left her lips.

"You are so cheesy!" Anne had to giggle, sinking into his torso, which she leaned her back against. "But I still love you, Gilbert Blythe. I always will." She beamed, lifting her head to place a gentle kiss on his Adam's apple.

Gilbert swallowed hard, never really able to comprehend properly what he did to deserve a woman like Anne, who, with a simple gesture, could knock his whole world off its axis. Even the simplest thing she did came with a magnitude that smashed into his heart, erupting like an earthquake. But Anne's love was not something temporary that would eventually fade. It was storms and hurricanes that would sweep him along and he would chase it for the rest of his life if he had to. Being loved by her was like a deluge that filled his lungs with breath he wanted only to share with her, intoxicated by the drops of the ocean her eyes and her heart held, the places where love swam that he bathed in. Her kisses and every touch that scorched to beneath his surface was a fire that warmed him. She was everything forever, his world and the universe into which her love brought him. Every touch of her brought forth an incandescent glow. She was shining stars and the glowing core of the moon, the sun, and every light that would light his way back in the darkness, painting in hues that made his world kaleidoscopic, showing him colors he knew he could not see with anyone else. Just as he saw the world, through a kaleidoscope so was his heart built, from small pieces put together by her a year ago, returning the beauty to his life, which since then he perceived more intensely than before.

Gilbert felt her cover his hands placed on her stomach with hers. As he noticed her warmth coursing through his veins, he could only think of one thing. "I love you, Anne-girl!" He blurted, voicing his thought aloud, which was rewarded by Anne with another kiss below his chin. He didn't see it, but she smiled, knowing she had reached the harbor that was her home. She knew there was no safer place in the world than with him. With him, she could be her true self without having to hide behind something she was not. To him, she was simply Anne, what she always wanted to be, his Anne.

"I love you more!" She whispered, forgetting everything else around her, which did not go unnoticed by a certain person.

Cole was looking for attention, clapping his hands to get it from the others. "This is all very sweet, a little too sweet for my taste. I almost feel strangely ashamed when I see your lovey-dovey posturing. But well, you are in love, so I forgive you for that. You're not alone in this room, though, so please have a little consideration for us." His quipping words came with a chuckle that echoed through the room, like the grumbling of his stomach a moment later. "I guess that's the cue that it's time to eat something, so what do you have to offer. Please tell me, Marilla's plum puffs, Anne."

The redhead shook her head, fiery curls dancing in the air as she did so. "Sorry, Cole but since we're not supposed to be here, but in Avonlea, I can't offer you much. "

"Great, you make millions but have nothing decent to eat in the house. Just look at me, Anne...I'm skinny, I need my calories." Cole huffed, his words leaving his mouth in a mumble. His gaze then went to Roy, who just shrugged and shoveled new peanuts into his mouth.

Gilbert, released his right hand from Anne's, using his left to caress her stomach as she contentedly pressed her body against his. He then retrieved his phone from his sweatpants, addressing his words to the others in the room. "I suggest we order something from Tony's Pizza Palace. He has the best pepperoni pizza in town. We know Tony and his staff and trust them with our address. So unless you have any other suggestions, I'll order there." 

"You know what? Order from Tony's. Anything is better than peanuts. I imagined Christmas Eve dinner differently but whatever. You guys know I'm a simple man, when I hear the word pizza I want some."

Like Cole, Anne and Roy also agreed to order pizza, which they did in the end. It wasn't what other people would imagine a Christmas Eve meal to be, but they were with people they loved, some amicably and others with a power that goes further than words could ever describe. They laughed, they ate, and they finished the bottle of Dom Perigon that Gilbert had bought a few days ago to drink with the family in Avonlea, hoping that there would be a reason for him to toast with expensive champagne.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes became hours. Time passed quickly and at some point, Cole and Roy decided to leave, much to the delight of Gilbert, who wanted nothing more than to have some time alone with Anne. All too eagerly, he hailed a cab for the two of them to get home safely, secretly rejoicing that he was finally rid of them. They became good friends to Gilbert last year, but they can be so annoying that he was only too glad to slam the door behind them.

"Thank God! They're finally gone." The dark-haired young man had to sigh, letting out all the relief he felt at that moment. "Don't get me wrong, I love those two like they're my brothers, but damn Anne-girl...They can be so annoying." The sound of his chuckle rang through the corridor of the villa. Gilbert stood in front of the coat rack in the marble-tiled hallway, taking something from his red plaid jacket that he will probably never part with. He then tucked the item into the gray sweatpants he was wearing, then made his way to Anne in the living area.

Anne lay on the sofa, her hands folded over her chest, her eyes fixed on Gilbert, who had his right hand buried in the pocket of his sweatpants. His expression was that of a happy man, wearing a smile on his lips that showed all the relief and joy he felt as he made his way to her. 

"Did you know that Cole was the first person to tell me you had a crush on me in high school? That was in our junior year when we had made the trip to Charlottetown. And you know what I did? I denied it, but today I know everything he said was true. You never stopped looking at me with that look. "

"Yeah?" He knelt on the designer rug spread in front of the sofa, bringing his hand up to Anne's face. His fingertips brushed gently across her cheek, trailing lines from one of her freckles to the other, tracing the constellation that he gazed at admiringly. He hovered over Anne, leaning over her as his lips met hers in an affectionate kiss.

"How do I look at you, Anne-girl? Can you tell me?" He breathed after he had kissed her, fanning her lips that sought his. She found the pads of his mouth where her lips sank, following the magnetic force of a man. As his tongue tickled hers, she read his heart that had her name written on the cover. She lost herself in pages that told of beauty, the blue of eyes that resembled the depths of the ocean he dove into when he first looked into them. In lines written with the ink of her love, she read of the wandering of a soul that found its half in her. She read of love, all she read of was love.

Gasping, she parted from his lips, seeing the corners of his mouth curl as he gave her his happy smile she loves so much. She used her index finger to caress his handsome features. "You look at me with love. Every time you look at me you make me feel like I'm worth looking at like that. With everything you do, I can feel that you love me. And that makes me love you a little more than I already do." She told him and nuzzled her nose gently against his.

Gilbert inhaled the air that carried the scent of lavender, her significant brand, the fragrance that tickled his nose every morning in the past twelve months, her head resting on his chest when her tendrils spread across his face the moment he opened his eyes in the early hours. It was a deep intake of air that he released from his mouth in an expulsion. A wave of nervousness came over him in the last few days, as he had plans for the Christmas holidays in their hometown, but they were ruined by the blizzard that swept across Canada. He spent weeks trying to find the right words for this one instant that should be of momentous significance. He had a speech but now he was speechless, breathless, and just plain love-struck. Every word he had secretly memorized for hours, previously written on paper, which he lit over the toilet to burn, flushing the ashes down afterward so as not to leave any clues, were suddenly no longer traceable for him.

He continued to kneel on the gray textured carpet, feeling Anne weave her fingers through his mane whilst she hummed an unknown melody in contentment. Her gaze wandered around the living room, coming to an observation she wanted to share with Gilbert, who seemed somehow absent with his mind. "I wish we had a Christmas tree. Do you remember the tree from last year? It was so beautiful and I loved decorating it with you. Promise me that from today on we will make sure to have a tree every Christmas whether we celebrate here or wherever." 

Assuming that they would celebrate Christmas in Avonlea, Anne and Gilbert refrained from getting a tree this year. Anne had to shoot for Lavender Fields by December 22 and Gilbert was busy with his work in the lab, so there was little time for either of them to buy a tree. And although the house was decorated for Christmas, with gold curtains of lights on the windows and fir garlands decorating the mantelpiece and other rooms, Anne missed the warm twinkling lights of a Christmas tree. 

With his mind elsewhere, Gilbert did not hear what Anne was telling him. There was this heaviness in the air that made it hard for him to breathe. Before him lay the moment he had been working toward for ten years. From the second his eyes met hers there was this feeling of forever, forever you and no one else. Anne was it for him, she controlled the fall and rise of his chest, and was the rhythm of his heart and his breath. She was the walls in which he was at home, surrounded by the love that never wavered. The wheels were turning in his head, weighing whether this was the right moment for what had taken over his every thought for the past few days. In the end, it was his heart that made the decision for him, pounding strong and rhythmically against his chest, 

"Anne-girl!" He exhaled deeply, reaching for her right hand, which rested on her stomach. "I love you." The three words he uttered were spoken in a way as if he were saying those words for the very first time. Anne just blinked, batting her long dark eyelashes that only made the blue of her eyes stand out even more.

His girlfriend eyed his face, seeing beads of sweat on his forehead that slowly slid down his cheeks. "And I, you!...But are you all right? You're sweating, Gil. Could it be that you have a fever?" Worrying about him, she carefully placed her palm on his forehead which tilted left and right as he shook his head.

"I'm fine, Anne!"

Not entirely convinced by his answer, she bit her lip, puzzling over why he suddenly seemed so tense. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I've never been more sure." A kiss on the knuckle of the hand he held fell from his lips, wearing a smile she felt on her skin. Her face was lit by a mild curve of her mouth, warming his heart that seethed with happiness, on the verge of letting out what had wanted to be let out for months, but for which he never found the right moment. Maybe it just didn't exist, the perfect moment to ask for what his being was longing for. Maybe the specialness of the moment lay in the fact that it was not a perfect one. But it was an Anne and Gilbert moment and that would always make it special.

"I have something for you that I have wanted to give you for a long time but never knew exactly how. Actually, I was going to give it to you at Green Gables under the Christmas tree. I thought I would be patient enough to wait but I don't want to wait anymore. Not when I see everything so clearly in front of me." Gilbert had to take a breath, seeing something in her eyes that he couldn't quite interpret.

As it would turn out shortly thereafter, her eyes held mischief. "I hope you don't mean sex. Imagine if Marilla caught us doing it under the Christmas tree. Now I'm glad to be here in our house and not at Green Gables." Anne covered her mouth, releasing her laughter into her palm.

"No Anne-girl. I don't mean sex even if the thought is very tempting but I would never do such a thing with you anywhere where Marilla could catch us. I don't even want to imagine her reaction." A chuckle left his mouth but disappeared into the room as quickly as it had come. A tension settled over the two, which was also visible in his posture, his upper body seemed to be stiff while he was kneeling on the cream-colored carpet.

"Oh, okay!" She said, straightening into a sitting position on the sofa. She wondered why Gilbert was still kneeling on the floor instead of sitting down with her but otherwise thought nothing more of it. 

"Please hold out your hands, Anne-girl!" He commanded in a gentle tone, letting go of his hand from hers so she could comply with his request. This she did without asking any questions, assuming to get a Christmas present from him. She was not entirely wrong in her assumption, but what she was to get from him was so much more. 

Without further words, Gilbert reached into the large pocket of his baggy sweatpants, retrieving a white cardboard box, which he placed in her hand. "Open it!" His words were a near whisper, barely intelligible to Anne, who suddenly noticed a change in mood in the room, as if someone had flipped a light switch, shifting from lightness to a moment Anne couldn't describe, but which felt like a change.

Sighing deeply, Anne did what was asked of her, slowly removing the lid from the box that held a transparent Christmas tree ornament that contained an item. "What is it, Gil?" She asked in wonderment, the ornament still lying in the box. 

Gilbert then took the box from her hands, her fingers suddenly beginning to tremble for reasons she couldn't explain to herself. Her subconscious seemed to understand the situation, but it had not yet reached her conscious mind. 

Her boyfriend made the decision to stand up, feeling Anne's eyes on him, following his steps. With all caution, he pulled the Christmas tree ornament out of the box, framing it with his large hand so that it was not possible for Anne to look at it closely at first. He laid it in her hand but continued to cover it with his. 

"Gil, what are you doing? Why can't I look at what you put in my hand?" Anne was visibly curious and somewhat confused, not being able to properly comprehend everything that was going on until the moment came when he once again fell to his knees. She leaned forward the moment her eyes shot wide open, red hair tickling his face that held an expectant expression. "Gil!" She whispered in a low voice, searching for words that she momentarily lacked. She looked down at him while he looked up at her.

The actress, however, didn't have to find words either, because Gilbert silenced her, putting his index finger to her lips to give voice to his heart that he let speak for him. "In you, I have found the greatest gift life could ever give me. You are the love of my life, Anne-girl, the keeper of the key to my heart." He started with what he wanted to tell her, watching her eyes well up with tears, shimmering in the evening light of the fairy lights hanging from the windows, like the pearls of a cracked shell on the bottom of an ocean. She slowly began to understand what was happening, noticing the increase in her pulse, which was throbbing through her veins at a rapid rhythm. Gilbert made her speechless, the look in his eyes, hopeful and so full of love, and that loving smile, all stole her words. Gilbert, however, had words to address her, using his left thumb to dry her tears before opening his mouth again.

"I...would choose you again and again, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I'll choose you next week, a month from now, a year from now. You are the easiest decision I have ever had to make because there is no doubt that you are the one for me. I lost myself in you, in your heart that I don't want to find my way out of, in you and all that you are. In you I have found my home, a place many people search for forever and some never find. I... found that in you." 

In the midst of his declaration of love for her, he needed air to breathe. It was hard for him to find oxygen, feeling the lump forming in his throat, overwhelmed by all the feelings. It was the way she looked that disturbed the function of his lungs. Her tears had smeared her makeup, dark mascara stains, ran from her eyes, which were red and puffy. Because she was lying on the sofa for so long, her silky red tendrils were disheveled. She looked like a mess but for him she never appeared prettier than at this moment. This was the most beautiful version of her being he had ever been allowed to see and even though he often saw her cry, this time was different than the times before. These tears were not beads of sadness, no, they were pearls of joy. After he had counted to ten in his head, breathing in and out, he continued with what he had to say, because there was still so much he had to tell her.

"For me, there was only you from the very first moment, because someone else never made sense, not when you exist. For the rest of my life, I want to hear your voice and kiss your lips. I want to give you everything I have to give, love you as you deserve to be loved, unconditionally with everything I am." Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes, escaping his lips in little sobs, the same way Anne's did. Her sobbing sounds were louder, from one wall to the other her tears ricocheted, coming back as an echo that mirrored the feelings he had been putting into words all this time, telling of love that goes deeper than words could ever say, of trust that is blind, needing nothing but the heart in which it has been built over the years, and of hope for a future, side by side.

The knuckles of his left hand brushed gently over her tear-smeared face as she raised her right hand to his cheek, wiping away tears he could no longer contain. "I love you, Gil!" Her utterance left her mouth, on which she tasted the salt of happiness in a broken whisper.

"I love you!" He smiled happily, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose, mixing his tears that dropped on the layer of her face with hers. " If there is one thing I am sure of, it is you. You are every reason and every dream I have. Everything I am, I am because of you, everything I do, I do because of you. You make me not only a happy man, but a better one too. My happiness shall be yours and your sadness shall be mine. I want to share everything with you, my life, my dreams, my everything. I have only one question left, Anne-girl and this you can find here in your hand."

In a moment that seemed like slow motion to Anne, Gilbert took his hand away from the ornament in her left hand. In black letters, "Will you marry me, Anne!" was written on the crystal-clear spherical ornament, in the body of which lay a golden ring with an emerald stone, the ring that was an heirloom of his mother.

Shortly before his death, John Blythe gave this ring, which had been an asset of the Blythe family for years, to his son. It was the ring of Gilbert's great-grandmother, who gave it to her son, who in turn passed it on to his son, always with the meaningful advice to marry only for love. Gilbert was just 15 when the ring passed into his hands but when he saw the emerald-green stone reflecting in the light of day, in the colors of the depths of the forest, he knew it belonged to the dryad that occupied his every thought at night and during the day, dancing barefoot on moss-covered tree trunks while he admired her like if she was a mystical thing that was out of this world. 

Anne's sobs resounded through the corridors of the mansion, speechless and overwhelmed by the situation. Tears ran inexorably down her face, soaking his hand with saltwater the moment he palmed his fingers in gentle caresses over her cheeks. Her lips and hands trembled, her heart raced like crazy, a tempo in each heartbeat that was uncontrolled and set by him. She tried to stabilize her breathing, her gaze fixed on the ornament in her hand, her chest rising and falling, inhaling and exhaling to find control over the emotional state she was in. But none of her attempts to calm down were crowned with success.

Every drop he saw, Gilbert tenderly kissed away from the porcelain surface of her face, placing a kiss on her skin wherever he spotted the shimmer of her tears. "What do you say, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert? Will you marry me and take my name from me in addition to my heart, which is irretrievably yours?" He asked, his expression hopeful.

From her trembling hands, he took the ornament in whose body lay the golden band that as he hoped would soon adorn her left ring finger. The upper part of the ball on which the hook was to hang the ornament on a Christmas tree was unscrewed by Gilbert, who after doing so reached into the cavity of the ball from which he retrieved the ring. The golden trinket was lying in a mesh bag, which he carefully removed from the precious heirloom. Anne was at a loss for words as Gilbert took her left hand in his, dropping a kiss on the free spot on her ring finger as he locked his eyes with hers. While he gazed into the ocean of her eyes, the piece that once belonged to his mother was positioned between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand while he outlined the lines of her left with the fingertips of his right hand, his thumb repeatedly brushing over the layer of her ring finger. Diamonds and jewels glittered in her eyes, beautifully shimmering like a mirror ball that mirrored all the things she loved about him, showing him every version of himself that lovingly rebounded back from her gaze, the echo of love that he understood even without hearing her voice. 

All she had to offer him was a croaky whisper, tainted with the tears that continued to fall like a waterfall from the corners of her eyes. "Yes!" She whispered, vehemently and decisively moving her head up and down. "My answer is yes. I want to marry you, Gilbert Blythe."

Many may believe that the most beautiful feeling to love is to be loved in return. Love, however, asks for nothing, it is unconditional. Love is not asking, it is giving. Love is a smile that is freely expressed without expecting one back. It is the free-falling into arms that want to protect. To love is an adventure, the discovery of imperfections in which someone who loves sees nothing but perfections. People love why they follow the sound of their heart and some are lucky enough to have that sound echo back. And one of those lucky people was Gilbert Blythe right now, who smiled lovingly at Anne. 

Gilbert's eyes lit up, looking warmly into hers. It took him a moment to understand that through his ears really did pass the 3 letters he'd longed for half his life, the approval of the woman he'd begun to love when she was just a girl, watching her grow up as he grew, just as his love for her grew with each passing year at her side. And even if there were years when he had to go on with his life without her by his side, he never fell out of the love he felt for her, which only grew stronger with each passing day.

This time it was Gilbert who was speechless, feeling joy to the marrow of his bones. Anne dropped the hand that held hers, curling her arms around his neck to pull him to her, gently placing her forehead against his where beads of sweat still pearled. 

"Do you know how much I love you? You are my first love and you will be my last. Nothing in this world can ever make me happier than you do every day. With everything you do, you prove to me how much you love me. To you, I am Anne of Green Gables and not Anne the actress. Your arms are the safest place in the world for me. I don't have to hide my feelings from you and show something that I am not. I am allowed to be me and to take off all my coverings in front of you. You know my dreams and I want to live each of them together with you, not only as husband and wife, but as equals and partners. I love you, Gil. More than words could ever say."

He wanted to open his mouth, but didn't get the chance as Anne pressed her lips against his, holding his chin in the hollow of her right hand while she kissed him. Her eyes shed tears that found their landing place in his face, covering his handsome features with a blanket of shimmering sequins, pearls that carried joy. The kiss was soft and tender, speaking the secret language with which their hearts communicated.

"You make me the happiest man in the world, Anne-girl." They were the first words Gilbert uttered after the affectionate exchange of kisses before he placed one last kiss on her ring finger over which he slipped his mother's ring. Slowly Anne's left hand then lifted into the air, illuminated by the Christmas lights hanging in the window. Her other hand found a place on her left chest below her heart beat at a booming pace.

"It's so beautiful, Gil. I couldn't have imagined a more beautiful ring." She said, moving her hand slightly left and right, looking at the reflections of the lights in the emerald green stone. "The ring fits perfectly, as if it were meant for me. But just so you know, I'd marry you with paper rings too. As long as I have you, I have everything I need." Her gaze fell back to Gilbert, who wore that million-dollar smile like he'd hit the jackpot, winning a trophy or a champion ring. 

"That was my mother's ring. It's a family heirloom that's been passed down from one Blythe to another for generations. I was 15 when I got it and even though I was very young, I knew I would only give it to you." he told her, running his right hand in soothing motions across her back whilst she sat on the sofa, admiring her fiancé and then the ring on her finger that held such a great importance. 

  
  


"Wow, that just makes the ring even more beautiful. Someday we'll give it to one of our children." She then leaned against his chest, resting her head on his heart that until it makes its final beat will beat only for her. Kissing her scalp, he whispered, "I love you, Anne-girl. 

"I love you more, Gil!"

"I love you most! Merry Christmas, my future wife." 

With his right hand, he tenderly took her chin, making her look up at him. He drew her nearer to him and then kissed her. It was not his girlfriend who felt the softness of his lips on hers, but his fiancée. Years ago he aimed at her heart and he hit right into it, into the core that envelops the love that was as deep as the waters into which he jumped, falling freely and never regretting the risk he took. 

After some moments of tongue-tied kissing and heart tangled exchange of breaths, Anne blew her exhalation softly against his lips, awakening a tingling feeling in him that only she was able to get out of him. He beamed with love, seeing her lips moving.

"Merry Christmas, my future husband." She whispered, wishing she could be this close to him forever to hear the steady rhythm of his heart and feel him tightly pressed against herself. Nothing felt better at that moment than the anticipation of taking this magnetic force of a man as her lover, sealed with a kiss and the exchange of two rings. 

In each other they found happiness, loving in heartbeats and fingerprints, in kisses and breaths they shared. Time did not matter to them, for the reason that the hands of time always stood still when they were together. They knew that they would always love each other, today, tomorrow, and for

evermore...

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will finally be the last. We experience the Christmases of 2022 and 2023. We know that both are happy but more Joy is on the way to them


	6. Epilogue Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news for Anne and Gilbert. Joy is on its way to them!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers! With this chapter we have reached the end of that story. It's the epilogue and gives a few glimpses into the lives of Anne and Gilbert. This story is my first ever finished story on Ao3 and I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who gave this story a chance. Thanks for reading, giving kudos and commenting. That means a lot to me. Everything comes to an end sometime and I hope you enjoy the end of this!!!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment!

**Christmas Eve 2022**

The Canadian winter did not disappoint this year. Avonlea was covered with a thick blanket of snow, patched together from countless flakes to bring a white Christmas to the entire town. On the roofs of the houses decked out in Christmas finery, decorated with fir garlands, Christmas wreaths, and lights in golden and colorful hues, lay blankets of snow, glittering in the different shades of light, discernibly reminiscent of the fluffy substance of cotton candy. Streets and landscapes were submerged under the massive snow, turning into everyone's dream, a magical place that resembled a Christmas winter wonderland. 

Gilbert Blythe and his wife Anne Shirley - Cuthbert - Blythe were invited to the Lacroix's for Christmas Eve this year. Pleased to have the opportunity to visit their families again after their wedding last September, they were only too delighted to accept the invitation. The year that was almost over was hectic for the two of them. In February, Anne landed her first starring role in a Disney production, a live-action adaptation of Brave in which she played the role of Scottish princess Merida, a role that was tailor-made for the feisty and adventurous actress. For the filming, Anne had to tear herself away from Gilbert for a month, who was reluctant to part with her, but supported and encouraged her in her career decision, which was a new step for her, challenging but also the chance to get new insights away from a series production. While Anne was in Scotland from February to mid-March shooting the movie, Gilbert spent most of his time in the lab, occupying himself with loads of work. It was to this time that he received the acceptance letter to begin his medical studies at the medical school in late September, where he was still employed as a medical research assistant at the time. He would have loved to celebrate this news with Anne, but she wasn't able to share his joy about making his dream, albeit late, a reality after all. At least not the way he wanted it to be. He would have lied if he had said he was not a little disappointed. That was one of the prices he had to pay if he wanted to be with her, one he would happily pay, knowing that she would be his forever. She was gone for four weeks, but he missed her as if it were three years. They made up for it all after the actress's shooting was over, celebrating the news with the friends they had made during their time in Los Angeles at a barbecue in their imposing garden to toast the future that lay ahead of them.

Knowing that they wouldn't have much time to plan for the wedding after Gilbert started medical school, they made the joint decision to get married before then. It was an intimate ceremony, with only the closest friends, in the orchard of Green Gables, where Anne had always dreamed of getting married one day. Diana came with her husband Fred Wright, whom she had married at Orchard Slope in April of that year, with Anne at her side as maid of honor, who in turn made her bosom friend hers. Green Gables Orchard had been specially prepared for their wedding ceremony. Guests found a seat on white wooden garden chairs, decorated at the back of the backrest with a light brown bow and a sunflower for each chair. Five chairs remained vacant, instead candles stood on them as a sign that their parents were with them that day, witnessing Anne and Gilbert tie the bond for eternity. Flower arches made of sunflowers and white roses decorated the aisle sprinkled with petals. Everything spoke of warmth and love, giving a picture of romance that was palpable in the air that day. 

Cole and Roy had come all the way from Los Angeles, not wanting to miss the day everyone had been looking forward to for years. For Anne's friends, it was always Gilbert, the young man who lost his heart to Anne a decade ago, unable to avoid getting lost in the maze into which her attraction led him, following the whisper of his heart that called out to her from the moment he first laid his eyes on her. She was a siren in the sea that carried him away, dragging him into the depths and beauties hidden buried within her. If there was one thing he was sure of as she walked down the aisle in the farm's orchard, surrounded by the people they cared about most, it was that she was it for him. The woman he loved ardently was everything his heart desired, the beginning and the end. She was his breath and the light, heart leaps and sunsets, dreams and storms he would forever chase, the love story he would always write until all the pages were filled with what her love made him feel. He was the Romeo to her Juliet for whom he would die if he had to. Anne was the fire that fueled and motivated him to become the best version of himself, igniting the engine in his body tanked up by her love alone. The moment when he saw her smiling, wearing a fairy-like wedding dress of French tulle that flattered her delicate body, hand-embroidered with tiny flowers in gray, pink, and white that adorned her entire gown and her floor-length cape that was a part of her bridal attire, floating across the lawn like an ethereal fairy queen, he knew that she would forever rule the kingdom of his heart, being the Queen of it to which he officially crowned her on the most beautiful day of his life so far when he became the King of hers. They sealed their love for each other with a tender kiss and the exchange of two rings, her name engraved in his and hers in his, just like they were in each other's hearts. And even if they both liked shiny things, they would have married with paper rings. The most important thing was to see his name next to hers and vice versa. For both of them, it was the happiest day of their lives, the happy ending, a mosaic puzzled together, whose pieces fused into each other like two candles, whose wicks burn only for each other. Their love was always a game with fire, branding names in hearts, passionately loving the other with everything they had, flaming lips and smoking breathes, burning fingertips that left marks on their skins, words full of warmth and the crackle that was always in the air when they were together. Even in the three years they had to live without each other, nothing could extinguish the blaze, the flaming embers in two hearts that melted into one when they were declared husband and wife.

The months after their wedding were filled with a lot of stress. Gilbert threw himself into his medical studies, while Anne was buried under all the work she had. Photoshoots for the promotion of Brave were on the agenda, interviews with magazines and morning shows to promote the movie that would open at Christmas were not uncommon. Therefore, the best part of their days was coming home, falling into each other's arms and blocking out life outside their four walls for a few hours, and making time for their spouse. In recent weeks, the stress left its mark on Anne. She was often exhausted and tired, on other days she felt dizzy and everything around her was spinning, becoming a blur that she saw before her eyes. Gilbert began to worry, often suggesting a visit to the doctor, which she always refused, blaming it on the stress that came with her work. Now they were back in Avonlea, and all she desired was to get some rest and just forget about the busy days of the past weeks.

"Anne-girl! Are you sure you don't want to lie down for a bit? The last few weeks and our trip to Avonlea were stressful. Surely you're exhausted?"

Gilbert stood in the doorway of the living room in the house that was once his home, where he grew up and where memories of his father could be found in every corner, old belongings, and quite a few photos of him hanging on the walls in the hallway. Despite the memories that will always trigger an ache in his heart, it was not as immense as Gilbert had imagined, who was too worried about his lifemate, seeing her sitting on the light brown carpet with four-year-old Delphine, painting a picture together with her that they wanted to put under the Christmas tree that evening. It was meant to be a thank you for Santa Claus together with a cup of milk and chocolate chip cookies. "I can paint a picture with Delphine and then you can get some rest."

Mary and Bash had gone into town that late afternoon of December 24th to run last-minute errands for Christmas Eve dinner, as well as pick up presents for Delphine, which they had left with friends to hide from their noisy daughter. This circumstance left Anne and Gilbert alone with Delphine, who was thrilled to spend time with her Uncle Gilbert and Aunt Anne.

Dellie looked up from her sheet of paper to her uncle, dropping her crayon to cross her arms. "No!" she shouted, not at all thrilled with what Gilbert had suggested. "You can't paint. Auntie Anne paints prettier, much prettier than you. I want Santa to have a nice picture. If you do it he won't leave any presents here. Of that I am sure." To make her point, she clasped Anne's sheet of paper lying on the floor with her little fingers and lifted it up to show her uncle. Anne had already drawn Santa Claus on the piece of paper and was in the process of painting a Christmas tree, which she had started to color. "Look! This is what Santa is supposed to get. Something nice but if you draw it won't be pretty." She then handed the picture back to Anne, who leaned over and gave Delphine a kiss on her forehead after brushing dark curls to the side and tucking them behind the little girl's ears.

There were many similarities to Mary in Dellie, but she clearly got the teasing behavior from her father. And Gilbert didn't like that at all, feeling like he was never safe from any teasing. He wished he could celebrate Christmas Eve at Green Gables, but the Cuthbert/Blythe/Lacroix family decided to celebrate at someone else's house every year, and this year it was the Lacroix's turn to host the festivities. Marilla wouldn't be able to celebrate with the others until the next day. She had accepted a dinner invitation from the Lynde's for Christmas Eve, which she didn't want to cancel, assuming this would be relatively rude.

Meanwhile, Anne smiled at the girl she had come to love over the past few years. From the very first moment, Christmas Eve two years ago, Dellie managed to capture her heart, for whom Anne has been kind of an aunt ever since. "Thank you my sweet honey bee. You are very talented too. " She let Dellie know before turning and addressing her words to Gilbert. "Listen to your niece, Gil! You have your talents but we both know that artistically you are rather untalented."

Crossing his arms, Gilbert could feel the corners of his mouth lifting up. "And what about all those poems I wrote you in high school? Poetry is a form of art, sweetheart."

"I tore them up for a reason." Anne made every effort to stifle her laughter, glancing at Gilbert, who put his right hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt.

"You wound me Anne-girl. You know well enough that it was an expression of my admiration for you. At our wedding, you cried when I read my self-written vow. So yes, I can't draw or paint, but everything I've ever written for you came from here." With his right hand, he tapped his left chest, giving meaning to his words with the gesture. "I'm not an artist nor a poet. All I am is a man who loves and first and foremost lets his heart speak for himself. And as long as I can be the man who is allowed to love you, I don't want to be anything else. You are art for me, a masterpiece that colors my world and all I want is to paint your world with my colors to make you happy. But you haven't looked happy the last few weeks. You are stressed and constantly tired. I'm worried about you, Anne-girl. I don't want to patronize you but I really think it would be better if you lay down a bit."

Gilbert's suggestion was met with little approval from Anne, who had meanwhile shifted her gaze back to the piece she was creating, not daring to tore her eyes from the white paper in front of her to look at her husband although his words enveloped her heart with a warm feeling. Instead, she just shrugged. "First of all, you're cheesy. I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me and just let me draw a picture with my niece." Her words held a certain annoyance that Gilbert detected in her remarks a bit more often in the last two weeks. She had been having quite the mood swings for some time. One second she was laughing happily and cheerfully and the other tears were running down her cheeks for no reason, her need for sex was increasing, which at first surprised Gilbert, who was not averse to the whole thing, giving himself willingly to his wife to give her the satisfaction her body craved. Nevertheless, he found everything very strange and even more worrying.

He just rolled his eyes, which was hidden from Anne, who was using a green wax crayon to color the Christmas tree she had put on the sheet of paper that lay flat on the floor. "Well, it's your body. After all, you have to know best how you feel. I'm just worried about you. So forgive me that your husband who loves you is worried about the woman who is the most important thing to him."

"Uncle Gilby are you and Auntie Anne having a fight?" Delphine chimed in somewhat curious about the behavior of her aunt and uncle. Albeit she was only four, she was a very observant girl who was already quite a bit ahead of her classmates. But as four-year-olds are, her attention quickly turned back to her picture for Santa, making Anne sigh with relief at not having to explain to a four-year-old girl what was going on with her. 

How should she explain something to a child that she herself is still processing properly? For two days now, she knew what was wrong with her, but she couldn't tell anyone yet, and certainly not a little girl. The only soul she shared her secret with was Matthew, whose grave she had visited alone the previous day, while Gilbert helped Sebastian deliver Christmas trees.

"Everyone argues sometimes, honey bee. But this isn't an argument, this is just Auntie Anne having one of her famous mood swings." Gilbert had to chuckle, raking his right hand through his dark curls, his gaze focused on the red-haired beauty as he left his place in the doorway and approached his wife, who seemed unfazed by his approach, inhaling the scent of apples and cinnamon that tickled her nostrils the closer he got to her.

Standing behind her back, he went into a crouch, positioning his hands on her shoulders, which he gently pulled back, getting Anne to lean her head back into her neck. She looked up at him, having the silly smile that danced around his lips in her field of vision. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked curiously, able to feel his hands gently digging into the flesh of her shoulders, which he began to massage soothingly.

His head hovered over hers as he counted the stars of his Milky Way. The smile on his lips made hers curve into one as well. She was grinning from ear to ear. They beamed at the other, like two stars in the firmament that can't live without the star next to them. "I love you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe. Even if you're not quite yourself lately. " His breath then met her lips as he brought his hands off her shoulders under her chin, which he held, caressing the sides of her neck with the tips of his thumbs. The lips that just had a smile on them met hers, giving her a kiss that was still as addicting as the very first one he gave her years ago. Even the smallest kiss from him made her feel that tingling in her stomach, that feeling that only he could fabricate, expressing all the love that grew with every kiss and touch. The kiss was tender, loving, and full of emotion, but ended too quickly for Anne, who chased his mouth with closed eyes and pursed lips after noticing the absence of his mouth on hers.

While Anne's gaze followed him adoringly, Gilbert sat down with his wife and niece on the carpeted floor, looking at what the two had put on paper so far. Delphine crawled over to him, sitting on his lap to show him the picture she had painted. He gently caressed the girl's cheeks, marveling at the colors she had used. "Will you describe to me what you drew, honey bee?" he inquired, not able to discern what she had drawn, giving his attention to Delphine, who wore a toothy grin on her face. 

Behind her rib cage, Anne felt her heart overflow, which was about to burst, when she saw how affectionate Gilbert was with Dellie, brushing his hands over the girl's dark curls. No one has ever made her feel the way he did and seeing how much love he carries not only for her but for others made her realize all over again how lucky she actually was to call this magnetic force of a man her lover and husband.

Merrily, Delphine started to describe her picture. "That's Mommy, Daddy, Auntie Anne, you and me at the North Pole with Santa. Auntie is the one with the red hair." She pointed to a stick figure she had drawn but wore red hair instead of all the other figures. "Those two are Mommy and Daddy!" The two stick figures she showed her uncle were holding hands and over one of them Delphine had drawn a yellow circle that made Gilbert curious.

"What does the circle mean?"

"Uncle Gilby, that's not a circle. That's Mommy's halo. Daddy always calls Mommy an angel and I don't know how to draw wings which is why I drew a halo instead."

"Ah, I see. Do you think I might try it once and give your mommy wings?" He pressed a kiss to Dellie's scalp and looked over at Anne, winking at her the moment he put a smile on her lips that rivaled the moon, the sun, and millions of stars.

He was so damn good with children. Her imagination took her to a place in the future, picturing him with a little girl in his arms. The future Gilbert rocked the bundle he held gently, in a way as if it were the most precious and fragile thing in the world, singing a lullaby that Anne was humming at that moment, feeling joy settling on her skin like a warm summer rain. She could feel a shiver run down her spine, as if fizz were being poured into her blood, making every cell of her body tingle. It was intense, the feeling inside her, a warmth that gave color to her pale cheeks. If the thought of having a child with him could already awaken this feeling of happiness in her, what emotions would she feel when the time finally came and she saw him outside of a dream with a baby in his arms? She couldn't stop him from putting roots into her dreamland and she didn't want to when her hands wandered to her belly, gently brushing her palms over a curve not yet visible to others.

"Auntie do you think I should allow Uncle Gilby to give Mommy wings. I don't want him to ruin my picture for Santa. What would you do?" The angelic sound of Delphine brought her back to the present, seeking advice from her aunt. But it couldn't take away the thoughts in Anne's mind, thoughts of a future that wasn't far off.

Wearing a soft knowing smile on her lips, she turned her gaze to Gilbert, seeing in his eyes the love she felt. "You must know, honey bee, that your uncle can make the best wings in the world. He gives me wings every day. You may not be able to see them, but it's the same as Santa. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I trust your uncle. You might want to do the same." Anne was beaming, her face had a glow that couldn't have been more beautiful for Gilbert at the moment. The corners of his mouth rose, smiling at her like a teenager in love, although he had loved her for ten years, first secretly, then properly, and now forever, he was sure of it.

"I make particularly good snow angels. Aren't I, Anne-girl?" he asked smugly, referring to the first kiss after three years with her, the kiss he gave her two years ago in the snow, and let his heart melt into hers.

Anne just hummed, biting her lower lip. "Hmmm. The best." 

While Gilbert and Anne got lost in the gaze of the other, Delphine was thinking about what her aunt had said to her a few minutes earlier. Putting her finger on her lips the four-year-old thought for a moment. "Okay!" She then started after a brief moment, tilting her curly head to the side to look up at Gilbert. "You get to draw Mommy wings but you have to give Auntie Anne some too so we and Santa can see them." The little girl held out her small hand to her uncle to seal the deal, causing Anne to laugh with her determined manner.

"Deal!" Gilbert shook his niece's small hand, then took her off his lap and started drawing wings for the stick figures that were supposed to represent Mary and Anne. After a few strokes with a black crayon, he showed the picture to Dellie, who had looked away while her uncle was busy giving her mommy and aunt wings. She hoped that he hadn't ruined it. "What do you say? I gave you wings too. Of course, I'll never be as good an artist as you are, I know that, but I think Santa will like it. Don't you think so?"

Dellie's chubby cheeks lifted as she snatched the picture from Gilbert's hand for a closer look, smiling delightedly at him. "Santa will love it. Thank you, Uncle Gilby." She put a big smack on his cheek before she marched to the Christmas tree, which stood imposingly in the corner of the living room, brightly decorated and sparkling in the colors of a rainbow.

"I guess I'm not that untalented, huh?" He boasted, seeing Dellie joyfully dance around the Christmas tree with the picture in her hand. His question was addressed to his wife, feeling the intense look she shot in his direction on his skin.

Sitting across from him, Anne reached for Gilbert's right hand, guiding it to her lips. On the gold band she put on his ring finger 3 months ago, she placed a kiss, letting her lips linger there as her gaze lifted to his eyes, seeing a sparkle in hazel eyes that only she could ignite. "I guess not." She breathed, placing his hand on her cheek. "I love you, Gil. I'm sorry you've been at the mercy of my constant mood swings these past few weeks. I promise it has nothing to do with you. I'm fine, really. You make me so happy, you don't even know how much." Leaning forward, she gave him a kiss, on the lookout for his closeness that she missed at the moment. In recent weeks, Anne has been in great need of closeness, seeking the support of his arms, the home port in which she sought shelter, but as close as he was to her, nothing was ever close enough.

A feeling of relief washed over Gilbert, pressing her close to his body, always knowing exactly what she needs. And while Dellie fell somehow asleep on the big sofa with her picture for Santa in hand, he drew Anne nearer to him, lying on the floor with her, her head on his chest and his hand in her hair.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Anne-girl. You know I'm only so worried because I love you. Everything I do, I do out of love for you." he whispered into the room, hearing the soft snores of Dellie whilst he wove his fingers through the red tendrils of the woman in his arms. 

"I know." Anne pressed her body tighter into her husband's flesh, enclosing the center of his body with her hands, wanting to hold the man who has never found his way out of her heart since the day he stumbled into it, and never will step out of it given that she locked the door that would lead him out. "I probably haven't been the best wife imaginable these past few weeks. I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way with my hot and cold behavior. I would never do that on purpose and I hope you know that. But filming Lavender Fields and the promotional tour for Brave has been so exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if acting is really what I want anymore. You know that it was never what I was striving for. I got into it by accident but I'm losing the joy of it more and more." Her confession came along with a heavy sigh, sounding somewhat frustrated. 

Through the fabric of Gilbert's shirt, Anne felt the steady heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest, feeling so calm and safe, as if nothing and no one could ever hurt her, not as long as she had him with her. To hear the heartbeat of the person she loved most was the most beautiful music she had ever heard. 

He dropped a kiss on her scalp, inhaling the scent of lavender, the smell he'll forever associate with home, simply because it's her scent. "Nobody is forcing you to work as an actress for the rest of your life. You would have to fulfill your current contracts, of course, but when they expire, you could do whatever you feel like. You have so many options, Anne-girl. You could teach or write. That's what you've always wanted to do. Whatever you decide to do in the end, I'll support you. All I want is for you to be happy."

Gilbert had always had the impression that, despite all the money she made, life as an actress was not fulfilling for her. He knew her well enough to realize that life in the spotlight was not really what she had expected from her life. What was a dream for many others felt more and more like an obligation for Anne, tied to contracts that defined her life, and as little as Anne wanted to continue this life, so little did Gilbert, who only wanted Anne to do something that would bring her joy.

Anne didn't want to make a decision without first talking it over with Gilbert. Caressing his cheeks gently with her left index finger, she spoke to him in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake Dellie. "You really wouldn't mind if I gave up acting?"

"Not if that's really what you want. You have enough talents to do something else with your life. To me, you will always be the same person I met under the bleachers, no matter what you do. The acting was an adventure but life has more of it to offer and even if I don't like to share you with anyone, I know that besides being my bride you are also the one of adventure, and no matter which one you choose I will experience it with you."

She knew he was right. Her greatest adventure was yet to come and if there was anything that would make her life worth living, it would be his love, shared experiences, and all the adventures that fill it. Maybe it really was time for something new, a life away from cameras, the house on the edge of the forest she dreamed of, and the laughter of children. She was always adventurous and in love with the possibilities life had, one of the greatest was the path she walked with the man whose heart was hers alone. The one who gave her the greatest gift of her life without knowing it.

She straightened up a bit, resting her elbows on his chest, seeing a satisfied smile light up his handsome features. Her right thumb brushed over the lips that held her dearest curve of happiness, the warmness of her fingertip dipping into the lines of his kissable cushions the moment she spoke up. "My greatest adventure I have with me but you're right. Life is too short to spend it doing something that doesn't make me happy. I want more time with you, more kisses and hugs. If I could choose I would start writing, be inspired by my life with you, your love, and the experiences of my past. But I don't think I'll have time for that anytime soon."

Enjoying the moment as his wife caressed his lips, the corners of his mouth heaved, his smile tactical for Anne on her thumb in which he playfully bit, in this way getting a giggle out of her. Anne, however, had another idea to follow the attraction that was never to be denied, as she lowered her head, approaching his face. Her exhalation was like a warm summer breeze, breathing against his lips as they crashed into hers. His hands clasped her back, pressing her against him to feel her close. Anne could perceive him smiling between the kiss they shared, which she would have liked to intensify but took the precaution of not doing so with Delphine in the room, not knowing how deep the four-year-old's sleep was.

"You are the love of my life." Anne breathed, gasping for air, seeking the breath he stole from her lung. Seeing him look at her with such intensity stole it just a little more, making it harder for her to breathe.

"And you are mine, Anne-Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe. That name really is a mouthful." Gilbert had to chuckle, being in close proximity to her parted lips, the red sensual cushions that soaked up the breath that escaped his mouth. For the rest of her life his breath would be hers, every day he would steal it from her without asking, kissing and breathing he would give her new ones, sharing it with her until he took his last breath.

"I know another way to stuff your mouth instead of with my name, Mr. Blythe." The heavenly sound of her giggles sounded in his ears. Looking deep into his eyes, Anne trailed a path from his forehead to his chin with the knuckle of her index finger, lying on top of him, aware of his hands on her back, holding her tightly in his grip.

"And what would that be Mrs. Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe?"

"Close your eyes and I'll show you." Anne offered, kissing the right corner of his mouth teasingly. 

With a smile on his lips, he did what Anne asked of him, enjoying the warmth her hands gave off on his cheeks, setting everything he was made of on fire. Her lips brushed over his, teasing him as she bit his upper lip to gain access to his oral cavity, which he readily granted her, his fingers pressing into her back as she drove him crazy with what she was doing. Her tongue then slipped into his mouth, knotting with his as she kissed him passionately and hard, tasting the flavor of his breath, the freshness of peppermint. The sleeping Delphine was forgotten as they expressed their love for each other. They kissed breathlessly with tongues circling and lips brushing, wordlessly telling each other "I love you!" until at some point they could no longer breathe and their lips parted.

Both took a moment to fill their lungs with air again, smiling lovingly at the other. Anne twirled one of his dark curls around her index finger, seeing a satisfied smile on his lips that he gave her. "My name took on meaning when I became a Cuthbert and with the gift of your name that you gave me with our marriage, I became another Anne, the Anne who is your wife, loved by the best man in the world and soon I will be another Anne. "

"Another Anne?" Gilbert asked curiously, his hazel orbs narrowed the moment he propped his elbows on the floor, moving into a sitting position. 

She just gave him another kiss, one that was more tender than what they had exchanged a few minutes earlier. Anne could wait no longer. Overcome by emotion, she made the impulsive decision that this moment was the perfect one to give him his Christmas present, even if it wasn't technically Christmas yet. In recent years, however, it had become a tradition between them to give each other their gifts already on Christmas Eve and there was no reason for her to do it differently this year.

Followed by his gaze, she got up from the floor, tiptoeing to the Christmas tree so as not to wake Delphine who was slumbering on the sofa, pulling a soft wool blanket over her small body and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before going to the tree. "You heard me right. Soon I will be a different Anne and I can't wait for it to happen. I think it's time to give you your present. I hope you like it because it's not returnable." Turning her back to Gilbert, she smiled softly to herself, bending down to get the gift she had placed under the tree the night before.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll love it." Gilbert replied, who made his way to her, kissing her forehead before he retrieved a small gift from under the multicolored Christmas tree that twinkled in the colors of the rainbow, making the room colorful like their love for each other their lives. The present for his wife was wrapped in white wrapping paper printed with gold stars, adorned with a gold silk bow that was tied around the small box.

Anne had to smile, seeing the gift in his hand. "I see your wrapping talents have improved in recent years, huh?." She remarked teasingly, pointing her right index finger at his hand,

"Well, a beautiful soul like you should only get the best so I watched a video on Youtube on 'how to wrap a gift so it looks pretty'. Those were the exact words I used for the search." He told her nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders as if it was the most normal thing in the world to take the time to learn how to wrap presents. "It took me hours to get it looking like that. But for you, I did it with pleasure." He knew that Anne wouldn't love him more for it than she already did, well maybe she did, but what he was getting at was the smile she bestowed him with and the gleam in her eye that was visible in her expression at that minute.

"It definitely paid off. But because of me, you didn't have to go through the trouble. I love all gifts, no matter how they're wrapped. Don't you know you give the best gifts, Gil?" She felt the need to put her hand on her belly but didn't. So she gave him his present, a rectangular box wrapped in brown paper on which she stuck a red circle as a nose and two eyes. On the upper part of it, she had glued two horns which in the end looked like Rudolph the rednosed Reindeer.

"Sweet!" Commented Gilbert, taking the gift from her hand. He gave her a kiss as a thank you with which he put a smile on her lips and made her cheeks blush. 

She had to bite her lip, this time as a sign of nervousness. After all, she didn't know how he would react to her surprise. "The contents are just as sweet as the wrapping, and no, they're not chocolates." Directly after her statement, she covered her mouth, releasing her laughter into her palm. Crossing her hands behind her back shortly after her laughter had faded, her body then swung anxiously from left to right, nervously watching as Gilbert carefully opened the gift. He didn't want to destroy the wrapping paper that had been so lovingly crafted, so he was extra careful with it, making his wife more nervous by the second. Her impatience increased rapidly, which after some minutes she could not keep inside any longer. " My God, just tear it up, please, Gil. I can't stand it any longer." 

Amused at his wife's behavior, Gilbert had to chuckle, sitting on the rocking chair that was next to the tree and that used to belong to his father. "Impatient, aren't we?" Blowing her an air kiss, he finally opened the present and Anne could finally let out the breath she was holding, seeing a white box on his lap, which he suddenly lifted to his ear and shook, trying to figure out what might be inside the box.

The redhead rolled her eyes. "Damn it, Gil. Open it already. You're going to get us... I..I mean me killed if you don't look in that goddamn thing already." She hoped she had covered her almost slip in time. She almost gave away more than she momentarily intended and what could have ruined the whole surprise.

"And there they are again, the famous mood swings of the even more famous Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe. " Gilbert humored in jest, shifting his gaze from his wife to the box in his lap. With twitching fingers, he lifted the lid of the white cardboard box, where at first he saw only a layer of white paper. Carefully he removed it, hastily crumpling it up then throwing it on the carpet beside him. For a few minutes, he just stared at the contents of it, obviously speechless, searching for words that were hard for him to find. 

"Anne-girl! He gasped after some moments that felt like an eternity to Anne, his fingertips running over a white baby romper with 'Oh, baby' printed on it. Still in the box were three positive pregnancy tests and an ultrasound picture with the date of the day before yesterday and Anne's name on it, showing the shape of a baby whose head and body were developed enough to tell that it was indeed a human being that was now growing inside Anne.

"You're going to be a daddy, Gil. This time next year we'll be holding our baby in our arms. Didn't I tell you that you give the best gifts?" Her expression held a smile and an incandescent glow, joy was audible in the words she addressed to Gilbert.

A silence settled over the two, only the soft snoring of Dellie was hearable in the living room of the Lacroix household Holding the baby onesie in his left hand, Gilbert dropped the box to the floor and got up from the rocking chair, which was still rocking, as he knelt on the rug across from Anne, who was beaming with euphoria. The first thing he had to do was to kiss her. The kiss he planted on her lips was just a tiny seed of love that grew with everything they shared. Every smile and every gaze, every single touch and word was the bud of a tree that was rooted in the other's heart, growing with everything the other did. The tears that were wept in all the years were also the water of this love that now bears the harvest of what they had planted together.

He was still at a loss for words that were swallowed up by the emotions he was feeling when he parted from her lips. For this reason, he could do nothing but place his right hand on her belly, his golden wedding ring reflecting in the colorful light of the Christmas tree as he gently ran his fingertips over the tiny curve he could feel under the grey sweater she was wearing, the one he gave her, years ago as a Christmas present. Without uttering a word, he first glanced at her middle before locking his eyes with hers, having a conversation without words with Anne, who didn't need to hear his voice to know what he was asking her. Tears of joy began to appear in the corners of the redhead's eyes, a reaction to the grin on Gilbert's face. She nodded vehemently, covering her mouth with her left hand while placing her right on top of his.

"We're having a baby!" It was a soft whisper that escaped Gilbert's mouth, the corners of which lifted immediately afterward. His eyes held the same gleam as Anne's, pearls full of joy, the expression of the fulfillment of a dream that would now grow into a reality in Anne's womb. His right hand was then replaced by his lips, planting a kiss on her belly, so warm and tender that Anne could feel it through the thick layer of the grey knitted sweater. Resting his head on her stomach, he started to talk with the baby that grew in her.

"Hi, my little carrot. I'm your daddy. Your mommy sometimes calls me an idiot or a cheesy dork. Most of the time, though, she calls me Gil." He had to chuckle, the movement of his head noticeably for Anne who threaded her fingers through the thick structure of his dark curls, crying tears that dropped on his hair, sinking into his scalp while he continued speaking to her belly. " We both can't wait to meet you. You will be loved by us, you already are, so don't be afraid to become a part of this world. We will protect you no matter what. Your mommy says I gave her the best Christmas present but that's not true. You are a gift we made for each other, made from our love. Your beautiful mommy and you are the best thing that ever happened to me and I will love you until I leave this earth one day. You don't know how much I love you already, my little carrot so does your mommy. We love you so much." 

Wearing the brightest smile on his face that Anne had ever seen, he looked at her, wiping away the tears with his thumb that escaped her ocean blue eyes. "I love you so much, future mother of my child. You don't even know how happy you made me with this little miracle. My God, Anne-girl, we're having a baby. I can't believe it to be honest...It's so crazy, crazy, and beautiful. "

"Does that mean you are happy with the news?" Anne sobbed, covering his hand that lingered on her cheek with hers, leaning into the warmth of his touch. Although she knew he wanted children with her, she was a little anxious in relation to his reaction. He'd started his medical degree in September, so she didn't know if this was the right time to have a baby. All was forgotten when he kissed the tip of her nose, unable to get rid of the smile that was on his face and that she could feel on her skin, but he didn't want that either, loving the feeling of pure bliss. Admiring Anne, he wondered how he actually deserved this happiness that ran through his veins and pumped his heart full of serotonin, almost making it burst.

"Happy? I've never felt anything like this before. It feels like fireworks in thousands of colors that are bright and warm and just give a feeling that I have no words to describe. But when happy is enough for you, then yes ... I am happy, the happiest man in the world." He kissed her tenderly to show her how happy he felt even though it wasn't necessary, his whole appearance spoke of happiness, his bright hazel eyes and a luminous smile that said 'Look here, I won the jackpot.' At that moment Gilbert couldn't have been happier.

Anne looked ethereal with that glow on her face, a radiance that must have been the pregnancy glow so many people always talk about, her red hair falling over her left shoulder, revealing the love bite on the right side of her neck that he had branded her skin with last night when they made passionate love. Enchanted by his wife Gilbert wanted to express his feelings. "I love you, Anne-girl!" He breathed softly.

They were words Anne had heard thousands of times by now, but caused an explosion inside her every time, the fireworks that Gilbert tried to describe a moment ago, bearing always a beauty that left Anne speechless. And as much fire and flames as Gilbert was for Anne, warming her with words and touches, in truth he was the fireworks in her sky, all the colors that she could only see because of him.

"Certainly not more than I love you!" She tried to hold back her smile, winding her arms around Gilbert's nape as he laid his on her lower back, tenderly tugging her closer to him. However, her lips quivered so much that she could no longer resist the urge to smile, mirroring the happiness that he radiated.

"Shall we argue now about who loves whom more? Because if so, then be prepared to lose." Gilbert voiced, amused, hovering over Anne, who stared lovingly into the eyes of the man who had given her nothing but pure happiness and love in recent years, showering her with so much of everything that all she could do was allow this love to flow, let herself be carried away by the current, drowning in him like a tidal wave as he covered her with fingertips and breaths to keep her alive despite she was drowning.

From the abyss of her soul to the depths of her heart everything was full of him, closing all the gaps and wounds that she once thought could not be healed. Matthew's death no longer left the excruciating pain that years ago seemed like it would never leave her. Sometimes she still felt a sadness, a certain melancholy but no longer the shattering of her heart when she thought of her beloved adoptive father. Gilbert did what he promised her, he shared everything with her, including her pain and tears and she could only love him more for it. Of course, it wasn't just Gilbert who helped her heal and overcome the grief, one of the most tragic chapters of her life. The mystical time that had opened her, and then healed her fine had something to do with it, too, but her fountain of healing was the love of the man she knew had enough love to not only love her, but also the being that they created together.

Anne glimpsed briefly over to the sofa, where Delphine was still cuddled up in the wool blanket, making the pregnant woman wonder how the little one can sleep so tight. She pondered if it was something she'd inherited from Bash or Mary, like her smile that resembled her mother's, or the hue of her eyes that had the same tone as her father's. The question of what her child would have from her and Gilbert made the wheels in her head spin, and even if she had preferences, she came to the conclusion that the most important thing in the end would be the child's health.

Shaking her head, her attentiveness quickly shifted back to Gilbert, in whose protective arms she was still wrapped, feeling his hands gently run over her back. "Do you think I love you less than you love me?" She wanted to know, raising her right eyebrow, tapping her fingers against his bare skin as they encircled the back of his neck anew, eliciting a chuckle from him with this action.

"I didn't say that, sweetheart. But from this day on I have to love you twice. After all, two hearts are beating in you now that want to be loved by me." he uttered with a fat grin, tickling her with the breath of his exhalation that hit her face, tasting like candy canes she suddenly had an appetite for, but maybe it was the longing for his lips on hers or the pregnancy hormones that suddenly made her want to lick a candy cane.

"Your reasoning is not bad, but it is flawed. I am the one who has two hearts in me. In conclusion, that means that I have more love to give to you. Me and our little carrot love you, Gilbert Blythe. You can now admit that I'm winning."

"Okay, okay, I surrender. Do you know what price you want to have? I mean, as the winner, you deserve a reward too." Defeated, Gilbert threw up his arms, loving the way Anne's eyes danced, sometimes appearing lighter, then darker in the colorful light of the Christmas tree. 

The second he saw one of the most beautiful smiles he ever saw light up her face, he decided it was best to keep to himself that he let her win. He felt transported back to his youth, more specifically to a spelling bee in high school that he let her win by misspelling the word engagement. Standing there in the living room, he realized that as a 15-year-old teenager, facing a fiery redhead in the classroom, he already had the dream of one day marrying her. That was over 10 years ago and now he was not only married to the love of his life, but also on the cherished path of parenthood with her. Damn, he must have done a lot right to be honored with such luck.

Ultimately, it was Anne's sweet voice that had maneuvered his thoughts from the past back to the present, gently gazing into the warmth of hazel's eyes as she reached for his right hand, placing it on her belly.

"I already have the most valuable treasure in me, thank you for that by the way. Our wedding night surely paid off." She giggled, blushing at the moment her thoughts took her elsewhere for a split second, back to that wedding night in September that was wild and hot and gave her the wonder she now carried with her. Long red tendrils danced as her head tilted first to the left and then to the right, shaking the warm thoughts that were rather hot from her mind just as she put her index finger to her lips to think. " Hmm now let me think...How about if you put your sweet lips on mine?"

"I think that can be arranged. " Gilbert grinned with mischief twinkling in his eyes, lifting his left hand to her cheek.

Expectantly, Anne got ready for her prize, moistening her mouth with her tongue while she awaited his lips, which approached hers with a wide smile, expelling his breath against her skin and opening the pores of her epidermis on which a blanket of goosebumps settled, covering her whole physique with marks of love. First, he teased her mouth with his tongue, the tip gently brushing over her upper and lower lip, feeling one of Anne's arms snake around his neck, bringing him closer as she stood on tiptoe, her face in the gentle hold of his hand. Despite the fact that his eyes were closed, he quickly found access to her open mouth, sucking on her soft moist lips that were the symbol of seduction for him, a heavenly sin to which he was hopelessly addicted. He would never be able to resist these lips and this woman, knowing that no one else could ever awaken this desire in him than his goddess of love. Their tongues flapped against each other like wing beats, tangling with each other, stealing breath and words that they both always thought were overrated. Their language of love needed no words, for them, a look was enough to voice what they felt.

Caressing her stomach tenderly, Gilbert's lips slowly drew away from hers, his forehead resting on hers after the kiss. "Thank you for the most wonderful Christmas gift I have ever received. Two years ago, when I saw you with Dellie in your arms in front of the Christmas tree in Green Gables, I knew that one day you would be the mother of my children. I suddenly had a daydream and saw you with a little girl you named Joy and that dream that seemed so real knocked the air out of my lungs. I love you Anne-girl and I can't wait to be a father, hopefully, the best our little carrot deserves." His words were accompanied by a kiss that he placed on her forehead, never ceasing to caress her belly that from now on would grow day by day.

Anne's lips curled up, pleased and touched with what he had told her. "Joy is a beautiful name and you will be the best father a child could ask for. You are already the best husband. Maybe it's too early to think about names but I would like to name our baby Joy if it's a girl and Matthew John if it's a boy if you agree."

Gilbert stammered. "I-I would love that."

"Good, then we've got that settled." She gave him a smack on the mouth, her eyes then roaming to the sofa where Delphine was still asleep, one hand clasped around the wool blanket while she had the thumb of her other hand in her mouth, sucking on it. "She looks like an angel. I hope our child turns out as wonderful as Dellie."

"Dellie is a wonderful child and I'm sure our child will develop a wonderful character as well, I mean with you as its mother it couldn't be any other way. I just hope that our child doesn't do too much with Bash. I can easily do without being teased by our daughter or son. It's enough that I have Bash, Cole, and now Delphine doing that." Gilbert chuckled, not wanting to imagine having a child copying Uncle Bash's teasing behavior.

He took Anne's hand and pulled her with him to the sofa where Dellie was lying, lowering his head to the floor where he saw the picture that Dellie had painted for Santa. "The picture is still missing something." A kiss graced Anne's hand, which he brought to his lips before Gilbert bent down and picked up the white sheet of paper on which Dellie had drawn six stick figures. Grabbing a red wax crayon, he placed the sheet on the glass table in front of the sofa, kneeling on the floor.

"What are you up to, Gil. Dellie will kill you if you ruin her picture." Anne warned, trying to keep her voice low so she wouldn't wake Delphine.

"Shh!" Gilbert shushed his wife, positioning the crayon between his right thumb, forefinger, and middle finger. "Just wait and see."

The medical student then completed Delphine's drawing with two red hearts one on what he saw as the upper right side next to the elongated line that was supposed to represent Anne's body and was actually the left side, which of course he saw mirrored as the right side. Another, smaller heart he drew directly in the middle of the line, drawing the two hearts that now beat in Anne. A smile danced around his lips, lifting the page in the air to show Anne what he'd done. "I would have drawn a little carrot, but I liked a heart better. Plus it was faster and easier to draw. God, I don't even want to know what would happen if I ruined Dellie's picture."

"Gil, this is the cutest thing ever. I love it and so will Dellie." Anne beamed happily.

"Thanks, sweetheart but the question is whether Santa will like it." 

Looking down at Gilbert, who continued to kneel on the floor, she tousled his mane, her delicate fingers weaving through the texture of his curls, inwardly wishing their baby would get his hair. "Of course! After all, he has to know that there will be an addition to the family next year." She looked down to her middle, placing her right hand on it while she smiled warmly.

"I love you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe." Gilbert's hands found themselves on Anne's sweater, which he lifted, seeing on closer inspection a slight bulge on her belly. "And I love you too, my little carrot. Be a good baby and don't give your mommy any trouble for the next few months, will you?"

Anne had to giggle. "I love you more but you know the baby can't answer you, right?"

Gilbert shrugged, a smile lighting up his face as he directed his words to Anne. "Our baby and I understand each other without words, it's just like you and me, the invisible string that connects us all. What do we need words for when our love can speak for us?"

Rolling her eyes Anne tried to stifle her laughter that was on its way to leave her mouth. "Will you ever stop being so corny?"

"Not as long as I live. I know you secretly love it." Chuckling, he tore his eyes away from Anne, holding her knit sweater with his left hand and gently brushing her belly with the fingertips of the other. "I love you both so much." He whispered, then kissed her navel. Countless kisses he dropped on the milky layer of her stomach, bringing out of Anne the heavenly sound of her giggles.

"What the hell, Blythe. What are you doing with your wife? Can't you see there's a kid in the room, you moke?" Out of a sudden Bash's Trinidadian accent reverberated through the living room, standing in the doorway with a box full of presents, seeing Gilbert kneeling in front of Anne, her back turned to Bash so the older man couldn't see exactly what Gilbert was doing there with the giggling redhead. "There are bedrooms for that sort of thing."

Unimpressed by Sebastian's words, Gilbert placed one last kiss on his wife's stomach, covering it afterward before he got up from the carpet, wearing a smile on his face that could not be removed. He took the picture Dellie had painted with his help, winked at Anne, who was doing her best to keep a serious expression, and walked with it the few steps to the door. "You mean two!" He corrected him, putting the picture Dellie had painted on the pile of gifts that lay in the box around which Bash's hands were clasped. 

Looking at Gilbert questioningly at first, Bash then lowered his gaze to the sheet of paper. "I don't know what you're trying to tell me, Blythe. Two what?" He wanted to know as he looked more closely at the picture. "Is that the picture my little angel drew for Santa?"

"It is, but Gil helped her with it." Anne chimed in, giving her all to hold back a smile. "And what Gilbert is trying to tell you is that there isn't just one child in the room, there are two."

"I don't understand anything. Is this a picture puzzle I'm supposed to solve or what? Mary my angel I need your help. " Confused and looking a bit desperate, Bash called his wife, who at that moment entered the living room, putting her hand on Bash's back as she looked over his shoulder at the picture in the box. Gilbert couldn't deny that he liked the state Bash was in, seeing the perfect revenge for Bash's constant teasing in it.

"What's going on?" Mary asked, somewhat irritated, taking the picture out of the box and looking at it more closely. "Ah, my baby gave me wings and herself too, oh and Anne but wait... Why does Anne have two hearts?" Knowing her child's drawing style Mary knew who Delphine had drawn, yet she seemed just as confused as Bash who had placed the box on the floor and was scratching his beard looking for answers which at that moment he was given by Dellie who rubbed her eyes, got up from the sofa and wrapped her hands around Anne's middle. "There are two hearts beating inside Auntie Anne. Right here in her belly is a little carrot inside. That's what Uncle Gilby called it. Mommy do carrots have hearts?"

"Little carrot, two hearts?" Mary tried to solve the puzzle until suddenly it clicked in her head and she connected the dots. If Bash and Mary had glanced just once at the Christmas tree, they would have seen a white baby romper on the floor, but they didn't and so it was a four-year-old girl who, in her sleep, seemed to notice more than Anne and Gilbert would have wanted and put the puzzle pieces together.

Mary first covered her mouth with her left hand, but then scurried over to Anne and Gilbert, who finally let out the smile they had been trying to suppress for so long. "Oh my god, congratulations, you two. That's the best news ever. "

Bash still didn't seem to get it and looked left and right in confusion. "Um, what did you congratulate them on, my angel?" He wanted to know in search of answers, seeing how Mary had her hand resting on Anne's stomach just as Gilbert had who embraced the redhead from behind, his chin resting in the crook of her neck.

"Don't you get it, Bash? I'm going to be a father. This beautiful woman in my arms today has given me the best Christmas present ever." Grinning, Gilbert gave Anne a kiss on the neck, happiness visible in his expression. In Anne he had found everything he wanted from his life, his best friend and lover with whom he felt at ease as if he was walking barefoot on clouds or on a green meadow in which she was the flower he admired instead of picking, watering her petals with his affectionate manner so that it would grow to heights that the love could be seen from the sky, the galaxies in which all that she was made of would carry him forever, the cloud nine that was as soft as the heart in which his love was aiming.

"Damn Blythe, I didn't think you had it in you." Bash patted Gilbert on the back, congratulating him in his own special way. "Congratulations, Queen Anne. You're going to be a wonderful mother. " The congratulations for Anne turned out far more affectionate, accompanied with a kiss on Anne's cheek that glowed, radiating warmth that could be felt throughout the room.

"Merry Christmas, to all of you!" Anne voiced her wishes, rubbing her belly gently with the palm of her right hand that was covered by Gilbert's, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against hers, her home that wasn't a place but a person, him.

That evening, Anne and Gilbert knew they had arrived at the station in their lives that they could only imagine with each other. Every obstacle they had to overcome and every tear cried in years gone by were worth it because even though they both bore wounds and were broken, love was able to put the pieces together. In their mosaic they would always reflect each other, remembering which way they had to go to end up where they were now. The ache in him that was put there by the ache in her had long since ceased to be a part of their lives. All they put into the other was love, that one infinite love that every person desires. Even broken wax crayons still color and so they painted their lives in the brightest hues, shapes of hearts that leaped with joy, because that was on its way to them, joy, so much Joy!

* * *

Joy reached Anne and Gilbert on June 13th and although for many people 13 is an unlucky number, for the two of them it became the luckiest of all numbers. Anne gave up acting after the final season of Lavender Fields wrapped up in April. The screenwriters had specially written her pregnancy into the script, for which Anne was very grateful to the responsible production staff. She had had to spend the last two months of the pregnancy in bed because of complications that arose during the course, in Anne's case a cervical weakness, which caused her to bleed suddenly at the 28th week of pregnancy and gave her the most frightening hours of her life. Her fear of losing the child was great and the attempts of Gilbert, who was at least as scared as she was, to reassure her did not have the hoped-for success either. After a visit to the hospital, it turned out that the reason for the complications was stress. She was prescribed bed rest, which she willingly endured for the sake of her child, even though it was difficult for her not to go outside and feel the fresh California summer breeze. With her head on the pillow, she could always feel him sneaking in if he were a mythical thing, caring for her lovingly while she spent the days and weeks in bed until Joy was born. Joy made their happiness perfect, being showered by them with an amount of love they never knew could be felt with such a might. Besides her job as a mother, she began to indulge herself more in the love of writing while Gilbert continued to work on advancing his medical degree, being the best husband and father a woman could ask for.

There were to be many more moments of happiness for them in the years to come, six more healthy children, a house on the edge of the Avonlea woods, and the opening of Gilbert's own medical practice. Anne and Gilbert loved each other as they always did, in waves that were sometimes gentle, then intense, always strong, hitting the other with a once in a lifetime love, over and over again wave after wave, kissing, breathing, laughing, and with all the emotions their beings contained.

Anne made the best decision of her life when she followed her heart, which led her back to him in her hometown during the season she hated so much back then and over the years became her favorite season again. Until she would take her last breath, she would not regret that decision, loving him, the magnetic force of a man who gave her not only 7 healthy children but the greatest love of her life.

Living a life with no regrets, her waves met his shore ever and evermore…

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it now, the end! I hope you liked it! Actually I wanted to write a Christmas with Joy, but decided against it because otherwise the chapter would have become too long again. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. From now on I will turn back to my other Shirbert Fic. Who knows, maybe I'll see you there again. Thank you for everything!
> 
> Lots of love, Jessica❤


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